Gang raped 8-years ago but hate I don't remember anything from it
8-years ago, I (F) was 20 at the time, my housemates (all three of them were guys) were having a house party and I was just in my room listening to Taylor Swift, really just keeping to myself.
I went out to the kitchen to grab a drink, the party was mostly guys, I only saw maybe a couple other girls but they were with their boyfriends.
Anyway, while I was at the kitchen, one of the guys who I didn't recognize cornered me and started chatting with me, asking where I was from (I'm from California but my parents are Indian) and flirting with me. Tbh, I'm naturally meek, shy and non-confrontational, nor did I want to offend, so yeah, I entertained him and chatted a little.
He then told me to take my drink and sit with him so I did. We continued chatting with me but after a while, I noticed I started feeling drowsy, trouble focusing and I was slurring my words.
I woke up the next morning, I was sore, my legs were wobbly, naked, my curling iron shoved in my vagina, my hair (both on my head and down there) were matted in cum, and dried cum covering my face and breasts. Someone took my sharpies and wrote things like "colonized" and "white man's whore" on my body, along with a few other racial slurs.
One of my housemates told me that yeah, I was gang raped by most of the guys at the party, plus a few others who showed up later.
Here's the thing though, I know it sounds fucked up, but what bothers me about this is not being gang raped but the fact I was blacked out and don't remember anything.
I kinda wish I was awake to feel and see it.