There are times she is kneeling out of obedience, reverence and respect.
Those are the times it is okay to stand above her.
But when she is kneeling because the weight of the world is just too heavy to bear …
That is when you should be kneeling beside her.
Recently there has been an influx of subs struggling with the stresses of life. If you're feeling overwhelmed, this story is for you.
I know what you're going through. The mental load, the stresses of life, things piling up on top of each other while you're underneath the weight of it all. The pressure is intense, and soon everything about you is compressed. There's no space to act, no space to breathe, no space for you. It's not fair. There are moments when you think about what you need, about the relief you seek, but then the pressure returns. There's nothing left for yourself.
It's okay. You're dealing with a lot. I'm proud of you for trying so hard. You work hard, the mental load is intense, and you're doing what you need to. But now it's time to take care of yourself. It's time for you to be the priority. You have my permission to breathe. It's okay, the work can wait. The world can endure without you for a moment. You're important. Your needs matter. Let's focus on those.
I want you to stop what you're doing, find a quiet place, and sit in peace. Mute the notifications, tell the world to leave you alone, and just sit. Breathe. Feel the motion of your chest, the coolness of the air in your lungs. Feel the support beneath your body that holds you in place. The weight you feel is going to that support. Let it hold you. You don't have to carry anything right now.
Start at the top of your head and be one with your body. Feel the sensations in your scalp, your hair. Your face. Your neck. Look for tension. You have my permission to relax. Send the tension to the ground, it is not your burden to carry.
Feel the sensations in your back, your shoulders, your arms, your chest. You have my permission to relax. Send the tension to the ground.
Your stomach. Your hips. Your buttocks. Your thighs. Your calves. Your feet. All the tension. All the pain. You have my permission to let it go. Send it down, to where you are supported. Send it away. It is not your burden to carry.
Return to your breath. In. Out. Feel the tension that you might have missed, the little things that like to hide. Breathe in. You have my permission to let them go. Send them out as you exhale.
You have space. You have time. You are the priority. You have made the intentional decision to focus on you. I am proud of you for doing so. You deserve this.
Now bring your attention to your body. To your most intimate place. The part of you that needs the most care. Allow yourself to feel that need. You have my permission to have needs. You have my permission to feel those needs, without guilt or shame. You're not needy for wanting something, you're human. That need is not a burden. You are not a burden. You have my permission to focus on it. To love yourself enough to know it's important. That you are important. Tell yourself, in your mind or out loud what that need is.
Tell yourself, in your mind or out loud, that you love yourself enough to meet that need. That you deserve it. That you are worthy of it.
Return to your breathing. In. Out. Feel the tension that you may feel. You have done a hard thing. It's not easy to identify what we need. Uncomfortable feelings hide behind our needs. You have my permission to let those feelings go. Breathe in, deep. Send those feelings out as you exhale.
Fill your mind with intention. Focus on your needs. Identity how you will address them. What self care looks like for you. You are so good at solving problems. This one is no different. You have my permission to solve this problem. Form a plan. You know yourself better than anyone. You know what you need to do.
You have my permission to take action. Enable your intention with activity, by taking a tangible step towards your plan. That step could be calling your partner to tell them what you need. It could be making a reservation, or adding a note to your calendar. It could be writing down your plan, or reaching out to your support network. Whatever it is, go do it. Take that first step. Demonstrate your commitment to yourself through action.
You have my permission.
The apartment felt quieter than it ever had, even with both of us sitting on the couch we’d picked out together last spring. She was curled into the corner, knees drawn up under one of my old hoodies, eyes red but steady. I sat facing her, our hands linked on the cushion between us like we were still afraid to let go completely.
“I love you,” I said, voice low and rough. “You know that.”
She nodded, squeezing my fingers. “I love you too, . That’s never been the problem.”
Her words hit different tonight soft, final, already slipping into memory. We talked for a long time. About how our lives were pulling in opposite directions: her wanting to travel, to chase the career that would keep her moving city to city; me wanting family, a home base, the kind of stability I’d started craving after years of always being the strong one for her. We wanted different futures. And as much as we loved each other, forcing it felt unfair to both of us.
When the last words were said, I pulled her into my lap one final time and held her while she cried. She whispered
“Thank you for being my safe place” against my neck, and I kissed her hair and told her she’d always be my good girl, even if I couldn’t say it out loud anymore.
The next morning I helped her load the last boxes into her car. We stood in the driveway, foreheads pressed together, breathing the same air for one last minute. Then she was gone.
The weeks that followed moved in slow, gray stretches.
I’d wake up reaching for her side of the bed before remembering it was empty. At the gym I’d catch myself scanning for her favorite playlist on my phone. Cooking dinner alone felt wrong without her stealing bites from the spoon or dancing behind me while the sauce simmered. Every night I’d pick up my phone, thumb hovering over her name, wanting to ask if she’d landed safely in the new city or if she’d tried that little café she kept talking about. I’d type
“Hey baby, just checking in…” and delete it before I could send. She deserved the space to grow without me holding on.
Across the miles, I know she did the same.
She told me once, in a voice note she never sent, that she still knelt sometimes at night just to feel grounded. That she’d see something funny and start typing a message to me before stopping herself. She hoped I was sleeping better. She hoped I was happy. She still called me Sir in her head when the world felt too heavy, even though she knew she shouldn’t.
She posted pictures from new cities, smiling brighter each time. We both kept living.
But some nights, when the rain hits the window just right or a certain song comes on, I still feel her head on my chest. I still hear her soft “Yes, Sir” in my mind and smile even while my heart aches.
We loved each other enough to let go.
And somewhere out there, I hope she’s thriving my beautiful, brave girl chasing the life she deserves. I hope she knows I’m doing the same, carrying the best parts of us with me every single day.
I never sent the text.
But I think of her every time I almost do.
I’ve always felt like sub/dom dynamics are more so reserved for petite women (nothing against petite women in any way, I love all my sisters!)
Lately I’ve been wondering if there are any other women on here who are different shapes and sizes and colours, taller, shorter, chubbier etc, since I haven’t really seen much diversity within this dynamic.
I guess I’m just curious, I’ve always been a little bit curvier, and wanted to know if any women on here are like me :)
So, I've had kind of a week. Nothing too horrible--it's just been stressful and I haven't been sleeping well. I feel all my anxiety coiled up in my body. I feel like what would really benefit me, and what I really need, is to have my brain blasted into the next galaxy with orgasms and praise.
But of course, stress is doing what it does best and is just being a total libido killer. I just cannot muster any desire to touch and be touched, even though I do think it's what I need! And my partner would love me to muster it, even though (for the record) he's not putting any pressure on me to do so and would rather wait until I want it as much as he does. And I want to want it.
So my question--and I guess I'm asking generally, but especially through the lens of being in a soft pleasure-focused D/s relationship--how do you get into the mood when you want to be, but you're just not?
(I feel like I have asked this before, across the internet. It's the eternal puzzle of my sex/kink life, lol.)
Please please please know that everything I want to do, I want to do safely and consensually. I want to use the appropriate safe words and I don’t want to hurt anyone. If this woman uses her safe word at any time, I HAVE to stop or slow down, depending on the word. Here goes:
I (32m) usually date high achieving and very stressed out women in NYC. I have this fantasy where a very beautiful and stressed out woman shows up in a sundress at my apartment door. We say nothing. We kiss on the mouth very deeply. I carry her on my shoulders to my room and lock the door. I throw her on the bed and bind her hands, whether she’s willing or not, sundress still on. I tell her there’s no escape. I get behind her in a spooning position. I kiss her neck and the back of her head. I whisper into her ear that she’s mine today and remind her that she has no choice in what’s about to happen. Then the fun begins.
I take my hands and make my way down her body. I massage her neck and shoulders, then I play with her breasts under her sundress and stay there for a little. I cup them and play with her nipples. Once I’m done I make my way with one hand down to her stomach while keeping the other playing with a breast. I tell her how beautiful she is while I’m on her stomach. Then slowly, I make my way down to between her legs under her panties. I massage the outside of her vulva for a good while. As I do this, I kiss her neck, bite her shoulders, breathe into her ear, and fondle her breasts with the other hand.
I ask her if she’s gonna be a good girl, then I remind her that she can’t cum without my permission. With the hand that’s in between her legs, I slowly make my way to every part of her that is not her clit. Only when enough time has passed do I start playing with her clit. Then I grab a powerful wand vibrator. I rip her panties with my hands. I place the head of the wand vibrator on her vulva in the lowest setting. Again, she’s tied up and can’t move. I don’t care how much she squirms or tries to break free, she’s not going anywhere. I put my muscular arm around her neck and remind her that she’s my captive and has no choice but to sit here and endure what’s about to happen.
As time goes on, I gradually increase the strength of the vibrator. She begs to cum at a certain point. Only when I’m satisfied that she’s been tortured for long enough do I allow her to cum. When she does I tell her she can climax as much as she wants. But the vibrator doesn’t stop. No matter how much she screams and cries and begs, I keep the pressure on. She then cums time after time. Only when she’s cum a sufficient number of times do I stop. If she ever asks to stop, I say, then why are you still cumming? I want to leave her a sweating, drooling, wet mess.
After I’m satisfied that she’s cum enough times, I untie her and remove her dress and take off my clothes. We begin to make passionate love. I tell her what a good girl she was. At some point, I want to finish like this: I want her to take my thick cock in missionary with her legs on my shoulders. I want to fuck her slowly and passionately and speed up as time goes on. I want to finish inside her as I stare into her eyes and tell her she’s mine.
After that, we cuddle. To be honest, my motivation for working out my shoulders has been to get them wide enough that someone relatively petite can be almost surrounded by muscle. As we cuddle, again, I tell her how good she did and how she deserved all the pleasure that tonight brought.
At a certain point, I want to make us sandwiches or eat some of my meal prep; maybe make us some matcha. Something. I just wanna have a cozy evening after all that.
I hope y’all enjoyed 😊
Hey, this is my introduction I guess lol. I just came across this sub randomly and felt like I found home in a way. so a bit about me; I'm 22M, kink has been a core aspect of my life for as long as I can remember, I realised very early on that being in control wasn't something I merely enjoyed but needed in a relationship. To me kink is the missing link in every relationship, the thing that prevents a relationship from becoming stagnant, the thing that makes every aspect of a relationship more in every way.
my identity as a soft pleasure dom however took longer to establish. I spent years experimenting with both sides of the spectrum yet I always fell back on the soft pleasure dom side of myself that felt like soo much more of me than any other dom identity that id try. the feeling of providing a sub with a safe space where they can be who they want to be, not keep up the facade that they soo often need to infront of the world, a space where they can retreat to when everything becomes too much, watching them grow, heal and turn into better versions of themselves is perhaps the most rewarding thing a dom can ever feel.
now finally the soft and pleasure side of me being a dom, the soft side became apparent as I realised that the space I just described is a space where I want my sub to know they are cared for, through my actions and my words, however I understand the need and time to turn from being soft to becoming firm yet at my core I truly believe myself to be a soft Dom. Now the pleasure aspect of it all, something about providing pleasure to another person, to my sub is often how I get pleasure myself, making them feel good, seeing it, hearing it, it culminates in a feeling indescribable, its almost a need for me, a need to not only tell my sub they are wanted but make them feel it, constantly.
now a few other sides to me, I can be possesive and hate the idea of sharing, I am curious beyond measure and love seeing what's mine. outside of kink, I love to read, writing however always wins out in the end which leads to me being incredibly descriptive, I love cinema and everything to do with it, and a good swim. since I love knowing who im talking to I can only expect to offer the same so, visually im 6ft, bearded, incredible hair lol, big hands and wide shoulders.
ikik this was quite long, much longer than I had initially planned it to be but you only ever get to introduce yourself once, and I didnt want to waste the opportunity, I will end this by saying I'm still growing and learning as a dom because I truly believe no one is ever fully complete especially in kink however this identity of mine is the bedrock upon which all that growth is happening. so hi all of you, I hope to get to know some of you more and become a part of this community.