r/RapekinkOpen

After a few days here, here is what I have learned :

- I am a feminist with a misogyny kink. I already knew it could arouse me but it became stronger.

- I am aroused when someone ask me to tell them what happened to me. The details of my rapes. I learned trauma play is a thing.

- I am aroused by the idea of strangers having pictures of my body and not knowing if they will share them with their friends for example.

- I might be broken beyond repair. And it’s scary.

8-years ago, I (F) was 20 at the time, my housemates (all three of them were guys) were having a house party and I was just in my room listening to Taylor Swift, really just keeping to myself.

I went out to the kitchen to grab a drink, the party was mostly guys, I only saw maybe a couple other girls but they were with their boyfriends.

Anyway, while I was at the kitchen, one of the guys who I didn't recognize cornered me and started chatting with me, asking where I was from (I'm from California but my parents are Indian) and flirting with me. Tbh, I'm naturally meek, shy and non-confrontational, nor did I want to offend, so yeah, I entertained him and chatted a little.

He then told me to take my drink and sit with him so I did. We continued chatting with me but after a while, I noticed I started feeling drowsy, trouble focusing and I was slurring my words.

I woke up the next morning, I was sore, my legs were wobbly, naked, my curling iron shoved in my vagina, my hair (both on my head and down there) were matted in cum, and dried cum covering my face and breasts. Someone took my sharpies and wrote things like "colonized" and "white man's whore" on my body, along with a few other racial slurs.

One of my housemates told me that yeah, I was gang raped by most of the guys at the party, plus a few others who showed up later.

Here's the thing though, I know it sounds fucked up, but what bothers me about this is not being gang raped but the fact I was blacked out and don't remember anything.

I kinda wish I was awake to feel and see it.

He is a coworker who was always very flirty with me, i always shot him down, but that never stopped him from trying. "Persistence is key" is literally what he told me when i asked him why he kept wanting me to go on a date with him.

At one point i considered filing a harassment charge to HR but in a way i also liked the attention, and i enjoyed the chocolate i often found at my desk so... yea.

Then the time came, when we had to drive to a client together once a week. A 2 hour car ride together. Obviously he was very happy about having "more quality time" with me.

During the ride he often did things like putting his hands on my thighs and such.

Then we had a big Halloween party at work. I dressed up in a sexy, but still appropriate, cosplay. Had a good time. He was eyeing me. At one point we were alone, he kissed me, and put his hands down my... you know what. I left.

Next work i did file a harassment charge against him. But i was never a person who liked drama and conflicts, so I wasn't specific, and simply wrote he was acting inappropriate towards me, hoping the light consequence of a stern talking to would be enough for him to stop it. Not like i wanted to ruin his life.

It did stop for a while, but mostly we weren't working together as much then.

Then at some point our client needed visits again, and i was asked if i was comfortable doing it with him again. I said sure, i didn't had issues with him anymore.

First car ride, everything was fine. On the way back, he started to touch me again.

Next week same thing on the first ride.

Then on the way back, he asked me about my charge. What i was thinking. We talked about it. He told me "You like my attention, or you would have told them what i actually did to you". I didn't really respond because yea, im a girl. I like attention even when i don't like it. Its how our brain works. Things kept going back and forth like that for a bit.

Then at one point he literally whipped out his dick during the car ride and told me to suck it.
Of course i told him to fuck off and to stop the car so i can get out. He locked the doors and took a detour until we stopped somewhere in the middle of nowhere. He asked me if i was on birth control. I said no. Not sure why i even answered to be honest. He said "we'd have an issue then, because he will cum inside of me today, and if it's not gonna be my throat it will be my pussy."

Things kept going more intense, and eventually he did. He opened the doors again, but before i managed to even comprehend what was happening, he pulled me out of my seat, and bend me against the hood of the car. It felt like it was hours, but probably a lot shorter. He came inside of me.

I distinctly remember the feeling of the sex, the hood. The way he afterwards caressed my butt. Using a finger to push his cum back inside when it began leaking out of me. The slap he gave my butt. The way he pulled his pants back up and closed his belt, his facial expression like a job well done.

He wanted us to go back into the car. I was confused, hurt, humiliated. He helped me put on my own pants again properly. We went back into the car, we didn't talk. He dropped me off home. He had the biggest smile on his face. "See you tomorrow!" and drove off.

I called in sick for a few days, until i would have to get a doctors note. So i returned to work, being afraid of seeing him again. I went to grab a coffee, and while i was there, he came in for the same reason. My heart was racing. When he lightly touched my hips walking past me to a cabinet, i felt like i pissed myself. It made me so wet, i have never experienced that before.

The once when we were alone, he asked me if i was thinking about "filing a charge against his inappropiate behavior again.". I remember just looking at the ground in shame. "Thought so" was his answer to that.

The more time passed, the more he teased me about it. It did so many things again. And he knew he had this power over me. Like he could remote control my body. Touching me whenever he could, or simply saying the right thing and watching me squirm.

Eventually we had to get into that car again. Everything about my mind screamed no, but my body said yes. He came by my room and told me it's time for us to leave, i did. He took me by my hand, literally.

On our way to the client, he whipped out his dick again during the ride and asked me if i was feeling more compliant today. I did, and gave him head. Then on the way back, he fucked me again.

And as time went on, he kept fucking me whenever he had the opportunity.

In the office, he took me by my hand and touched me increasingly often in front of others and simply told them we are dating. And as time passed, this became more and more the case. I started to be less ashamed of what happened, to enjoy it even, to look forward to it. And now 2 years later, we are in fact living together. And honestly, im genuinely happy with this relationship

Omg so it happened about a month ago when I just turned 18! I hangout with older friends so they were able to get me a fake ID to go into the club with! I had just turned 18 and my friends wanted to take me out because I had been begging them to take me to the clubs so I can dance and drink! Mind you I had never really drank before or even gone to a club but there I was going out to explore!

Anyways, | was out with my friends but then I saw a white guy that was kinda cute so I went over to him and just started talking and flirting. I told my friends that I would be fine and they can go without me! I figured fuck it I'll get free drinks for my bday!

He offered to buy me drinks so I accepted but then it was one drink after another and maybe a couple shots. I then told him it was my bday and I had just turned 18 and he didn’t care I wasn’t supposed to be at the club he just kept buying me drinks!

Anyways I was blacked out drunk and he ended up taking me back to his frat house with his frat bros. Yeah I remember just being brought inside the house and I remember someone saying "she's a hot fucking slut" and then he carried me to the couch and laid me there and I do remember him touching my body but then I felt more hands on me and I blacked out! When they brought me into the frat house I do remember it was around 7-8 guys there! After I was on the couch on the verge of blacking out I slightly remember someone kissing my lips and then opening my mouth and they put their cock inside my mouth while someone else penetrated me while others grabbed my body but that's all I remember!

It was a moment I'll never forget! I woke up covered in dry cum on my body and cum leaking from my pussy! I ended up going to buy plan B since I wasn't on birth control! I did feel ashamed and disgusted at first but later that night I got horny just barely remembering what they did to me and I ended up touching myself until I came. Ever since that night a month ago I crave that experience again I’m so fucking hypersexual!

Please, let your imaginations run wild and tell me every thought you stroke your cock to.

Alternative prompt: If you suddenly got a magic fleshlight that connected to my actual cunt, what all would you do with it? 😈

When I was 18 I went camping with a few guys from school.

We brought a lot of wine and liquor, and got completely wasted the first night. It was summer and sweltering hot, so by the time it got dark we'd all stripped down to almost no clothes.

Around the bonfire one friend kept feeding me shots and whispering in my ear to slide my panties off to feel the fresh air, but told him no every time. I liked teasing him though so I kept sitting on his lap and wiggling against his hard cock. Eventually I was so drunk I couldn't talk straight so he walked me to a tent while everyone else kept partying.

I blacked out quick, but the last thing I remembered was feeling his hands start kneading my tits. I woke up a bit later completely naked, my tits pushed into the ground, and my friend grunting in my ear as he was forcing his 7 inch cock into my asshole. I started struggling and he just covered my mouth with his hand and pushed his dick deeper into my tight ass. I groaned and tried to wiggle away but he was too strong.

He fucked my tight ass so hard I started crying as he stretched me out. My crying only made him go faster as he fucked into my virgin ass, sticking his fingers in my mouth and calling me a filthy slut for teasing him all night. As I started fighting him again with more strength, he pulled out of my ass and shoved his dick into my unprotected pussy, i panicked because I wasn't on birth control and he sped up against my straining. I could still hear the music from the party so no one could hear my crying for help as he pumped my drunk pussy full of his cum.

Uuughhh I still masturbate to the thought of him raping me that night, how my crying only made him fuck me harder. Sometimes I go to bars now and pretend to be a bit too tipsy to see if I can get guys to take advantage of me again.

About 8 years ago, I met a man in a bar. We started chatting between drinks and stayed until the bar closed, by which time I was pretty drunk. He asked me if I wanted to continue our conversation in his car before heading home. So I got into the passenger seat and him into the driver seat. We kept talking and the alcohol kept working. He could tell that I was pretty out of it because he got out of the car and came around to my side. I should mention that I was wearing a skater dress without panties. I never wear panties with skirts or dresses because I’ve had issues with them slipping off my hips when I walk in the past and just don’t want to deal with adjusting them. I’m sure he was pleasantly surprised at how easy I made it for him. He reclined the seat and climbed on top of me. He forced my legs open as i tried to push him off of me and back out the open car door. He grabbed my arms and put his weight on them so I couldn’t move and forced his cock into my pussy. My body was tense so it took a few attempts but he was finally able to stretch me open enough to get all the way inside me. I eventually stopped fighting and just laid there as my body started to lubricate itself against my assault. I tried to zone out a little but he made it hard because he kept kissing my mouth and neck and chest as he thrust harder into me. Luckily I was on birth control because after what seemed like forever, he dumped his load deep inside me.

We had already exchanged numbers in the bar before any of this happened, but I was still surprised to get a text from him the next day. I was very hungover. Over the next few days he managed to convince me that it was my fault for dressing the way I did and flirting. Maybe I did give mixed signals? I don’t know. But he got inside my head and made me believe I wanted it. Sober me remembers drunk me feeling pretty good during the rape, even if I was struggling against him. Long story short, he convinced me to go out with him again. He was a truck driver and wasn’t in town for a few weeks at a time, so several weeks later we went out again. He was kind during the date. I dressed up a bit, another dress. Maybe I was asking for it? I’m sure y’all can figure out where this went.

I say this as you rape me while I cry….

-What if I was sitting there complaining about my trauma and telling you all of it…would you to tell me to shut up…? Would you pretend to care??

Or would you grab me, force me and give me even more trauma to “whine” about…?

I told my ex about my trauma and he also raped me after I told him so…it’s like I’m asking for it when I tell people my trauma I guess….

Just venting i suppose

Found myself right back where I started after my last post, in the hands of pretty much anyone who asked and I feel overall really gross about it and myself. Just talking about it turned me on more than anything has in a long time. Combine that with the fact that I haven’t done anything related to this stuff in over 8 months since I started dating my gf I just feel sick and tired. I guess I really am broken and only good for one thing

Original post

https://www.reddit.com/r/RapekinkOpen/s/l71otCreeI

the way he choked me nearly unconscious with his belt while he told me to just wait, i’d like it, after i begged him to stop

You met a guy online and chatted for a while.  You shared the same CnC kinks and finally agreed to meet at a hotel with the safeword 'willow'.

You get to the hotel and head straight to the room.  Your excitement builds as you knock on the door.  He opens the door and you step in.  He asks if this is really what you want.  You nod nervously and he tells you to lock the door reminding you that this is your choice. 

You lock the door.  As the lock clicks shut he grabs you by the throat taking you by surprise, you gasp for air dropping your bag as he drags you to the bed.  He climbs on top of you, his knee pushes your skirt up exposing your panties.  You try to push him back but he keeps you pinned down ripping your top open.  You gasp in excitement as he tears your panties exposing your wet pussy.

His cock slides into your pussy as you buck your hips playfully trying to resist him.  You hit out at his arms and shoulders, but he grabs your wrists holding them above your head as he aggressively thrusts into your wet hole. 

He takes his cock out, leaving your pussy wanting more.  He flips you onto your front, pushing your ass cheeks apart with his thumbs he puts the tip of his cock on your asshole.  The fear excites you, but you did agree that anal was a hard limit.  "Wait, not there" you plead as you turn to see his sadistic grin.  The game making you wetter.  He slowly pushes the tip of his cock into your ass.  You realise he's really going to do this.  You struggle to get away "willow, willow, please stop" you cry as you struggle forward, but he grabs your hair holding you in place as his cock slides painfully into your ass.  You struggle harder but it pulls on your ass making it hurt more.

He thrusts harder and faster ignoring your safeword.  Your head pulls back as you try to struggle away.  You sob "willow" in desperation, but he doesn't stop.

He pulls out of your ass and drags you off the bed by your hair leaving you on your knees.  You look up at him with tears running down your cheeks.  "Willow" you sob at him.  He puts his hand on the back of your head pushing it towards his cock.  It slides into your unwilling mouth, yet you feel powerless to resist.  He holds your head in place fucking your mouth as you sob.  He finally cums in your mouth shooting his load to the back of your throat forcing you to swallow it as a reflex action. 

As he pulls his cock from your mouth you feel a little relieved that it's over.  You sit on the floor in your torn panties, the taste of cum in your mouth and your pussy embarrassingly wet.  He takes hold of your wrist holding it up.  You think he's going to help you up, it must have all been a mistake.  You feel metal on your wrist, he lowers your arm and you see him handcuff your wrist to the radiator.  You whimper "willow" as you realise that it isn't over.

You wake in the morning having slept on the floor with your wrist still chained to the radiator and the taste of cum still on your lips.  You look over to see him step out of the bathroom drying himself as if nothing was wrong.

He asks you if you want to use the bathroom.  You nod, unable to articulate an answer.  "Just the bathroom" he says.  "Nowhere else"

You finish in the bathroom and come into the bedroom.  You try to protect your modesty by covering your tits and pussy.

He looks at you with amusement.  "Pick a hole" he says to you without and explanation.

Confused and shocked you look at him.  "I'm taking almost all of your choices away, but here I am.  Giving you a choice"

You don't know what to say and remain silent.  After a few moments he just says "Ass it is"  then he grabs you by the throat and pushes you on the bed.  He flips you onto your front prising your cheeks apart with his hands, "mouth" you cry.  You beg him to fuck your mouth and spare your ass.

He pushes his cock into your open, unwilling mouth.  Taking hold of the back of your head to hold you in place.  Each thrust pushing to the back of your throat making you want to gag.  You cry out through his cock but it only makes him thrust harder.  He moans with pleasure as he shoots his cum into your throat.  You moan in defeat and humiliation as he pumps the last few drops of cum onto your tongue. 

He steps back and begins to dress himself.  He does seem both notice the tears of shame running down your cheek.

He tosses you a plain tracksuit which he tells you to put on.  You obey, having no willpower left to resist.  He takes you out of the hotel through the fire escape to a side road where he ushers you into the back of a van. 

He ties your wrists, binding them to the inside of the van and puts a gag in your mouth.  "We're going to have so much fun" he says as he strokes your cheek.  Then he gets behind the driver's seat and starts the engine.

After a long drive the van stops.  The back doors open.  It's dark outside.  He takes you out of the van.  The surrounding countryside is very hilly.  There's a single road and only one house that's partly built into a hill.

He leads you towards the house by your bonds.  You pull back slightly, not wanting to go inside.  Effortlessly he keeps heading towards the house pulling you with him.  He takes you in the front door, locking it behind him.  He takes the gag from your mouth.  You start to form the words to beg him to let you go, but he puts a finger to your lips.  He unties your bonds and steps back.  "Strip" he tells you.  You look to the door and shake your head.  You manage to utter "please, no"

"Strip" he repeats firmly.  You step back slowly shaking your head and half mumbling a "please"

He lunged forward pushing you back.  He trips you and you fall to the floor.  He straddles your body pulling your top off you despite your desperately flailing arms.  He pins your wrists above your head roughly groping your tits.  You can feel his hard cock pressing into you through his clothes.  He forces you onto your front, holding you down with one hand he pulls your trousers off and straddles you again.  This time you can feel his cock pressing between your ass cheeks.  "Please not my ass again"  you sob.  "I just want to go home"

"You are home"  he calmly replies as the tip of his cock presses against your asshole.  You whimper and try to struggle.  He grips your hips, lifting your waist up.  He rubs his cock down your ass and thrusts it into your pussy.  You moan with a mixture of pleasure, fear and relief that your ass isn't being violated again.

He pounds your wet pussy holding your hips in place.  You try to pull away from him, but he keeps you held in place as he continues to thrust his cock into you.  Despite your unwillingness you feel like you could cum.  You beg him to stop, feeling humiliated by your arousal.  You feel his fingers grip you as his pace quickens.  His cock pounding deeper into you.  You cry "oh no, no" as you cum.  Your body weakens with the mixed sensation.  He exhales loudly as he cums inside your pussy.  He pulls out leaving you to slump on the floor like a rag doll.

He gives you a few moments and then he lifts you up by your arm.  Your body is numb and your mind is in a daze.  He says something about getting you to your room. 

Your room.  That thought takes a few moments to settle in.  He leads you a short way through the house.  This part must be inside the hill.  You start to sob.

He ushers you into a simple room.  There's a bed and a table.  A door leads to what looks like a bathroom.  He sits you on the bed.  You whimper through your tears "please let me go"  you look up at him "please?" 

He smiles warmly at you.  "Why would I want to do that?"  He runs his fingers down your neck and onto your tit.  You both notice, to your shame, that your nipples are hard.  He walks out of the room shutting the door, leaving you naked on the bed.

A day or two pass.  You are fed, but kept in confinement.  He is the only human interaction you have.

The door opens and he steps inside the room.  You're wearing a simple tracksuit, but he always tells you to remove it.  He places a bag on the floor.  You stand when he enters and you begin instinctively to undress.  He smiles and simply says "Good girl, you're learning."

You stand naked in front of him.  You don't even try to cover yourself.  He tells you to get on all fours.  Your initial instinct is to resist, but you feel compelled to.  Trembling you get onto all fours.  You're ashamed by your willingness to comply.  "Legs apart"  he commands "this should be effortless for me".

You open your legs without resistance.  Your compliance excites you making your pussy wet.  You moan with a mixture of arousal and shame.

He takes hold of your hips and slides his cock into your pussy.  You moan as he fucks your wet hole.  "Will you ever let me go?" You ask.

"When you give birth" he replies.

You panic and try to pull away.  You beg him not to.

He grips your ass forcing you onto his cock as you try to pull away.  You start to cry, knowing what could happen.  You lower your chest to the floor and start to pull away. 

He releases his grip on your hips and grabs your hair jerking your head back.  He pulls on your hair, lifting your chest and arms up.  Your position forces you back onto his cock.  His pounding pushes you away with each thrust, but his grip on your hair pulls you back.  "No, please" you beg him to stop as you try to squirm away. 

He puts a hand on your throat pushing your head to his.  As his cock pounds inside you, he groans holding you in place as he cums inside you.  He releases you and you fall sobbing to the floor.

As you lie on the ground with his cum in your pussy he takes some tape from his bag.  Before you can move he wraps the tape around your legs, binding them together.  He's trying to stop his cum from coming out.  You cry, begging him not to do this.  You try to take the tape off, but he grips your wrists.  As you struggle he binds your arms behind your back.

He stands and walks to the door leaving you to desperately struggle to get his cum out of your wet pussy.  "Not like this" you sob as he closes the door.

am i a lesbian

idk i always knew i liked girls but i’ve grown up w like a really problematic family background where family members/care givers repeatedly will cross physical and emotional boundaries and i would be treated like the problem for defending myself or “acting out” against inappropriate behavior.. anyhow i grew up and i immediately got into cnc.. actually i found out i was into it as soon as i saw it on the internet basically. but the thing is all of my fantasies with men revolve around cnc but with girls its more normal and vanilla and i just wanna kiss girls and make them feel good and also receive from girls as well ig.. but with men i only feel submissive and like i only want cnc with them. ig i want cnc with girls too but not as strongly like i can do normal stuff too.. but the thing is ik i can connect with girls super well dating wise and on an emotional level, and i’ve only ever really dated women and i feel like emotionally speaking i don’t feel much for men at all. i should mention i also present very femme and queer as well and i find men treat me a certain way bc of it. but anyhow i ended up baiting before i knew what baiting was and i ended up in a lot of risky situations with men and i ended up getting r4ped my first and second years in college lol. but idk im just confused ig.. bc both times i like enjoyed it in a fucked up sort of way but also i kinda hate men 🥲 and like girls r just so pretty and i like girls and girls r always so sweet and nice, but i also have these urges i guess to do not super great things with men, even tho i honestly haven’t engaged with them in a while, ill still lurk on spaces like this and read peoples stories and also my taste in porn and smut is questionable to say the least so yea i feel conflicted and confused, bc i feel like im a lesbian but with the stuff i do and the stuff i enjoy i feel like a bad feminist and a bad lesbian so maybe im just bisexual lol

so yea advice needed and kink origin maybe? i guess im curious abt what u guys think about my story

also this sounds fucked up but from a super young age i’ve engaged in baiting behaviors way way before i knew what it all meant and how problematic it all was lol

My girlfriend (we are both in our 50s btw) told me when she was about 20 she was sexually assaulted; and raped. This turned me on so much ... I tried to comfort her but my erection was so visible. Now when we fuck or I Jerk off I can only cum when I imagine her being raped. It'makes me so horny it hurts

She has a weakness for older men; and she confessed some of the older men she knows could really rape her, she would not even struggle. Needles to say I almost came when I head that.

She told me everything that guy did, what she had to do. It turns me on!

I knew her around that time too; and she was maybe asking for it. For me it does not matter. I would almost hope she gets assaaulted or raped soon. I suspect shes been fucking on the job, but thats not the same,.

I thought I met a lovely man on a dating app who i thought really liked me... turns out.. he took me to his apartment and forced himself in me. I was so scared I froze and didnt move... he pounded me relentlessly while I was bone dry, and I could feel myself slowly starting to bleed. I bleed for 14 days after...

I can't help but message fellow deviant perverts about how I want to be a public gang rape slut. I want random shit stuffed in my holes. I need to be used by the dirtiest cocks. I need the "me" we play with to be half-dead, infected, and tortured by the end. Ugh. Just describing forceful sex doesn't do it anymore.

I always have fantasies of this in my mind on a daily basis. Just turns me on at the idea of living with someone or being kidnapped and they just take me whenever they want. I’m tied down and ready to take you whenever you’re in need. Ugh.. 😩 when will it be my turn to finally experience this as crazy as it may seem / sound?

But I can’t help it. I get jealous and so turned on. I use their stories to get off to after they confide in me. I also feel so ugly and undesirable. It’s never happened to me. Not even once. Why does no one want me? Why don’t they try to take me? Why do I get so wet when I hear how a friends dad/brother/uncle/stranger abused them. But fuck! It is so hot.

Hey hello im a 18 year old female new here! Since my teenage years ive had a rape kink. Til this day I think myself im gross and hate myself for liking it. Everything i think about it I cant help but feel aroused. Im scared that if I find someone I fall inlove with ill scared them away with what I like. I feel insecure and weird because of it. For those who have relationships how do you manage it with your partner?

Yesterday I woke up so horny. I made myself cum 15 times. I couldn’t stop rubbing my clit. I was feeling like a whore. I sent picture of my body to everyone requested it and it was never enough. Today I made myself cum 8 times already. I feeling on the edge constantly. My clit is throbbing and I have to keep rubbing it even if it hurts me.

I came at the idea of being degraded, humiliated and raped. I asked an AI to degrade me. It’s pathetic. I should have stopped. I should have been abled to control myself but I couldn’t.

*English translation below*

J’ai presque 28 ans et je suis toujours vierge. Pourtant je ne peux pas m’empêcher de me faire jouir plusieurs fois par jour sur des fantasmes toujours plus extrêmes, comme le viol ou la misogynie.

Il y a quelques années, des souvenirs flous sont remontés à la surface d’un de mes professeurs qui m’aurait violée quand j’étais au collège.

Aujourd’hui chaque homme que je croise, mon cerveau finit par l’imaginer me violer et ça m’excite. Peu importe si je ne le crois qu’une minute ou si c’est quelqu’un de plus important (hors membre de ma famille).

Je ne sais pas vraiment si le fait d’avoir des fantasmes si extrêmes d’humiliation et des degradation, m’empêche d’avoir le courage de m’ouvrir aux autres et de dater. Mais en maintenant je n’arrive pas à jouir autrement que dans cette quête du toujours plus. Je ne sais plus quoi faire.

English :

I’m almost 28 and I’m still a virgin. Yet I can’t help but make myself come several times a day while fantasizing about increasingly extreme scenarios, like rape or misogyny.

A few years ago, vague memories resurfaced of one of my teachers who allegedly raped me when I was in middle school.

Now, every man I come across, my mind eventually imagines him raping me, and it turns me on. It doesn’t matter if I only saw him for a minute or if it’s someone more significant (other than a family member).

I’m not really sure if having such extreme fantasies of humiliation and degradation is what’s stopping me from having the courage to open up to others and date. But right now, I can’t climax any other way than through this quest for more and more. I don’t know what to do anymore.