My (40f) Master (52M) of 7 years recently passed away, and I am completely at a loss.. the one person who truly knew me, whom supported me through difficult times, who was always there for me, guided me, provided me with direction.
I feel lost, and do not quite know what to do with myself. Anyone who went through something similar, willing to share what helped them through?
I felt a bit weird going as a single guy with no real experience. I figured I would go and have a look, see what happens, maybe talk to some people. I had no expectation that I would be participating
I was looking at some folks doing a spanking scene and got talking to a couple of girls, just generally discussing the scene, what brought me here, the location etc. I asked what they where there for and we ended up discussing doing a scene together. We went through a whole consent discussion, got some condoms from the bar, I stripped naked with a bunch of people watching. I got spanked by two people at the same time, my butt cheeks are pretty bruised.
Honestly better than what I was expecting, I think they may have set the bar higher than I should expect for future events!
So yeah, I really recommend trying this out if you're wanting to do something with your kinks. You probably shouldn't expect to get any action (not everyone there was involved). But still, take some toys, dress up, clean up your pubic hair, and be brave enough to start a conversation.
Hello, I 23F am not sure if this is the right subreddit to post in but recently my partner 25M went through my phone and went through my photo app. I have never had a partner go through my photos and I still had a few videos of me and my previous partners having sex or of me giving head. I know I shouldn’t have them but I honestly forget they are there since no one has ever asked me about it. While going through my phone he asked if I had any previous videos of my sexual encounters and intentionally tried to find them to watch them. He even saw a picture of me with another man’s thumb in my mouth and said he liked that. So far this has not affected our relationship at all and he is not mad at me in the slightest. I’m just very confused by his behavior I’ve never had a partner react positively to seeing me with another man. Does anyone know what this could mean? Could this be some kind of kink? He frequently asks about my past sexual encounters in detail and it doesn’t bother him at all.
So since making my fetlife account I have gotten a lot of if not 60% more attention from gay/bi men and it is… tempting. I never really liked men or their aesthetic but lately the comments and messages I’ve gotten have really thrown me for a loop. I think maybe I’m just not used to being so desired online as a guy but holy crap it’s interesting.
As you’re all out there looking for a Dom, as a Sub what information really stands out to you, and helps you decide on an online dynamic, or an online to in person dynamic?
My Dom is discussing collaring and the significance of that after many many years of on and off being his submissive. To him it's deeply symbolic and carries meaning. I'm not sure it was that big of a deal for me outside of playtime.
Would love to hear others views or experiences on this.
Actually I'm not even sure whether kissing is the right word. It’s more like fucking one’s mouth with one’s tongue.
If it is, does anyone know how and where to seek people into the same? I know lots of people enjoy kissing but I've never ever met a partner who likes it enough to satisfy my particular fixation.
Apologies if this is a dumb post.
I’ve learned the difference usually isn’t about how intense something is—it’s about how I feel after. A healthy challenge might push me, even scare me a little in the moment, but afterward I feel grounded, respected, and more connected to myself or my partner. There’s a sense of trust and clarity.
When something crosses a boundary, it’s quieter at first. I might rationalize it, but later I feel off—disconnected, anxious, or like I abandoned myself to please someone else. The biggest signal for me has been whether I feel safe being fully honest before and after. If I can’t speak up without fear, that’s not a challenge—that’s a line being crossed
I am a new sub trying to find my first mistress, but I'm confused as to what "tribute" really means I'm this context and if there is a "uniform" usage of this or if it is literally a different meaning for anyone that uses it. For example: when mentioning a contract, the advertiser mentions tribute is part of the contract. Does that mean it is a one time payment or am I to take it as the tribute will be a continual part of the dynamic, not just WHEN I feel like doing more? And no, this isn't findom. At least that is what I am told. That they "don't practice" findom, but expect monthly tributes. My mind can't make sense of the difference. What is wrong with me?
Need some help with my gf that seems to have a praise kink and dirty talk.
What are phrases I (male) can say while I am receiving oral, giving oral and while I am inside of her?
Ideally descriptive phrases describing her pussy, tongue, mouth, eyes, etc. Ideally position/act specific.
Also, phrases I can make her repeat. Like.. "Who's got the tightest pussy"
Lol dont worry.. I wont pull out my phone mid action.. ill be memorizing and practicing them
I’ve been lurking here forever, but lately I’ve been wondering-has anyone actually met a legit BDSM partner off Reddit? I’ve tried the usual spots FetLife, local munches, even some sketchy apps but nothing’s panned out. Maybe I’m just cursed, or maybe I’m looking in all the wrong places. Either way, sometimes I wish I could just stumble into a scene at a coffee shop like in the movies. Has anyone had any luck finding someone serious here, or am I wasting my time with this sub’s dating pool?
my partner and I have been getting into rope recently, and I've found (most of the time) I'm more comfortable with my wrists crossed than parallel like you see with every double column I've seen.
We've been using a modified larks head DC where my wrists are crossed and we take the rope around the middle of the cross vertically when we split the tails after wrapping it horizontally, but I feel like there's got to be a better way to do it
and suggestions or tutorials?
where on this site can one make personal post?
If not possible best site suggestions to do so?
from Montréal
as the title suggests me and a girl i met are thinking of using a st. andrews cross and she likes it a lil rough lil abusive physically and its my first time doing something like that so please help me
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I'm not really sure how to start this but my main goal with this post is to hear if anyone has dealt with this too.
My everyday life feels meaningless and empty when there isn't the drive of a dynamic. Such as work and career. Why even do things if I'm not doing any of it for someone else? Yes, I do see a problem with this. I'm not asking anyone to point out the obvious; I can see it. But has anybody else felt similar? Sometimes I would just like to hand it all to someone else and do it all for them and them only. It is much easier to go on with life if it's for them.
I'm a 29F sub with a bratty streak and some BDSM experience (affectionate domination, spanking, bondage, collars, DDLG stuff).
CNC is completely new to me though.
I have a specific fantasy in my head that I really want to play out eventually, but I know this is advanced and can go wrong fast if it's not handled right.
I'm looking to do it as part of building a dynamic.
I'm hoping for real, experienced advice on:
How to have a solid discussion and negotiation beforehand (what questions should we ask each other? What details need to be covered?)
Safety stuff for first-timers (safewords, signals if I can't speak, check-ins, emergency stops, etc.)
How to practice or build up to it gradually instead of jumping straight into the full fantasy
What a good "starter" CNC scene could look like before going all-in
Aftercare tips (especially the emotional side, since I know CNC can hit hard)
Any tips from subs who've been through it or Dommes who've run CNC scenes would be super helpful.
Thanks!
i'm looking for a wooden tenderizer paddle, something more rounded than rectangular, but not a full circle, or a square. anything i'm finding is too long, sold out, or a wonky shape. what woodworkers would you recommend for something like this?
do subs who like to be used actually want the dom to want to use them or just act like they are using them?
I have been been dealing with this in my head for a while now it comes and goes in waves but the more time that passes the more everyday things trigger me and remind me of that day. Now looking back at it I don't think it was play nor was it kink.
I'm pretty sure it was an assault disguised as kinky play and at the time in the moment when the time had frozen it just seemed as an extreme session. A session that I look back on and shiver and try to forget that it had ever happened. But more often than not I still feel the heavy impact on my skin even though the bruises are long gone, the cars have been covered by pretty thing. But the feeling of all those things still remains around me like a ghost, still haunting me to this day.
I have tried to get over it myself but its becoming harder and harder everyday and I don't know what to do or where to turn because once the bruises are gone people thing that everything is back to normal but the trauma is still there and trusting after such an even is very hard, its getting harder and harder to do as the time goes on.
How do people manage and cope with trauma that has been created from a scene?
Tags: Trauma,Impact,Experience(add)
20 minutes ago
Hiiiii so I'm relatively new to kink, really just entered the community back in January. I've been exploring with a dom at a dungeon, with basically zero expectations of a dynamic. But now things have developed into a situation where it's becoming harder and harder for me to not ask him to collar me. I've talked with him and he's interested in taking me on as his sub and will leave open a spot for me, but he's left the final decision totally up to me and is encouraging me to wait longer and interact with the kink community more before I ask for a collar.
I really recognize my vulnerability in this situation, I'm new to kink, I'm just getting out of a bad relationship, my home life is stressful AF due to said bad relationship (i live with my shitty ex). I really want to feel secure in my decision to enter into a dynamic with all the implications and commitments that comes with. I don't want this to be an emotional decision I make that ends up not being sustainable and hurts both of us.
So I guess I just wanted to ask what everybody here looks for when vetting a potential Dom? How do you know when you've found the right one? How long should I realistically wait before asking for a collar?
And as a side note, are there any lesbians/sapphics here with male doms that can tell me how their dynamic works? Cause that might be me in a bit here 😅