Effort Mismatch: Starting to feel resentful
Looking for perspective.
I’m trying to figure out if I’m off base here or if others have gone through something similar.
Over the past couple years, I’ve put a lot of effort into improving myself and our relationship. I got my hormones checked and started TRT under medical supervision, worked on my physical health, and even went to therapy to deal with my own issues and patterns.
I don’t regret any of that, it’s been good for me overall. But if I’m being honest, I think part of me hoped it would also help improve our intimacy.
The problem is…I’m not really seeing any change on that front. If anything, I’m starting to feel more sexually frustrated and, lately, a bit resentful. And I don’t like feeling that way.
We have kids, and I completely understand how much that impacts energy, hormones, mental load, etc. I try to be patient and supportive because of that. But at the same time, it’s starting to feel like I’m the only one actively trying to move things forward.
I don’t want to turn this into scorekeeping or pressure her, that’s not the kind of husband I want to be. But I also don’t want to ignore how I’m feeling and let resentment build.
Has anyone else been in a situation where you did a lot of work on yourself, but your partner didn’t seem to meet you halfway? How did you handle it without damaging the relationship?
Not looking to bash my wife, I’m just trying to understand what a healthy way forward looks like.