u/JLOHotwife

Hi, my hubby and I have had a dead bedroom for quite a few years.

We just don’t have the sexual spark anymore, which is probably mostly my fault. I keep thinking about my ex, and have every single time we’ve ever had sex.

My husband also recently told me that he used to watch his ex-girlfriend with their friend who was really well endowed. I can’t believe that, but that’s what started us on the hot wife discussion.

He really wants me to find a bull, should I believe him ?

I really want to know, any tips from any ladies who’ve been here ?

Hi, I’m not sure how to really ask this so I’ll just try to do the best I can. I’ve been sitting on these feelings for a long time and it’s getting harder to keep them inside.

Our bedroom has become pretty much dead over the last couple years, mainly because my husband’s size doesn’t compare to my ex. I love my husband so much. He’s my best friend and I can’t imagine my life without him. But this one thing is slowly breaking both of us.

I haven’t had a lot of lovers before him, but my ex was very large and very thick. I guess he turned me into a bit of a size queen, and I hate admitting that. When we were dating, I have to admit I kind of faked it a bit, and I feel terrible about that now. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. I thought my body would eventually adjust to his more average smaller size. He’s like 6 inches, which is nice in its own way, but I just can’t reach a climax when we have sex no matter how hard I try or how much I want to.

When we’re intimate, he still gets me really horny and I desperately want to finish like every other woman, but something’s always missing. He can’t reach the spots I need, and I never get that deep, stretched, full feeling. It leaves me so frustrated and disappointed, and then the guilt hits me even harder because I know he can sense it.

I recently found some hotwife searches on his computer, and instead of being upset, it’s made me incredibly curious and honestly a little scared. Ever since my ex, not that I want anything emotional with him ever again, the sex was just so intense and amazing. I felt so feminine and desired in a way I haven’t with my husband. My husband is a strong, masculine, regular manly man who I love deeply, but physically it’s different. With my ex, I needed both hands stacked on top of each other just to go down on him, my fingers couldn’t even touch. With my husband, it only takes one hand and my fingers easily meet. I know saying that out loud makes me sound shallow and awful.

Has any other woman ever felt this way? The mix of loving your husband with all your heart but feeling like your body is craving something he can’t give?

My husband has told me that he once watched his ex with a black guy and really liked it, and I think he’s gently hinting that he might want to watch me too, especially since we barely have sex anymore. He even said he’d be okay if I found a sex boyfriend (a bull, I guess) as long as he could watch. That confession has me so turned on I can barely think straight, but it also terrifies me. What if this changes everything between us?

Does anybody have any advice on how to pick the right bull and how to find someone online safely? I’ve looked a little, but so many guys come across as creeps and it makes me nervous.

Have any of you ladies ever been in the same position where your husband started hinting at you becoming a hotwife? Did it feel like cheating at first, even if he was encouraging it?

Has anybody been through the emotional turmoil of deeply loving your husband but no longer loving or even wanting sex with him? I feel so guilty for even thinking that.

I keep wondering. Will he end up hating me or resenting me afterward? Or will he actually enjoy watching? Has anyone watched their spouse have sex with someone else? And if a well endowed guy makes me orgasm multiple times like my ex used to, how did that make your husband feel? Did it bring you closer, or did it create problems?

I’m scared but also hopeful. Any real stories or gentle advice from wives who’ve been through something similar would mean the world to me right now.

Thank you so much for reading this.