r/TopsAndBottoms

For me: you’re loved and cherished, but trim and file your fucking nails

What is a prostate exam like? I have one schedule next month and i dont know how long it takes, how invasive it is, how much they poke around in there? Will my primary doctor do the exam?

Hey yall,

Im pretty new to bottoming and I'm running into a frustrating issue. I absolutely love taking loads - the few times I've managed to actually take dick have been absolutely amazing and everything I hoped for. But the problem is getting to that point in the first place.

No matter how much lube I use (and I've tried a lot), I find myself involuntarily clenching up and essentially "running away" from the dick. It's like my body has a mind of its own and rejects penetration even though I really want it. I've tried relaxing, breathing, different positions, but the moment things start getting serious, my muscles tense up and it becomes painful or impossible.

The frustrating part is that when I have managed to push through and actually take it, the experience has been incredible

For those of you who were once new bottoms, how did you get past this mental/physical disconnect? How do you train your body to relax and accept what your mind wants? I'm getting frustrated because I love taking loads when I can manage it, but my body fights me most of the time.

Any specific techniques, positions, or training methods that helped you push through this initial resistance? Did it just take time and practice? I

Thanks in advance for any advice!

I get really turned on when I’m fucking my bf and his hole starts to “talk”,(yes I know it’s just air lol, it’s still hot to me ) it’s happened a few times but id like it to happen more, he’s also turned on by it, is there a specific way I’ve gotta fuck? Maybe more lube/ spit? Or is it like a strokes kinda thing. For reference I’m 7 inches in length and 6 inches in girth

As a bottom I keep wanting dick all the time. After I have, it goes away for a while, but then I start craving it again and have to go looking for more

It's been almost a day since I had bent myself down for a very tall and strong Jamaican footballer youth who literally had a whale of a dick. Almost the length of my elbow to palm and thicker than the largest Pringles can, it was a truly horse hung BBC. I can share a few pics as well, just reach out to me in dms

Moreover the force and speed of his pounding was quite intense as well. As he neared climax, he had grown quite aggressive and was just slamming his cock balls deep into me with wild like strength.

I just want to know if any aftercare routine for such situations exist. My hole is still twitching and painful and swollen and warm.

Even the back of my throat kinda feels sore after the deep throating sessions.

Now for details, I'm a 6"4 275 pound muscular man (got somewhat of a Musclebear/powerlifter build). Despite it all most guys wanna get topped by me instead of topping me. Is it really that much of a turn off?

Asking because I tend to stay hard (typically) when I’m faced with a big dick in front of me. The thing is, it doesn’t really happens when I use toys, but only when I’m servicing a real dick.

I'm genuinely curious as a bottom, do you like your boys to come pre stretched with a toy or plug? Or do you like to be the one to stretch his hole out so it perfectly grips your cock?

Genuine question. Not that I'm complaining about a bottom's orgasms. I love them. But it seems like the more you fill them up the more they go into heat. Is there any way for a bottom to reach a point of not craving cock all the time? Is that even a thing? Do I need to fuck him harder?

What are your favorite and least favorite positions? My bf and I enjoy missionary the most - it turns me on so much when he wraps his legs around me to pull me in deeper. I like when he locks his legs as I'm cumming so I can't pull out (not that I ever would lol). My dick curves upwards so it stimulates his prostate well in that position.

I really am not a huge fan of cowgirl. I find the sensation less pronounced and sometimes I get mild rug burn from my pubes. My bf likes it because he can stretch himself out before I really pound him.

Since we stopped using condoms, I've also really liked fucking him while spooning/cuddling, though that's usually for more lazy sex.

Hi I was wondering if anyone experiencing the same thing. I tend to stay soft and even shrink a little when I’m bottoming. I get self conscious because I’m really enjoying myself and want to show that.

I do however get rock hard when I have something in my mouth. Anyone experience this?

Back when I would top and occasionally now with groups I see a bottom whose hole has clearly been used. It’s shaped differently and swollen.I think it’s so beautiful. How did you get there? Over the past couple years I’ve been pretty active but I don’t see any of that happening.

This view is not a popular one but I'm curious if there are like-minded Tops and Bottoms and what they think.

It's a beautiful thing when a top and bottom are complete opposites of each other and fill traditional gender roles and masc/fem energies.  Especially in a physical sense. As a Top I'm strong, muscular, hairy, rugged.  My 'manhood' is what I contribute. My dick, my seed, my virility. My bottom on the other hand is slim, smooth, soft, curvy. He only offers his holes. He's submissive and breedable...fertile. 

Over time, he completely relinquishes his masculinity in favor of mine. He feels zero need for his cock. He learns that only mine exists.  Embraces only pleasing and being pleased through his holes. When nurtured right, his body becomes addicted to my cum, and he craves it to feel complete. while I demand sex, his cravings and addiction, his desire is what fuels our sexual encounters.

Any others identify with this?

I’m a straight man that loves my ass played with and I also enjoy playing with cock. How do I give subtle hints to others that I want to be played with? I want a fwb.

i will add unnecesary detail because maybe some of you are into this stuff:

Me: 22 M bottom 171 cm

Him: 23 M vers-top 190 cm

I have a friend who's always trying to stand out from the rest of my friends.

Whenever he sees me taking photos with friends who aren't him, he insults them and calls them idiots.

If they're guys, he tells me they probably want to get with me and that he's the only real one because he's not into me.

Sometimes he's actually right about warning me about some jerk, but most of the time he's just annoying.

For example, I have a friend with benefits. This friend once told me that he doesn't usually like guys like me (kinda short and geeky vibes), that he's usually more into tall, super masc guys like him, but that I was the exception.

Today he reminded me of what he said (because I told him at the time), and in his words he said: "I'm not like that friend of yours who said you're an anomaly and 'your type.' He's got that disguised racist prejudice going on and you let that macho guy walk all over you."

So two options, he really doesn t remember my words or he just trying to change how i see things....

In case anyone think anything, no, as far as I know he isn t attracted to me or the other way around, we had a big problem back in 2022 because i had a crush on him when we almost stopped being friends.

Last year we were talking about going on one of those saunas together and that was it, we never did.

I just feel he is being clingy or he has this self given protector role.

But any opinions on you guys having similar friends would help.

Nothing makes me feel like less of a man than bottoming, but I don't see that as a bad thing. Getting fucked is that one space in my life where I get to just hang my masculinity up at the door or whatever and really let go of all of the societal pressures that come with being a man. It's just such a freeing and empowering experience for me.

Again, I really don't see this as a bad thing. I don't think getting fucked makes me a lesser person or anything like that, it just allows me to embrace my feminine side and realise that masculinity is only a part of my overall identity. Do any bottoms feel the same?

Tops: do you also think bottoming is emasculating?

Context: We have agreed in a new way to live and it's that the womens would live in the east side of earth and male on the west, they only would get together to path reproduction as a way to keep human race existing.

Because everyone all of the sudden lost all interest in straight sexual necessities.

Being that said, the male part of the world is being ruled by gay mens, but considering how we humans are and how many mens treat sex as a part of establishing dominance, they have decided for bottoms to be silently oppressed, just like old times.

How would these laws affect us bottoms? To make tops feel more in power?

Fun fact: being versa/inter would be an act of rebellion and could be considered a crime.

I listen to a queer internet radio station: JOY Media. Last week, they had an interview with an expert about douching and anal health. She sounds very knowledgeable, and she goes into a bit of detail about what to do — and what not to do.

I thought the men here might be interested, seeing as this is such a common question!