u/Kindly-Quarter-5870

A friend whom I hadn’t heard from for a few years reached out suddenly in the morning. Super friendly, we exchanged a few messages. But the conversation slowed down and she stopped answering.

A few minutes later she wrote a desperate sounding message about how she needs 25 dollars and if I could send it to her. Mentioned how bad she feels about it and how she’d repay me next month. I took it at face value. I never expect people to pay me back in these situations so I told her not to worry about paying back. As soon as I sent the money and confirmed it she stopped answering again.

A while later she writes again like normal. Again very interested in catching up and talking. But the same thing happens again: the conversation slows down and she suddenly stops answering. And again, a few minutes later she sends me almost exactly the same message she sent me before about how she needs money but this time she’s asking for 50 dollars.

All of this happened maybe in the span of 2 hours.

Seeing the same pattern twice triggered some red flags on me and I remembered some friends who were addicted to meth sort of acted like that: they take a hit of the pipe, join the conversation enthusiastically, they crash relatively quickly and desperately look for the pipe for the next hit.

I hope I’m imagining things but I do feel worried and I don’t know how to approach (or if I should even approach it?). I have no contact with anyone from her circle of friends or family to ask if she’s ok.

I’m a 31 year old trans woman and I was thinking about the past few years and I suddenly realized something. Since the first time I tried 3mmc, my sexual preferences have done basically a 180. That first time I tried it started a chain reaction that changed almost everything about who I am in bed. Basically I just realised I have brainwashed myself into a submissive anal slut.

Before I tried 3mmc:

- I was a top

- Had relatively low libido

- Was convinced receiving anal was not for me

- A bit vanilla in kinks

- Masturbates multiple times per day

Now, after trying 3mmc:

- I’m a bottom. For “gooning” I’ll even wear a chastity cage and will fuck my ass for hours with a dildo.

- Very high libido. Constantly fantasises about people around me. I feel I’d be almost always willing to be fucked.

- can enjoy anal sober, and I’m addicted to it when I’m high. About every two weeks I’ll do 24 to 36 hours of 3mmc and anal play during the weekend.

- I’m now into CNC, free use, intox play.

- I completely lost interest on my dick. Touching it feels like a waste of effort for such a mediocre feeling when I could be lubing up and riding a dildo. It’s not that I dislike my dick now, but I feel it works better as a cute decoration that swings while I’m getting railed than something to use for my enjoyment:

The worst (or best?) part is that I’ve looked at myself. I’ve seen how pathetic I look locked in the bathroom when I’m “gooning”. High out of my mind, getting a dildo in and out of my ass while wearing a chastity cage. And I’ll stay like this for hours and hours. I see my self and I look pathetic, but seeing how pathetic I look turns me on even more. Almost like I’ve also developed a shaming kink?

Anyway I have no regrets. I’m a slut and a junkie and I think I’m ok with it for now?

I recently bought a Svakom Iker Neo hoping to get some hands free prostate stimulation but, I don’t know if I do something wrong, or this is just very weak and disappointing. I’ve basically shelved it and am back to using a regular dildo.

Does anyone have this toy? Does it work for you? Any tips? Should I just try a different one for hands free stimulation?

For many reasons I’ve always been pretty closed of and repressed when it comes to sex and sexuality. But since young I had signs that I was not fully “hetero”.

At some point in my life a guy that was flirting with me managed to convinced me to go home with him. Both of us were incredibly drunk and I had never been with a guy before. But still in my drunkness I remember just automatically getting on four assuming I’d be the bottom.

I don’t know what the fuck was wrong with the guy that took me but when he started to penetrate me it was the most painful and uncomfortable experience ever. Like it was so so bad it put me off receiving anal for YEARS. I convinced myself it was because I’m just not a bottom so I spent most of my adult sex life being a top with a very low libido.

A few years ago I discovered I’m trans and with that, also the idea of being a bottom still felt mildly attractive to me. But anytime I tried with toys or anything it just didn’t feel good… again convincing myself it’s just not for me.

A few months ago I came back from a party where I was doing 3mmc. I had plenty of it left after the party so I just kept doing it alone at home. In a very unhealthy fashion of course I started “gooning” but, at some point, i could feel my ass begging for something inside of it.

So I grabbed an old toy, filled it with lube and slowly started inserting it in. For some reason it was much easier to relax in this moment and very slowly but without any pain the toy went fully inside! First success! Felt a bit uncomfortable but nothing I couldn’t handle!

When I started playing with it a bit more (slowly pulling it out and pushing it back in) my brain just completely broke. I was feeling insane levels of pleasure and I couldn’t stop!

Since then every single time I went out and did stimulants, I made sure to save a good chunk to use at home to fuck myself with a dildo. Sometimes for hours! Now my dildo goes in very easily even when inserting it for the first time. Of course stimulants influenced it a lot but by exclusively using my ass and completely ignoring my dick, my libido increased exponentially and, specially while high, my interest to top dropped to 0.

I was worried this was a “turn gay when high” situation for a while but last week I happily discovered I’m now able to insert and enjoy my dildo while sober! And my libido is also way higher than before sober!

I know there would probably be healthier ways to figure this out. But I was so repressed sexually that I feel, personally, I would have never discovered this part of myself!

Wish I had started using drugs way younger now \s

I’m a trans woman but I haven’t come out at work, so all my coworkers only know me as a man.

I have a coworker with which I get relatively well so we hang out from time to time. Sometimes she brings her boyfriend and I can always tell he gets very visibly jealous when I’m with her. And funnily enough I do feel she is mildly attractive to me.

I wonder how they’d both feel if they knew I’m currently at home dressed cute, full fem, getting high and riding a dildo fantasising about him, not her 🤣🤤

Someday I swear I’ll invite him home for a “boys only” night. We both do drugs so he’s hornier and more flexible. I’d go change into the sexiest, skimpiest outfit I have and suck his dick all night 🤤

Aaargh a few hours ago I was drinking with both of them, same dynamic of him being a bit jealous. Now I’m here, dildo inside of me, high as fuck, picturing these scenarios 🤤