r/ThreesomeAdvice

So I had a confusing encounter with my husband and his girlfriend; for background when they first began dating we asked if she would be interested in a polycule (girlfriend is also married and we are al poly) but she stated specifically she wasn't attracted to me. That was disappointing but I was happy to see her and husband together.

So one evening husband, GF and myself are hanging out, they start getting intimate and I ask if they would like alone time. That is when GF inviting me to join them. She said there would be no interaction between the two of us and we would just be playing with husband. I agreed but she went on to interact with me. I didn't interact back as I thought she had set a boundary, especially since she knew I was attracted to her and she had already rejected me.

After I had some time to think about it all I find myself feeling used. Like she made this boundary she expected me to follow, and I did, but she crossed it herself and it felt like a 'rules for thee but not for me' situation, and frankly I feel like I was a convenience rather than a person in the situation. Am I just too close to the situation or does this sound weird?

Always have a thought about couples having threesome that do they not feel bad when their partner is fucking someone else in front of them, yeah they must be busy enjoying themselves but still...

Also I think it would be having negative impact on the relationship in the long run though people have this opinion that they do because of spicing their sex life

Open to hear other POVs...

Hey everyone,

My wife and I have been together 3.5 years, married for a year. We’re 27 and 25, have a really strong relationship, and an amazing sex life.

I’ve had experience with this kind of dynamic before, but for her this would be completely new. Recently we started talking about it more seriously and feel ready to explore it together.

For me, it’s always been about the dynamic of more than two people, not replacing anything. At the same time, I’m aware she’s younger and new to this, so I want to make sure we approach it the right way.

It will be MFM. Plan is to meet someone for drinks first and just go based on the vibe. If it feels right, maybe take it further.

Main question is whether this feels too early in a relationship or at our age?

Also, for those who’ve done this before, what boundaries or rules did you set early on? We’ve talked more about the idea than specifics because we want it to feel natural, but I’m wondering if that’s a mistake.

Would really appreciate advice from people with experience.

My wife and I are early 60s, together 40 years, very solid sexual relationship.

We haven't been able to have PIV sex in a very long time, but we're still sexually active 5+ times a week in other ways.

A few months ago I realized I'm bisexual and told her. She was very supportive.

Last week she suggested a MMF threesome. I could explore being with a man, and she could have PIV again, which is something she really misses.

She doesn't have anyone in mind. This is a general idea, not something driven by a specific person.

I'm into the idea. I'm especially curious about being with a man, and I also like the idea of her getting something she's been missing for a long time.

The only mixed feeling I have is that while I'm turned on by the idea of seeing her with another man and even participating in 3-person acts, there's also a small part of me that feels a little sad that it's someone else's P in her V. I don't think it would hurt our relationship, but it's there.

For me, getting off with her in other ways feels just as good as PIV, but I know for her it's a completely different feeling, and she misses it.

We communicate well and have talked about all this openly. Neither of us is worried about this turning into something emotional or ongoing with another person. That's not something either of us is looking for.

We would be going into this with our eyes open. We understand that some men may present themselves as bisexual just to get access to sex with my wife, and we've already talked through how we'd recognize that and address it if it came up.

We've also discussed boundaries and expectations ahead of time. Nothing so rigid that it would kill the spontaneity, but enough that we both feel comfortable, know what's on the table, and have a clear way to pause or stop if either of us, or the third, needs to.

I think what I'm really trying to understand is whether this mix of excitement and a bit of emotional hesitation is something normal to work through, or a sign we should slow down. I'm also wondering if our reasons for this might be a red flag in themselves.

Is having an MMF threesome a mistake for us?

NOTE: We aren't looking for volunteers here, we're looking for advice.

Hey so my gf is shy and doesn't want to do any of the conversation aspect of finding another women. We have heard that its easier if she does the talking. Essential we are looking for maybe some apps we can try or maybe get some advice on how we should go about looking. Any advice helps thank you!

I set up an encounter, hoping that it would play out as I imagined.

Took her to another town, shopping, dinner, motel. Had arranged a massage, with the understanding that if she wasn't responsive, he would just give the massage and go. It sounded good in my brain.

Wasn't totally blind as she knew that something was up due to timelines, like we need to be back by a certain time. I teased her, leading up to the weekend of the proposed massage and possible outcomes afterward. That said, she never saw photos or had any conversation with potential guy.

Guy shows up late, not a big deal. Wasn't really prepared again wasn't a huge deal but hard to sell as a masseuse.

She came out and was like NOPE.

I asked him to leave and apologized for having invited him just to have him leave. He was understanding and left. (This is not a bash on the guy as im the one that failed to set things up correctly)

At this point, I figure im in the dog house at best.

She says it felt like an ambush, and she wasn't comfortable with the whole situation. (Looking back, i see that now, but honestly, my dumb ass didn't see it before)

We ended up still having amazing sex and enjoyed the night.

I definitely learned a few things, and our discussions were honest and deep. All in all, I failed, but there were some positive aspects, too.

Thanks for reading, and feel free to offer advice if you like.

Appreciated

what steps should i take now

So basically me (27), and my wife (29) have been having this ongoing fantasy of involving another woman.

We’ve gone through steps of talking through it, and what our boundaries would be, fantasizing during sex, etc. But then the next day, or a week later, she changes her mind or says it’s a bad idea.

Here’s the thing, despite the obvious caution I have, I’m pretty down , I love my wife with all my heart and want to make sure everything goes in a positive way with as limited risk to our relationship. THAT being said, I’m down to just drop it completely, but she is the one that will drop it, then bring it up completely on her own.

My thought is she wants it bad, but is scared? I’m not really sure how to make her feel less nervous/take it to the next step. She’s gone as far as making a tinder for me (yes, we were going to be upfront about our situation), but then she went back a day or two later and said maybe it’s a bad idea etc etc. I said well I guess we should delete the tinder then, so she did. Cut to two weeks later she’s talking about having a threesome again. Lots of instances exactly like this. Almost always her killing the idea, and almost always her reintroducing it

Anyone have any experience with this?

My wife and I are exploring the idea of MFM and seeking a male to join. Curious if real life people are having success using Reddit (various swinger communities etc ) or whether apps (feeld? ) are the only real way to find someone. Other app suggestions ?

Sooo I was going on my gf phone to check an email and noticed she was on this reading app, WattPad. I read a little and noticed it was dirty books. I was just looking around the app and saw her search history of threesome.

We both are 25 and are each others first everything.

Do you think I should ask about her kinks or whether or not she would like a threesome? I also am curious is she was interested in MFF or MMF.

What’s the best the approach?

I'm very curious why for a first time experience some couples add their friends into the mix. I would understand those who have had some experience to maybe be interested but for those who have none why risk losing your friend?

Hi, just wanted to have some advice.

I recently had my first FFM threesome with my fwb. I trusted him to pick someone I would get along with and I really looked forward to this a lot. The vibe was very good, very relaxed and low key. Note: the woman joining us was also someone he has been meeting up with, but I don't think it's his girlfriend.

Since we are into rope play (he's been my dom when we meet up), he tied me up and gave me a rope harness, while she watched. It was all very hot and I absolutely loved everything about the sex itself. We got into oral play and it was so exciting to do something for the first time again.

However, once we were finished, everything kinda backfired for me. First, we just remained on the seat and 'came down' a bit. We went upstairs to the bed and I lay in the middle, which was very uncomfortable. I also was not in any way coming down from my high, had heart palpitations and I started feeling very emotional. My two partners were already asleep. Now, I decided to leave the bed and sleep on the couch downstairs. I could not sleep at all, the pressure on my chest getting worse and I started doubting everything I did. I felt so unsure, insecure, emotional and most of all lonely as f*ck. During the sex I couldn't care less if they were kissing or playing, but every now and then i heard them kissing while I wasn't there and it made me feel SO much worse.

I left pretty early in the morning, said goodbye to them while they were cuddling in bed and they didn't really care. I left and cried in my car, still overstimulated from the night and very emotional.

Now I'm feeling better already but I don't know where this came from. Is this normal? Do I have to admit that I care more for him than I thought? Should I mention this to him? It's such a shame that the good sex was ruined for me by everything that happened after.

My wife (31) wants to experience a woman. I’m not against it, as long as I can in some way be present. She’s expressed to me wanting to try it, so I told her I’d help find someone. We’ve mutually tried dating apps with no luck. How can I find her a unicorn.

I’ve been in a relationship with my girlfriend and my husband for 3 years now. We have a very active sex life and usually do everything together. However, yesterday morning I woke up and realized they weren’t in bed. I found them in the other room having sex.

When I talked to them about it, my girlfriend said she got horny in the middle of the night and they didn't want to wake me up because they wanted me to rest.

Even though we have sex every day and things are usually great, I feel incredibly jealous. I’ve never felt this way before in our 3 years together. I think it’s because I felt excluded, even though they say they were trying to be "considerate" of my sleep.

• Is it normal to feel this jealous even if I’m getting plenty of attention?
• How do other triads handle "two-on-one" time when the third person is asleep or busy?
• Am I overreacting, or is this a boundary we need to sit down and redefine?

I’d love to hear from anyone in a similar dynamic. Thanks.

Does white men like to join for threesome with brown skin Asian couple.. if they don’t have gym type bodies also??

My wife and I (31M,31F) plan on having our first MMF soon, we’ve done MFM in the past with a FWB, amazing guy but he wasn’t bi so we never tried anything. We will be going out of state to the NE are and figured it would be a great time to try it, what the best way to pick up bi guys who would be down for that? Should we use apps or try the old fashion way of going to a bar?

Saw another question here and I want to hear from others, men and women alike. What's your thought of giving oral while the 3rd is penetrating? Is this too close for other men's comfort? Not in a shame or dominance way. More so because I personally find the thought of arousing my wife in that way while shes being pleasured by the third seems really intimate. As someone who has called myself straight my whole life its hard to understand this one. im not afraid to say im bisexual but, I genuinely don't consider myself to be.

In a threesome where the women are cool with kissing, but nothing more,

what are things that can keep things just as exciting, engaging, and fun?

I’m a man. My thoughts go to

• one riding me while the other sits on my fave

• kissing/kissing on one while I fuck the other

• kissing one while the other rides me

•Fucking one while the other kisses on me

• Going back and forth kissing on them while rubbing on both of them.

• have them hold hands to keep balance while one bounces up and down on me

What else?

M32F30 addicted to threesome especially mmf, would you suggest a professional porn movies to watch?