r/sugarlifestyleforum

What are some early signs that they won’t be a SD

Im contemplating going back to seeking for a new SD. Ive had 2 SR and its time to move on again. I never enjoy the break ups but reality hits and I move. Its been almost 4 years since I've had to search so I'm wondering if there are any new platforms or more recommended sites?

Not going to share my exact location but I know it can depend on the state so, California.

I run my own business so please hold off on the get a job lol. I want to be loved on😊

Hi! Im very new to sugaring but have been lurking here for a while.

One thing I’ve seen mentioned now and again—typically in comments here—is mentoring, and I haven’t found anything on it in the pinned thread/board. Apologies if I just missed it!

Is there such thing as sugaring mentorship, speaking in regard to just teaching, passing along advice and so on, or is it typically used regarding a dynamic that may exist within some SRs?

Im just a bit confused and would like to better understand.

When buying a boat, you know you have the financial means to operate it if you can lay a couple hundred dollars on the ground and light it on fire without regard for your loss. I think the same mentality goes for sugaring. You can be generous and drop xxxx during shopping for her but then she ghosts when she going to meet you later on that evening.

Lesson learned: TBD but i think its something like stupid hurts 🤕

I am a 40 year old married SD. My long-term SB(25) of 2 years has disclosed recently that she tested HSV1 positive. We were not exclusive and she don't know whom she got it from.
I always used condoms but we never used condoms for oral sex and I gave her oral too.

This puts me in a difficult situation since its hard to determine when she got infected and how many times we met since it shows on tests only after several weeks. I am aware of HSV1 being very common but I am scared of bringing this home.

I am thinking of breaking up with her. What are your thoughts on this?

Late yesterday, today all day… messages, likes, etc. New folks, old convos that didn’t pan out restarting… Why?

He is risen! 🍆

Seriously though, I can’t be the only one, as this is a ridiculous amount of messages from both old convos and new, from multiple sites. So, what is it? It is the start of Spring? Is there something in the water? Are tax returns coming and I should beware the John type during this time?

So I posted a few days ago about my terrible SD who I plan to dump. An SD on Reddit reached out, as it turns out we’d met up about a year ago while he was in my city. We planned to meet up again, but he then disappeared on me. After recently reaching out, asked if we could do a video chat this past weekend, and I was like of course.

But then I got bronchitis and a fever and was feeling absolutely terrible, so I didn’t check Reddit or go much on my phone at all and completely forgot to respond with a time. He said it seemed I wasn’t interested and I apologized and told him where I was more responsive (a specific messaging app).

Later, I checked the app I asked him to contact me on (since I don’t visit Reddit a ton), and he hadn’t contacted me yet. So I sent him a message reiterating my username on that other platform, and then I went to bed. When I woke up, it turned out he had messaged me while I was asleep. Then, also while I was asleep, blocked me everywhere. Presumably because I didn’t respond immediately. It’s the strangest thing. I would maybe, MAYBE, understand if we hadn’t literally met before. But we did.

Also, is it that hard to communicate? I know people don’t like to waste time. But blocking me just because I didn’t respond immediately, late at night, seems to be an overreaction. I genuinely wanted to chat and meet up, but I was literally so sick that I could barely get out of bed. I even told him that I was sick and going to sleep.

Am I just unlucky? Are guys in this lifestyle just like this? He prides himself on being a gentleman, and I really thought he was one of the good ones. I’m so exhausted. With everything and everyone.

So, I few months ago I shared that after a divorce I would look into sugaring to get married again.

So as an update, I tried it and it went terribly, I mean didn't get married, thank god, but it was a disaster. Should've listened to you guys. And I hope there's no one stupid enough to ry it like me, but if so see this post and regret.

I have been in this for some time and from the start I have been purposefully seeking out much older men generally because I actually like it and them being a SD is a much added benefit. Anyone else who feels the same?

Then there’s me losing my old Seeking account and having to start completely over 😭

It’s a little annoying rebuilding everything .. the profile, the conversations, all of it. Like damn, I had that one perfectly curated 😂

BUT… I already have 5 dates lined up, so clearly nothing really changed 💁🏾‍♀️

At this point I can confidently say Seeking has never failed me. No matter what, I always land exactly where I need to be.

So yeah… mildly irritated, but definitely not worried 😌✨

I guess that’d be privileged info. Here’s the context: I was getting along REALLY well with my first ever SD. I caught feels when I kind of barely know the guy because he saved me from getting more desperate. I mean, I actually caught feels for him because he’s very reserved, intelligent, came up on his own, has good taste, he’s nice to animals, got tested right away, and the best lay I’ve ever had. I have a way better job, moving out of my mom’s house, getting back into school, finally getting divorced payed for. This was literally from like a couple months where he’d throw me like 300 every week to fix my car, and deal with emergencies. It helped me gain independence, now I want to hang out with him for free :/. Anyway, I could tell he was probably slowing down? Getting avoidant, not feeling it. Another guy from Seeking just wanted to meet to grab lunch and I went. I could just be a loser that got ghosted twice, but it almost seemed like a test? It was really weird, after the other guy took me out they basically went silent. Last time I heard from the guy I caught feels for, was a week ago. The other guy wanted to make out, but never followed up with me to meet up again. I’m probably driving myself insane, the timing was just so weird. I expected to be ghosted a lot sooner in the bowl, hope he finds what he’s looking for though. I’m pretty sure he blocked me. Follow up question, if I didn’t just fail a very elaborate fidelity test, when would be a good time for me to get back on Seeking? I’m considering staying in the bowl basically just to find another man who’s older, smarter, low commitment, and less dramatic than men my age. Would it be tacky of me to just post all of my new gym pics? Should I hold out for him to potentially hit my line again? TBH I come from feckless trailer park people that can’t tie their own shoes and SDs can usually give pretty stellar financial advice. Has anyone else been serial ghosted like that? Are these guys friends? Are they in the same Telegram or something? Am I Tom Cruise in Eyes Wide Shut?

Hey I’m new to the sugar world but I want to know what are the dynamics of your relationships. Do you chitchat and just vibe all the time between meets or is it just strictly business or transactional. What’s your ideal relationship dynamic? Is it normal to genuinely enjoy the other person and still keep the dynamic/arragement in place

I was on a date yesterday, and we have had a great time, dinner, laugh, etc. He is a bit older 57, I am 35. after the date he gave me a lot of money just because and said he had a great time. I loved that; in Ljubljana this does not happen to a normal woman. And it unlocked something primal in me, by wanting to replicate it again and find men like this. Is this normal and why am I craving for more?

When buying a boat, you know you have the financial means to operate it if you can lay a couple hundred dollars on the ground and light it on fire without regard for your loss. I think the same mentality goes for sugaring. You can be generous and drop $1500 during shopping for her but then she ghosts when she going to meet you later on that evening.

Lesson learned: TBD but i think its something like stupid hurts 🤕

How are you?

Has anyone else noticed an uptick in submissive SDs?

I’m a switch that leans subby and any kink discussion includes that information, but recently the number of submissive men who want to be bossed around has outnumbered both vanilla and dominant men combined.

I’m admittedly an older sugar baby (40) who has often been called intimidating professionally and personally (I am extremely confident and my career requires a level of no nonsense). On Saturday I was described as “intense” during a m&g and told I made him “nervous. And I don’t get nervous… it’s hot as fuck.” Which, ok, I’m not bothered by this, maybe the combination of my age, demeanor, and communication style simply attracts the submissive types. Or maybe I’m triggering it in some way.

A few have suggested switching between roles… only for them to only ever want to submit. Maybe the suggestion was an attempt to “save face.” And more than one initially claimed to be a dominant or alpha, but end up completely deferring.

Most immediately ask for a second date, so maybe I’m just discovering a niche market or running a conversion camp of some sort.

(Repost after trigging the auto moderator with the phrase “Yes, *juvenile term for a female parent*.)

SBs - how do you go about a discussion if an SD reaches out asking if you would be open to be his “tour guide” during his visit in your city?