How to keep 24/7 dynamic when we're going through something in the relationship?
Hey y'all!
I (31F) have been dating my boyfriend (34M) for about four months. We are long distance, we met on a trip and we fell in love with each other, and we've been navigating this. We're very compatible at many levels.
From almost the very beginning, we decided to start a 24/7 D/s dynamic with me as a Domme. I'm new to it, I had only subbed before, but I've been feeling way more comfortable in this role. My main goal is nurturing, I feel really connected taking care of him and helping him grow. I'm going really slow but I'm trying to establish dynamics that help him grow in some areas he wants to grow. I'm very new and I have different issues that I could use some help with.
- I have some mental health issues myself, mostly anxiety. I also have a disorganized attachment style that I've worked on, but I'm still not 100 percent secure. Because of these two, I sometimes feel really low in energy and I need lots of me-time. When this happens, I feel really guilty about not being able to keep the dynamic going to the same level. A couple of examples below:
- last week I asked my sub to prepare something for me on Monday and we agreed he'd call me and read it to me on Monday, and he'd get rewarded with an orgasm after. However, we had a conversation about our relationship over the weekend and, even though it wasn't anything bad, it was something intense for me and I have taken about a week to stop being overwhelmed. Even though we've kept in touch, I was not present enough to do what we had planned for Monday, so I had to postpone.]
- when I'm feeling like this, I struggle to keep up with the routines I'm asking him to do. So I will not keep track of what things he's doing right or missing.
How do I deal with this without feeling like I'm doing things wrong?
- Connected to what I was explaining before and its associated guilt and lack of confidence, I'm struggling with creativity blockages. All of a sudden, I'm not having ideas of what to command or what other routines I can establish?
How do y'all deal with creativity blockages?
Thank you everyone!