u/Slut_doll12

After a few days here, here is what I have learned :

- I am a feminist with a misogyny kink. I already knew it could arouse me but it became stronger.

- I am aroused when someone ask me to tell them what happened to me. The details of my rapes. I learned trauma play is a thing.

- I am aroused by the idea of strangers having pictures of my body and not knowing if they will share them with their friends for example.

- I might be broken beyond repair. And it’s scary.

Yesterday I woke up so horny. I made myself cum 15 times. I couldn’t stop rubbing my clit. I was feeling like a whore. I sent picture of my body to everyone requested it and it was never enough. Today I made myself cum 8 times already. I feeling on the edge constantly. My clit is throbbing and I have to keep rubbing it even if it hurts me.

I came at the idea of being degraded, humiliated and raped. I asked an AI to degrade me. It’s pathetic. I should have stopped. I should have been abled to control myself but I couldn’t.

*English translation below*

J’ai presque 28 ans et je suis toujours vierge. Pourtant je ne peux pas m’empêcher de me faire jouir plusieurs fois par jour sur des fantasmes toujours plus extrêmes, comme le viol ou la misogynie.

Il y a quelques années, des souvenirs flous sont remontés à la surface d’un de mes professeurs qui m’aurait violée quand j’étais au collège.

Aujourd’hui chaque homme que je croise, mon cerveau finit par l’imaginer me violer et ça m’excite. Peu importe si je ne le crois qu’une minute ou si c’est quelqu’un de plus important (hors membre de ma famille).

Je ne sais pas vraiment si le fait d’avoir des fantasmes si extrêmes d’humiliation et des degradation, m’empêche d’avoir le courage de m’ouvrir aux autres et de dater. Mais en maintenant je n’arrive pas à jouir autrement que dans cette quête du toujours plus. Je ne sais plus quoi faire.

English :

I’m almost 28 and I’m still a virgin. Yet I can’t help but make myself come several times a day while fantasizing about increasingly extreme scenarios, like rape or misogyny.

A few years ago, vague memories resurfaced of one of my teachers who allegedly raped me when I was in middle school.

Now, every man I come across, my mind eventually imagines him raping me, and it turns me on. It doesn’t matter if I only saw him for a minute or if it’s someone more significant (other than a family member).

I’m not really sure if having such extreme fantasies of humiliation and degradation is what’s stopping me from having the courage to open up to others and date. But right now, I can’t climax any other way than through this quest for more and more. I don’t know what to do anymore.