r/FemdomCommunity

Hello,

I've been browsing subs around femdom for some time and I've seen how submissively sometimes men talk to women in the comments. I thought it makes sense, because of what the subs are about and I assumed women which like to dominate, will enjoy it.

Then again "I assumed". In my mind it makes sense but that's the classic mistake. Assuming what women want and doing it, without even checking with them. There goes my question. Dear women, how do you feel when here on reddit men talk to you in a submissive, very polite way? Do you have some memorable examples, good ones or maybe when someone pushed it too far?

hi, I'm a 22 years old girl and I'm exploring what it is to be submissive. I'm doing a lot of search but these particular questions I actually want to hear its answer from real dommes rather than reading articles or watching youtube.

how do you view your submissives? what does their submission mean to you? and most importantly how do you view them as a person outside of bdsm?

I feel I would relate more to dommes with submissive girls, but you don't have to be f4f I still would like to hear your answer

Hey y'all!

I (31F) have been dating my boyfriend (34M) for about four months. We are long distance, we met on a trip and we fell in love with each other, and we've been navigating this. We're very compatible at many levels.

From almost the very beginning, we decided to start a 24/7 D/s dynamic with me as a Domme. I'm new to it, I had only subbed before, but I've been feeling way more comfortable in this role. My main goal is nurturing, I feel really connected taking care of him and helping him grow. I'm going really slow but I'm trying to establish dynamics that help him grow in some areas he wants to grow. I'm very new and I have different issues that I could use some help with.

1. I have some mental health issues myself, mostly anxiety. I also have a disorganized attachment style that I've worked on, but I'm still not 100 percent secure. Because of these two, I sometimes feel really low in energy and I need lots of me-time. When this happens, I feel really guilty about not being able to keep the dynamic going to the same level. A couple of examples below:

- last week I asked my sub to prepare something for me on Monday and we agreed he'd call me and read it to me on Monday, and he'd get rewarded with an orgasm after. However, we had a conversation about our relationship over the weekend and, even though it wasn't anything bad, it was something intense for me and I have taken about a week to stop being overwhelmed. Even though we've kept in touch, I was not present enough to do what we had planned for Monday, so I had to postpone.]

- when I'm feeling like this, I struggle to keep up with the routines I'm asking him to do. So I will not keep track of what things he's doing right or missing.

How do I deal with this without feeling like I'm doing things wrong?

2. Connected to what I was explaining before and its associated guilt and lack of confidence, I'm struggling with creativity blockages. All of a sudden, I'm not having ideas of what to command or what other routines I can establish?

How do y'all deal with creativity blockages?

Thank you everyone!

I’ve met someone on chyrpe and we’ve connected quite well and we’ve moved onto whatsapp and got to talking a lot more. i’ve done some pretty humiliating things and i’m kinda nervous that she might pull the rug or threaten to leak these videos.

how can i make sure she won’t and any glaring red flags to look out for

and if she leaks these videos how can i best avoid them going to friends and family

I hope this is the correct place to post this. I am a 26 year old male who has been into spanking for as long as I can remember but haven’t ever explored it. I fantasize about being spanked by an attractive woman and believe I have found one but she is quite a distance away from me. I did recently go to see someone local but she did not look like her pictures and the quietness of the hotel sketched me out so I couldn’t follow through. I also don’t really know my pain tolerance as I haven’t been spanked since I was a child and I’m nervous it’s low and I won’t be able to take much. I don’t want to drive for hours to see this woman and flake out again or not be able to take much as she is not inexpensive. In general I’m not a very submissive person which is why this fantasy has always confused me. Is it common for non submissive guys to enjoy being spanked? I’m not the manliest of men but certainly am not submissive.

Hey guys, I am a new dom, and I am still exploring what i like and what I don’t.

I spent a night with a sub last week and it was really good, i had so much fun, and he invited me to this bdsm party so i can meet people and explore more.

The problem is unfortunately i didn’t get to talk a lot with others since i don’t speak the local language well.

However I have a clearer idea of what I am into but I still have some unanswered questions so i would like if any of you can please give me some advice.

I didn’t like the fact that many of these man were so submissive without a fight or a push and pull.

It turned me off so much when someone comes to ask to lick my boots, but it turns me on when i flirt a little with a guy and then make him lick my boots.

I am trying to think of it the sale way when someone in a usual flirting situation comes randomly and ask for a kiss which of course is a turn off, and when i am into the person and i want them to kiss me, is this comparison logical?

And from you perspectives do u think i will find these kind of dynamics in these kind of parties or should i look elsewhere for my kind of subs.

To make it clearer i like it when the sub looks extremely masculine and wouldn’t cross no one’s mind that he is into this. i like to think he is only submissive for me and not others and there is some resistance and fun not just completely obedient from the first eye contact.

Kind of a gross question, but I'm curious. I assume most people like to be clean and hygienic, but is there anyone who prefers it filthy? Is it medically dangerous? And if so, what precautions can be taken?

For the dommes, if you sub asked you to not wash for a few days, would you oblige? And for the subs, if your domme asked you to clean them, would you obey?

Hi all, im a submissive guy and just thought i would get some thoughts here on something i have experienced quite a bit.

In searching for a dom partner it happens so often that you are blackmailed, i mean i take steps to verify such as photos with certain gestures and such, like maybe so many fingers up and one pointing left or something, ai checkers give like a 96% odds if it being real so i go for it, then suddenly boom, “im gonna send your nudes to all the people you know, to your work, family etc.” All of which are not ideal. Anyhow, i assume they never actually do it and just mock them a bit then block the number, but its still stressful for like one week after the event where you are wondering maybe this one wasn’t lying, maybe she was for real etc.

So what are some better ways to 1- verify the dom? and 2- avoid blackmail from a poser.? And 3- how does one properly find a dom, i had one in the past, but seems i got lucky?

Enjoy yalls day

Me M27 , my Gf 26 have a power exchange dynamic and we r trying new things such as getting co dom with us , and now she wants me to go on Reddit and be interactive on it to get ideas to help secure that power exchange. Now she is telling me about position that I should be posing when she arrives home , when we get into bed when when we r having lunch and the most important one when I’m getting maintenance spanking , she is asking me to ask in Reddit what is the position I should be doing and how to do it , if u could help , she will observe the comment and take what she thinks suits me. If u could help because I have a deadline

I have been into the lifestyle for a while and have had a wonderful experience so far. But as someone with anxiety issues, it makes it very difficult for me to understand if I am talking to someone online (mostly on reddit), if they are trying to scam me or just want me to subscribe to their OF. Don't get me wrong, my first mistress initiated it and I just fell into it and I knew i could trust her after a while. But since then it's been difficult to find someone, whom I can feel safe with.

Why not find someone on dating apps or maybe at bars, you ask?

Admitting that I like to be dominated is still something which makes me feel shy and passive, so it's a little scary.

Recently had my first play session virtually the other day. It was my first time working with the person so we started off slow to get comfortable and then ramped it up. Didn’t really know what to do so just followed their lead as well as what felt comfortable. After the fact I was sittin around once things were over and done with and kinda reflecting.

I can’t believe how refreshing it was. To be able to just hand the reins over to someone else and not have to worry. They’ve had me edging/in a lighter form of chastity so I haven’t been masturbating nearly as much anymore so I feel more focused. I feel way more confident today than I have in a while bc if I did what I did with them why can’t I be more assertive in life as well? Feeling overall empowered and motivated to start doing more with how I handle myself in general.

Also, while I think my social life is pretty solid, I now have something to look forward to every other day (that also makes another person’s day better). While I’m not trying to rush anything with them or anything in general, I cannot wait for my first in person session. The level of burn out I’ve been feeling lately has felt LEAGUES easier today to deal with than as of late. Big shout out to all dominants, ty for what ur doin!

TL:DR: Femdom is making me feel better about myself and the world around me.

When we first got married my wife loved helping me to open up about my sissy fantasies but now shes lost a lot of interest. To be fair it is a very self indulgent kink but also one i enjoy so much more sharing wifh my wife.

For instance im sat in the bedroom in pretty white corset and tights, hoping she will help play with her sissy husband, and all i can think of is to offer to go down on my wife and get her off she might pay us back and have me posing in a dress and kinky boots which we can use for a little light hearted humiliation.

Do any ladies her have any other ideas about what i can do for her attention wise which might encorzge her to be a bit more willing to help me imdulge my kinky side?

Sooo I’ve been looking for a goddess or master to worship and be used by irl, however I may also have a partner…they are in the same state as me but I rarely get to see her plus she doesn’t really have the same wants as I do when it comes to sexual fun, so let me ask is it wrong for me to be trying to have a owner in my life to use and abuse me while also having a relationship, like i know it’s wrong but my god does it just feel so right and somehow turns me on.

I just wanna be a pathetic slut to be seen as a toy by others, is that so hard?

I just want to say that I admire the courage of yours (especially of those from more conservative countries) , to try and have what you like and need, with a person you love and need, despite all social pressure put upon you, and all the unfavorable circumstances put before you by the society, and this patriarchal hierarchy that keeps us all down (some more than others, as I said especially those of you from conservative countries). I especially admire the dommes from conservative countries, since in these countries women are awfully suppressed and in some of these countries their rights and safety is often endangered, yet they continue to fight for what they love and what they deserve. You are wonderful human beings deserving of all the admiration, always remember that.