r/domspace

I’ve been looking at apps/tools for helping structure a D/s dynamic beyond just kink discovery.

So far I’ve come across:

• Obedience
• Spicer
• Sable One
• Couple Game / similar question apps

They all seem to do slightly different things. Some are more about kink discovery, some are more about tasks, protocols, journaling, rewards, or communication.

What I’m mainly looking for is something that:

• helps with consistency
• supports tasks/protocols
• doesn’t feel gimmicky after a week
• works for an ongoing dynamic, not just one-off play ideas
• feels private and secure

Has anyone used any of these long-term? Which ones actually hold up?

Like the titles states, how do you deal with bouts of depression when you're a dominant? My last relationship failed cos I was in this terrible bout of derpession and needed some time off from Domming, as I didn't feel like I could control my sub when my own mind was spiralling. This led to my sub feeling that I was no longer interested in her as I was not initiating scenes anymore and put off playing to a time when I was feeling better. It made her feel like I was not paying enough attention to her needs or that I was not interested in Domming her anymore. I tried to tell her it wasn't that, it was just me going through this bout of depression and I would soon be better like before (I've dealt with this for more than a decade now) but I guess it lasted a bit too long. We ended things as she said she didn't view me in that light anymore and just looked at me as friend now.

I feel as a Dom, I'm supposed to guide and lead and be the dominant one, and then when I get these drops in mental health, it makes me feel less dominant, less of a man, like I am not supposed to have this depressive episode when I call myself a Dominant. It really fucks with my mind and makes me feel like maybe I'm not supposed to call myself a Dom if I have mental health issues and I could never be a good Dom. Has any other Dom dealt with something like this, or any sub who had a Dom who dealt with this? If so, how did you deal with this or these thoughts?

Hi all! I am wondering basically just exactly what I wrote the title as 😅 I’m someone who is a soft sub leaning switch and something I’m convinced I’ll never be able to find in a dynamic is someone who can treat me the way I want to be treated, while also having a side to them that would allow me to explore prostate play/fingering/pegging… all of it.

I’d love to hear if y’all exist out there and how you incorporate it into your play, whether it be in a dominant way or a switchy way :)

Thank you for any responses in advance!! I am just sooooo curious!

We got a newborn at home, and I like the idea of free use. My wife is unsure and that's fine if she doesn't want to but now I'm just wondering about the structure and logistics of doing this.

Any creative suggestions?

Hey. How you didn't know where to go with this, so i'm here. I'm , you know , poly relationship with two wonderful women. I honestly thought that I was going to be the sub in this relationship. It turns out, though, that one's definitely a sub, even though she says she's a switch. The other is a switch leaning sub. I'm kind of forced into being the dom most of the time. Does anyone else just get tired of being in control? I can do it if need be, but I'm getting tired of being in control all the time. Even outside the bedroom, I have to take charge. Does anyone know any tips or tricks to help? If you need more details let me know. I know I'm being vague to protect identities.

Do as the title suggests I'm neurodivergent and sort of practice the lifestyle currently. What I'm struggling with is the reading of social cues Any help with this is greatly appreciated. To be honest if you are Nuerospicy can you please help with any advice that has helped you during the Dom/Sub dynamic

Started a new relationship with a woman who like the daddy/dom dynamic. She has brought it to my attention that she doesn't like male ejaculate.... but really wants to learn to like it. Is there any type of edible food thing I can make that taste like cum. Somthing she can pretend is, to slowly transition...

I know weird question....

Hey everyone. I’m in my first long term intense d/s relationship. My sub is also my life partner and the person I intend to marry. I’m having a lot of trouble moving past this intense jealousy I feel for the past doms in her life. I’ve never been the jealous types in relationships but thinking about someone else having this kind of intimacy with my sub is really getting to me. Any advice on how to turn this emotion around or make it fun?

I sat down with my sub (wife) on Saturday we went over the contract, minimal negotiation but all is agreed upon. We just need to print the official copy and sign. We had our first scene Saturday and before I even touched her she was craving it.

23F dating a 22F for about 3 months, we’ve started becoming sexual and she opened up about being into BDSM. I already knew about it vaguely since she’s into puppy aspects, like wearing a subtle collar in public and a play collar when with me, and liking to be called Pup or making dog noises when excited. She’s only ever had Doms online, is a virgin/has never had an irl relationship but has had plenty of sexual experiences online whether through sexting or webcam stuff, and her most recent Dom treated her pretty bad.

We’re into pretty much the same things, and we started a reward/punishment system such as making sure she’s taking her meds/hygiene/exercising/etc. We have rules that we both agree to, and I let her voice opinions about the reward/punishment system to adjust them fairly. I try to avoid doing the things her last Dom did (monetary abuse like taking money, sexual punishments- except we do have one where if she orgasms/masturbates without permission she’ll have to write degrading terms on herself or take a cold shower, making her over-exercise, etc).

Some things I want tips for is how to act like a Dom outside of play, and how to actually enforce punishments without giving in. Also for any doms that like to be on bottom sometimes, how do you maintain the Dom aspect?