am i a lesbian
am i a lesbian
idk i always knew i liked girls but i’ve grown up w like a really problematic family background where family members/care givers repeatedly will cross physical and emotional boundaries and i would be treated like the problem for defending myself or “acting out” against inappropriate behavior.. anyhow i grew up and i immediately got into cnc.. actually i found out i was into it as soon as i saw it on the internet basically. but the thing is all of my fantasies with men revolve around cnc but with girls its more normal and vanilla and i just wanna kiss girls and make them feel good and also receive from girls as well ig.. but with men i only feel submissive and like i only want cnc with them. ig i want cnc with girls too but not as strongly like i can do normal stuff too.. but the thing is ik i can connect with girls super well dating wise and on an emotional level, and i’ve only ever really dated women and i feel like emotionally speaking i don’t feel much for men at all. i should mention i also present very femme and queer as well and i find men treat me a certain way bc of it. but anyhow i ended up baiting before i knew what baiting was and i ended up in a lot of risky situations with men and i ended up getting r4ped my first and second years in college lol. but idk im just confused ig.. bc both times i like enjoyed it in a fucked up sort of way but also i kinda hate men 🥲 and like girls r just so pretty and i like girls and girls r always so sweet and nice, but i also have these urges i guess to do not super great things with men, even tho i honestly haven’t engaged with them in a while, ill still lurk on spaces like this and read peoples stories and also my taste in porn and smut is questionable to say the least so yea i feel conflicted and confused, bc i feel like im a lesbian but with the stuff i do and the stuff i enjoy i feel like a bad feminist and a bad lesbian so maybe im just bisexual lol
so yea advice needed and kink origin maybe? i guess im curious abt what u guys think about my story
also this sounds fucked up but from a super young age i’ve engaged in baiting behaviors way way before i knew what it all meant and how problematic it all was lol