u/Hot_Biscotti_2418

This seems like it's going to be a long one, so buckle up. I finally re-confessed my feelings to my Princess last night. It went… not great. As I sit here writing this, I’m at work actively trying to hold back tears. But let me go back a couple of days just to paint the whole picture.

Last Friday, April 11th, my Princess went on a girls' trip. She was set to return home early Monday morning. I was home alone all weekend and had my daughter at home with me. As a 10+ year chastity enthusiast, the first thing I planned on doing after she left was locking up. I’ve been dabbling in the kink again, and for a whole weekend, I was going to be attentive at home with my daughter and a bit of a horny mess at night. Now, let me be the first to say, it does feel strange being around her with the chastity on. She's only a toddler, but at times, it does cross my mind that my sexual desires may impact her. That makes me feel guilty, but I pressed on.

Friday night, I texted my Princess and let her know that I was wearing the chastity. Having stints of playing with it in the past, she understood all that meant. Her response was as expected: “Hey, I’m on a girls' trip, so I won't have time to entertain you, but you should keep it on.” Perfect! She knows what I’m doing, and she wants me to keep wearing it! Maybe she wants me to be thinking about her? Maybe she doesn’t want me masturbating while she's gone? I don’t care! She told me to keep it on! I felt on top of the world.

There was no mention of the cage for the entirety of her girls’ trip. In fact, I had gotten to thinking that she had either forgotten about it or hoped that I had gotten over it and taken it off. Truth is, I had it on the entire time, and I think she wished I had taken it off. It was now Monday night. She got home from her trip and recovery napped for half of the day. That night, after the kiddo went to sleep, I just flashed her a quick glimpse of the top of the cage. Just wanted (naively) to remind her that I was still wearing it in case she had forgotten. I don’t remember exactly what she did or said, but it was along the lines of an eye roll and “really?” Then, I wanted to show her something. I posted on Reddit about freezing my chastity key into an ice cube this weekend. I thought, “Why not show her the ice cube? Then she will know that I am serious about this and that I have stayed true to her.”

So I did exactly that. I grabbed it out of the freezer and walked over to her as it melted around my fingers.

“I want to show you something,” I told her. Whilst I held the ice cube in the air.

She looked at it, confused. I don’t think she had even the slightest clue why I wanted to show her some ice. So, I turned it around and showed her the side where the key was most clearly visible. That's when I realized things were not going to plan.

“Why are you crazy?” she said without a hint of interest.

“I don’t know. I’ve seen it online, and it seemed like a good way to handle the key while you were gone.”

And that was the end of that conversation, as I remember it. Was more said? Possibly. If it was, my brain wasn’t able to process it due to the mixture of shame and confusion I was feeling. I put it back in the freezer and went to the bathroom. I just sat in there and stared off into the distance as I tried to break down what I had just experienced. She did not seem excited. She seemed genuinely shocked. Maybe even upset. Why are you crazy?

Looking back on this, it seems obvious that I should’ve slammed on the brakes right then. Instead, I clung to hope and was likely in denial. I was contacted by a friend to play video games and ended up doing that for the rest of the night. Slept in my cage and wore it to work the next day. At work, I wrote my post from yesterday. In which I mentioned that “the problem is, she seems unenthusiastic about it. The emotional part of me is saddened by that, but the logical part of me is trying to figure out what went wrong and maybe even what I can do to make this successful,” (If you haven't, go back and read that post. The content from it is a crucial part of this story). After the ice cube incident, I was aware that she wasn’t embracing this as she had in the past. But I held onto so much hope and thought that I had come up with a brilliant way to frame this. In short, I would expect nothing from her. And she could expect anything she wanted from me. I love wearing my chastity, and would do anything for her just to stay in the damn thing.

So, after so many encouraging comments on yesterday's post, I decided fuck it. Now or never. I put the little one to bed, showered, made the bed, and waited for Princess to finish her shower. I always brush her hair out after the shower. So, that felt like the perfect opportunity to have this conversation. I would be actively servicing her, and we’d have 10 minutes at least to go over it. So I did exactly that.

“Hey, I want to talk to you about something,” I said with my heart on my sleeve and the brush in my hand.

“Ugh, why?”

Why are you crazy?

“I don’t know. I’ve just had something on my mind a lot recently, and I wanted to talk to you about it,” I tried to explain. “I want to be locked up for you again. I love the feeling that you’re in control, and I think I know how we might be able to frame this to make this ideal for you. You can give me a list of things you expect me to get done, and I’d be so attentive to you as a way to thank you for doing this f-”

“Hold on. Can I just stop you right there? I’m not into this anymore. After having our daughter, I just want to be done with all that stuff in the box (we have a sex box of kinky stuff from our early days). I just want to be a little family with you there to protect her and me. I want you to be dominant and just to enjoy vanilla sex,” she confessed with tears in her eyes. “I know how deeply rooted this desire is for you. I know you won’t just be able to get over it. I know that must feel really shitty for you. But it's just the way things are now. I’m not that same person anymore.”

I was taken aback. On one hand, I had just gotten a deeper and more emotionally weighted statement about her sexual desires from her than I had in a long time. On the other hand, I felt the chastity-loving part of myself being suppressed again. “I completely understand, baby. I need you to know that you are more important to me than any fantasy I may have. I am willing to do whatever it takes for you. So please understand that.” I shared. “Does it make you feel weird that I have been wearing this chastity all weekend while you are away?”

“Yes.”

“I am sorry. I didn’t know you felt that way. I have been working really hard on figuring out a way to make this as easy for you as possible. I had no expectations, and I would never do anything to make you uncomfortable,” I said reassuringly. “In fact, my whole plan to go about this was to make everything about you. I want you to feel no pressure. To feel like I am giving you everything you want.”

“You’re trying to do this for me?” she said unbelievingly.

“Yes, that's the whole idea! That’s what I want.”

“I don’t think you’re able to move past the fantasy,” she confessed.

“That's not true. So much has changed. Everything has changed. I was trying to frame this whole thing in a way that showed you that, but that's obviously not happening.”

“No. I know how deeply this goes for you. But the problem is that I am not the same person anymore. I don’t want you wearing that thing around our daughter, “ she said. What if the baby sees it? What if she remembers it? She thought, but said only with her facial expression.

That’s where the conversation ended. It wasn’t cold, and it wasn’t an argument. I told her that I’m thankful that we had the conversation and that we talked about a lot of important stuff. It's a good thing to have these conversations. After which, I went into the bathroom and took off my chastity. I stuffed it into the old box. I did use the spare key, and am now realizing the other key is in the freezer. As she makes her iced coffee today, I wonder what she will think when she sees it. Will she avoid the ice tray? Is she disgusted by me? I’m not sure. And I’m really stressed and nervous about what is going to happen next.

Will this make her not want to have vanilla sex with me? I told her during our conversation that my desire for her will NEVER change. I think she's the most beautiful person in the world. I have a primal attraction to her scent and her touch. I just happen to enjoy the feeling of wearing a chastity, and would prefer if she were holding the key (even if she locked it and forgot it). We ended up reading in bed last night and falling asleep with our legs crossed. That made me feel good because when she's upset with me, she will not allow any touch from me at any time. However, I did ask her for a kiss before bed, and she told me no. Citing that I smelled like the chips and guac I had been eating. So I got up, brushed my teeth, and read til I fell asleep. I never asked for another kiss.

Now today I’ve been on a roller coaster of emotions. First thing when I woke up, I went on my phone. I had six notifications from Reddit of friendly people commenting and telling me that I was doing the right thing. These comments said it was refreshing to hear from someone who is trying to put their partner first and things like that. It felt like salt in a wound. Everyone thinks that I’m doing a good thing, except for the only person in my life who actually matters.

This morning I had a moment of frustration, and I feel guilty about it. I leave for work at 8. Usually, kiddo wakes up at 8:30-9, but today she was awake at 7:30. She's great at self-soothing and usually sits in bed singing or babbling for 30 minutes, no issue at all. So, I didn't immediately rush to get her. I had a thought that I’m not proud of. I thought, “If only Princess had said yes yesterday, then doing baby's morning routine whenever applicable would’ve been something I had promised to do.” I immediately knew that was one of those red flag thoughts. Those “woah wtf I didn’t mean that” thoughts. The last thing I want to do is punish her for saying no. For being honest with me. But I still had it anyway...

Driving to work, I found myself listening to Three Days Grace’s “Home” and “I Hate Everything About You.” Fortunately, I found myself NOT agreeing with the lines being sung. Still, the tempo and stress relief of listening to that genre felt good. Now, I’m at work. I’ve sat here pouring my heart out onto these pages. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do with this. Do I share it with Reddit? Do I share it with her? Both? A therapist? Idk, and I hate not knowing. I worry that I’ve made a significant impact on her, and it will affect us. I worry that she’ll be disgusted by me and not want to be intimate with me. I wonder if I’ll have to suppress my desires forever. It’s been 10 years since I first felt them, and they come and go in waves, but they’re just as strong as they were back then. It would be naive to think that I can just banish them. She knows that, too. So, will she maybe think it could be worth it just to hear me out and do a trial run? But then I feel guilty because I promised her I’d never make her uncomfortable. Would sharing this with her make her uncomfortable? Probably… But it's been really nice for me to write all this down. Unpacking. Am I supposed to go on treating her like nothing has changed? Probably. I mean, part of this whole journey was me saying, “I want to give you everything you want,” and I meant that. So, what will I do next? I plan to continue doing all my things the same as I was. Coffee, laundry, dishes, baby, be attentive. What can I change? I guess I can try to work on my masturbation issue. However, once daily isn’t too excessive, is it? It’s a safe space for me and something that's been wired into my brain for 15+ years. Luckily for me, I’m well-endowed and am very much interested in vanilla intercourse. Maybe I can stick solely to that kind of content if I do choose to do some self-play. After writing this, I just want to know if I should share this with her. It scares the shit out of me, but it also seems like a good idea. It’s honest. And to be honest, I don’t think that I made my point clearly enough last night.

I feel that I was cut a bit short and didn’t get to express myself fully. She seemed like she didn’t believe me when I said I wanted to do this for her. I also told her that I was almost trying to bribe her and would do whatever she wanted as a thank you. She seemed a bit disgusted by that. Is that disgusting? Selfish? I don't know. It doesn't feel that way. It feels genuine and thoughtful to me, but it wasn’t received that way. So did I miscommunicate? Or had she already made her mind up? She did say that she feels weirded out by me wearing it around our daughter. Totally understandable. And that her brain chemistry has changed post-pregnancy. That makes a ton of sense. In fact, those two things are what I see as the root of her unwillingness to become a keyholder again. She’s weirded out by it around the baby, and she’s no longer into the sex-toy side of things. 100% valid and 100% understandable.

But where does this leave me? What am I supposed to do about it? I took the cage off and put it away. I thought about offering to throw it away, but I couldn’t bring myself to do that. I’m allowed to enjoy things too. I am allowed to have my desires. Even if she doesn't want to fulfill them, I will not pretend they don't exist. In that box is also a dildo. I love anal stimulation. I have for 10+ years, and I’m not going to pretend that I don’t. Funnily, I almost feel like an oppressed Victorian housewife who wants to express herself sexually but is held back by a husband who wants “a prim and proper housewife.” Is that a stretch? I don’t think so. I want toys in bed, she doesn’t. She wants a typical family dynamic, I do too, but with spice throughout it. That brings me to two things I want to talk about.

1. She said she wants me to be dominant. What does that mean? In general, I have a much higher libido than her. If I try to impress that upon her or initiate, I am usually shot down. This has happened enough times that I am shy about initiating. It sucks being shot down. Honestly, I would rather wait for her to fall asleep and then masturbate. If I’m shot down, I think she knows I’m going to do it, and that makes me embarrassed. So, she simultaneously doesn’t feel willing to match my libido, but she wants me to be dominant as well? She specifically said the word dominant. That’s an incredibly sexually charged word. I’ve dominated her in bed many times. But of late, we are more vanilla with sex. If that's what she wants, I will do it absolutely. Sounds like a grand ol’ time. I’m guessing she doesn’t want me to become a Christian Grey, but maybe small things? Idk. Maybe I am feeling the same thing she feels about my cage. “Yeah, you say you want that, but do you really mean it?” I will work on it.

2. She said that she wants a normal family dynamic. Is that mutually exclusive with chastity? Can we have both? I think we absolutely can. I’ve worn the cage enough that I can act as if it is not there. If she wanted to forget about it, she could. The only reminders would be if she wants to dance on me or brushes up against me. That's fucking heaven for a dude in a cage, but would that be hell for her? Would she be afraid to do those things? I think she doesn’t believe that I could wear the cage and not ask for any “entertainment” as she called it over text. But that hurts because I KNOW that I can. That’s the entire point that I was trying to get across. I didn’t get to make that point, and it sucks. Or maybe I did make that point, and she just couldn’t accept it. If I bring it back up, I think it will just upset her. Then I’d definitely be negatively impacting us. Someone mentioned honor-chastity to me. I should look into it. Maybe a future lies there with myself in honor-chastity at all times that baby is awake, and in real chastity after she goes to bed? That would align with my masturbation issue. Hmm…

What do I do? What do I do?

Why are you crazy? That one hurt.

This seems like it's going to be a long one, so buckle up. I finally re-confessed my feelings to my Princess last night. It went… not great. As I sit here writing this, I’m at work actively trying to hold back tears. But let me go back a couple of days just to paint the whole picture.

Last Friday, my Princess went on a girls' trip. She was set to return home early Monday morning. I was home alone all weekend and had my daughter at home with me. As a 10+ year chastity enthusiast, the first thing I planned on doing after she left was locking up. I’ve been dabbling in the kink again, and for a whole weekend, I was going to be attentive at home with my daughter and a bit of a horny mess at night. Now, let me be the first to say, it does feel strange being around her with the chastity on. She's only a toddler, but at times, it does cross my mind that my sexual desires may impact her. That makes me feel guilty, but I pressed on.

Friday night, I texted my Princess and let her know that I was wearing the chastity. Having stints of playing with it in the past, she understood all that meant. Her response was as expected: “Hey, I’m on a girls' trip, so I won't have time to entertain you, but you should keep it on.” Perfect! She knows what I’m doing, and she wants me to keep wearing it! Maybe she wants me to be thinking about her? Maybe she doesn’t want me masturbating while she's gone? I don’t care! She told me to keep it on! I felt on top of the world.

There was no mention of the cage for the entirety of her girls’ trip. In fact, I had gotten to thinking that she had either forgotten about it or hoped that I had gotten over it and taken it off. Truth is, I had it on the entire time, and I think she wished I had taken it off. It was now Monday night. She got home from her trip and recovery napped for half of the day. That night, after the kiddo went to sleep, I just flashed her a quick glimpse of the top of the cage. Just wanted (naively) to remind her that I was still wearing it in case she had forgotten. I don’t remember exactly what she did or said, but it was along the lines of an eye roll and “really?” Then, I wanted to show her something. I posted on Reddit about freezing my chastity key into an ice cube this weekend. I thought, “Why not show her the ice cube? Then she will know that I am serious about this and that I have stayed true to her.”

So I did exactly that. I grabbed it out of the freezer and walked over to her as it melted around my fingers.

“I want to show you something,” I told her. Whilst I held the ice cube in the air.

She looked at it, confused. I don’t think she had even the slightest clue why I wanted to show her some ice. So, I turned it around and showed her the side where the key was most clearly visible. That's when I realized things were not going to plan.

“Why are you crazy?” she said without a hint of interest.

“I don’t know. I’ve seen it online, and it seemed like a good way to handle the key while you were gone.”

And that was the end of that conversation, as I remember it. Was more said? Possibly. If it was, my brain wasn’t able to process it due to the mixture of shame and confusion I was feeling. I put it back in the freezer and went to the bathroom. I just sat in there and stared off into the distance as I tried to break down what I had just experienced. She did not seem excited. She seemed genuinely shocked. Maybe even upset. Why are you crazy?

Looking back on this, it seems obvious that I should’ve slammed on the brakes right then. Instead, I clung to hope and was likely in denial. I was contacted by a friend to play video games and ended up doing that for the rest of the night. Slept in my cage and wore it to work the next day. At work, I wrote my post from yesterday. In which I mentioned that “the problem is, she seems unenthusiastic about it. The emotional part of me is saddened by that, but the logical part of me is trying to figure out what went wrong and maybe even what I can do to make this successful,” (If you haven't, go back and read that post. The content from it is a crucial part of this story). After the ice cube incident, I was aware that she wasn’t embracing this as she had in the past. But I held onto so much hope and thought that I had come up with a brilliant way to frame this. In short, I would expect nothing from her. And she could expect anything she wanted from me. I love wearing my chastity, and would do anything for her just to stay in the damn thing.

So, after so many encouraging comments on yesterday's post, I decided fuck it. Now or never. I put the little one to bed, showered, made the bed, and waited for Princess to finish her shower. I always brush her hair out after the shower. So, that felt like the perfect opportunity to have this conversation. I would be actively servicing her, and we’d have 10 minutes at least to go over it. So I did exactly that.

“Hey, I want to talk to you about something,” I said with my heart on my sleeve and the brush in my hand.

“Ugh, why?”

Why are you crazy?

“I don’t know. I’ve just had something on my mind a lot recently, and I wanted to talk to you about it,” I tried to explain. “I want to be locked up for you again. I love the feeling that you’re in control, and I think I know how we might be able to frame this to make this ideal for you. You can give me a list of things you expect me to get done, and I’d be so attentive to you as a way to thank you for doing this f-”

“Hold on. Can I just stop you right there? I’m not into this anymore. After having our daughter, I just want to be done with all that stuff in the box (we have a sex box of kinky stuff from our early days). I just want to be a little family with you there to protect her and me. I want you to be dominant and just to enjoy vanilla sex,” she confessed with tears in her eyes. “I know how deeply rooted this desire is for you. I know you won’t just be able to get over it. I know that must feel really shitty for you. But it's just the way things are now. I’m not that same person anymore.”

I was taken aback. On one hand, I had just gotten a deeper and more emotionally weighted statement about her sexual desires from her than I had in a long time. On the other hand, I felt the chastity-loving part of myself being suppressed again. “I completely understand, baby. I need you to know that you are more important to me than any fantasy I may have. I am willing to do whatever it takes for you. So please understand that.” I shared. “Does it make you feel weird that I have been wearing this chastity all weekend while you are away?”

“Yes.”

“I am sorry. I didn’t know you felt that way. I have been working really hard on figuring out a way to make this as easy for you as possible. I had no expectations, and I would never do anything to make you uncomfortable,” I said reassuringly. “In fact, my whole plan to go about this was to make everything about you. I want you to feel no pressure. To feel like I am giving you everything you want.”

“You’re trying to do this for me?” she said unbelievingly.

“Yes, that's the whole idea! That’s what I want.”

“I don’t think you’re able to move past the fantasy,” she confessed.

“That's not true. So much has changed. Everything has changed. I was trying to frame this whole thing in a way that showed you that, but that's obviously not happening.”

“No. I know how deeply this goes for you. But the problem is that I am not the same person anymore. I don’t want you wearing that thing around our daughter, “ she said. What if the baby sees it? What if she remembers it? She thought, but said only with her facial expression.

That’s where the conversation ended. It wasn’t cold, and it wasn’t an argument. I told her that I’m thankful that we had the conversation and that we talked about a lot of important stuff. It's a good thing to have these conversations. After which, I went into the bathroom and took off my chastity. I stuffed it into the old box. I did use the spare key, and am now realizing the other key is in the freezer. As she makes her iced coffee today, I wonder what she will think when she sees it. Will she avoid the ice tray? Is she disgusted by me? I’m not sure. And I’m really stressed and nervous about what is going to happen next.

Will this make her not want to have vanilla sex with me? I told her during our conversation that my desire for her will NEVER change. I think she's the most beautiful person in the world. I have a primal attraction to her scent and her touch. I just happen to enjoy the feeling of wearing a chastity, and would prefer if she were holding the key (even if she locked it and forgot it). We ended up reading in bed last night and falling asleep with our legs crossed. That made me feel good because when she's upset with me, she will not allow any touch from me at any time. However, I did ask her for a kiss before bed, and she told me no. Citing that I smelled like the chips and guac I had been eating. So I got up, brushed my teeth, and read til I fell asleep. I never asked for another kiss.

Now today I’ve been on a roller coaster of emotions. First thing when I woke up, I went on my phone. I had six notifications from Reddit of friendly people commenting and telling me that I was doing the right thing. These comments said it was refreshing to hear from someone who is trying to put their partner first and things like that. It felt like salt in a wound. Everyone thinks that I’m doing a good thing, except for the only person in my life who actually matters.

This morning I had a moment of frustration, and I feel guilty about it. I leave for work at 8. Usually, kiddo wakes up at 8:30-9, but today she was awake at 7:30. She's great at self-soothing and usually sits in bed singing or babbling for 30 minutes, no issue at all. So, I didn't immediately rush to get her. I had a thought that I’m not proud of. I thought, “If only Princess had said yes yesterday, then doing baby's morning routine whenever applicable would’ve been something I had promised to do.” I immediately knew that was one of those red flag thoughts. Those “woah wtf I didn’t mean that” thoughts. The last thing I want to do is punish her for saying no. For being honest with me. But I still had it anyway...

Driving to work, I found myself listening to Three Days Grace’s “Home” and “I Hate Everything About You.” Fortunately, I found myself NOT agreeing with the lines being sung. Still, the tempo and stress relief of listening to that genre felt good. Now, I’m at work. I’ve sat here pouring my heart out onto these pages. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do with this. Do I share it with Reddit? Do I share it with her? Both? A therapist? Idk, and I hate not knowing. I worry that I’ve made a significant impact on her, and it will affect us. I worry that she’ll be disgusted by me and not want to be intimate with me. I wonder if I’ll have to suppress my desires forever. It’s been 10 years since I first felt them, and they come and go in waves, but they’re just as strong as they were back then. It would be naive to think that I can just banish them. She knows that, too. So, will she maybe think it could be worth it just to hear me out and do a trial run? But then I feel guilty because I promised her I’d never make her uncomfortable. Would sharing this with her make her uncomfortable? Probably… But it's been really nice for me to write all this down. Unpacking. Am I supposed to go on treating her like nothing has changed? Probably. I mean, part of this whole journey was me saying, “I want to give you everything you want,” and I meant that. So, what will I do next? I plan to continue doing all my things the same as I was. Coffee, laundry, dishes, baby, be attentive. What can I change? I guess I can try to work on my masturbation issue. However, once daily isn’t too excessive, is it? It’s a safe space for me and something that's been wired into my brain for 15+ years. Luckily for me, I’m well-endowed and am very much interested in vanilla intercourse. Maybe I can stick solely to that kind of content if I do choose to do some self-play. After writing this, I just want to know if I should share this with her. It scares the shit out of me, but it also seems like a good idea. It’s honest. And to be honest, I don’t think that I made my point clearly enough last night.

I feel that I was cut a bit short and didn’t get to express myself fully. She seemed like she didn’t believe me when I said I wanted to do this for her. I also told her that I was almost trying to bribe her and would do whatever she wanted as a thank you. She seemed a bit disgusted by that. Is that disgusting? Selfish? I don't know. It doesn't feel that way. It feels genuine and thoughtful to me, but it wasn’t received that way. So did I miscommunicate? Or had she already made her mind up? She did say that she feels weirded out by me wearing it around our daughter. Totally understandable. And that her brain chemistry has changed post-pregnancy. That makes a ton of sense. In fact, those two things are what I see as the root of her unwillingness to become a keyholder again. She’s weirded out by it around the baby, and she’s no longer into the sex-toy side of things. 100% valid and 100% understandable.

But where does this leave me? What am I supposed to do about it? I took the cage off and put it away. I thought about offering to throw it away, but I couldn’t bring myself to do that. I’m allowed to enjoy things too. I am allowed to have my desires. Even if she doesn't want to fulfill them, I will not pretend they don't exist. In that box is also a dildo. I love anal stimulation. I have for 10+ years, and I’m not going to pretend that I don’t. Funnily, I almost feel like an oppressed Victorian housewife who wants to express herself sexually but is held back by a husband who wants “a prim and proper housewife.” Is that a stretch? I don’t think so. I want toys in bed, she doesn’t. She wants a typical family dynamic, I do too, but with spice throughout it. That brings me to two things I want to talk about.

1. She said she wants me to be dominant. What does that mean? In general, I have a much higher libido than her. If I try to impress that upon her or initiate, I am usually shot down. This has happened enough times that I am shy about initiating. It sucks being shot down. Honestly, I would rather wait for her to fall asleep and then masturbate. If I’m shot down, I think she knows I’m going to do it, and that makes me embarrassed. So, she simultaneously doesn’t feel willing to match my libido, but she wants me to be dominant as well? She specifically said the word dominant. That’s an incredibly sexually charged word. I’ve dominated her in bed many times. But of late, we are more vanilla with sex. If that's what she wants, I will do it absolutely. Sounds like a grand ol’ time. I’m guessing she doesn’t want me to become a Christian Grey, but maybe small things? Idk. Maybe I am feeling the same thing she feels about my cage. “Yeah, you say you want that, but do you really mean it?” I will work on it.

2. She said that she wants a normal family dynamic. Is that mutually exclusive with chastity? Can we have both? I think we absolutely can. I’ve worn the cage enough that I can act as if it is not there. If she wanted to forget about it, she could. The only reminders would be if she wants to dance on me or brushes up against me. That's fucking heaven for a dude in a cage, but would that be hell for her? Would she be afraid to do those things? I think she doesn’t believe that I could wear the cage and not ask for any “entertainment” as she called it over text. But that hurts because I KNOW that I can. That’s the entire point that I was trying to get across. I didn’t get to make that point, and it sucks. Or maybe I did make that point, and she just couldn’t accept it. If I bring it back up, I think it will just upset her. Then I’d definitely be negatively impacting us. Someone mentioned honor-chastity to me. I should look into it. Maybe a future lies there with myself in honor-chastity at all times that baby is awake, and in real chastity after she goes to bed? That would align with my masturbation issue. Hmm…

What do I do? What do I do?

Why are you crazy? That one hurt.

So, I am in a bit of a pickle here. I have successfully introduced chastity and keyholding to my girlfriend in the past. We had a stint, and things were great! Check my page if you want to see ;) That all stopped a while ago, and I’m looking to start it back up again. The problem is, I don’t think her heart is in it anymore. Seeking advice/confirmation that my new method might work better for both of us.

Fast forward two years, we’ve got a daughter and now live together (woohoo!) I plan on proposing in the near future. As busy adults, our sex life is not as active as it was in the days when she had keyheld for me. I want to revamp it. I want to be locked up for her and under her control. The problem is, she seems unenthusiastic about it. The emotional part of me is saddened by that, but the logical part of me is trying to figure out what went wrong and maybe even what I can do to make this successful. Now, I’m not looking to be locked 24/7/365. I’m well-endowed and love to have vanilla sex with her. For the last year or so, we average about once or twice a month. It’s great, and I am very content with that part of my life. Now, to be honest, I have a bit of a masturbation issue. I started young and have been consistently masturbating once a day for a few years (unless we had sex that day). 90% of the time, I'm doing it to femdom chastity content.

Recently, I keep finding myself thinking, I want this in real life. Not just at night in my head. I want to be controlled! But I know that my partner and I do not have the time or energy to live that fantasy life. I have come to accept that. In that acceptance, I realized that the best way to move forward may be by making this as easy as possible for her. I understand how much work it is for her to be a strict keyholder. The constant teasing, torment, pegging, yadda yadda that you see all over Reddit is not realistic for most people in real life. While that stuff gets me incredibly hard and daydreamy, it is not what I want. What I want is to have my princess hold the keys for me, and use that sort of play as a reward if I have been taking care of her. It would help curb my masturbation issue, and it would fulfill the exact thing that I fantasize about!

In general, I am already fulfilling a lot of the standard expectations of a man in an FLR. I do the dishes, I make her coffee (sometimes), and I wake up and put the baby to bed. I do a lot of our grocery shopping, I tuck her in at night, get her toothbrush for her, do laundry, and so much more. It would make me happy to have these things clearly outlined as expectations for me to complete. I would work so hard as a thank you to her for holding my key.

I also want to make this as stress free for her as possible. I am curious how many real life FLR/chastity couples navigate ups and downs of daily life. If you’re having a shitty day and don’t have the energy to deal with a man who is literally wearing a constant reminder of you around his cock, what do you do? Do real chaste couples go full days or weeks without so much as a touch or mention of the chastity cage? I wonder how it would feel for the guy. Would he feel forgotten? Would I? I am unsure.

So, I’m seeking advice on how to transition from a non-chastity-wearing and very supportive man to a chastity-wearing and following clear expectations man. Now, I think this would be beneficial in a lot of ways.

#1: It would encourage me to finish my tasks because I see it as a way of thanking her for holding my key. I want this. I will work hard to do what I need to do

#2: It allows her to set very clear expectations of what she wants from me. Coffee everyday? Laundry? Massage? Whats important to her? I think I can guess, but this is a great way for me to learn/ask what specific aspects are most important to her.

#3: I am not asking her to put in extra effort. If she does not feel like mentioning or even thinking about my chastity, she doesn’t have to. I think this takes a huge load off her shoulders compared to the fantasized aspects you see in porn.

Please let me know what you all think :) I’ll keep updating here as things develop.

So, I am in a bit of a pickle here. I have successfully introduced chastity and keyholding to my girlfriend in the past. We had a stint, and things were great! Check my page if you want to see ;) That all stopped a while ago, and I’m looking to start it back up again. The problem is, I don’t think her heart is in it anymore. Seeking advice/confirmation that my new method might work better for both of us.

Fast forward two years, we’ve got a daughter and now live together (woohoo!) I plan on proposing in the near future. As busy adults, our sex life is not as active as it was in the days when she had keyheld for me. I want to revamp it. I want to be locked up for her and under her control. The problem is, she seems unenthusiastic about it. The emotional part of me is saddened by that, but the logical part of me is trying to figure out what went wrong and maybe even what I can do to make this successful. Now, I’m not looking to be locked 24/7/365. I’m well-endowed and love to have vanilla sex with her. For the last year or so, we average about once or twice a month. It’s great, and I am very content with that part of my life. Now, to be honest, I have a bit of a masturbation issue. I started young and have been consistently masturbating once a day for a few years (unless we had sex that day). 90% of the time, I'm doing it to femdom chastity content.

Recently, I keep finding myself thinking, I want this in real life. Not just at night in my head. I want to be controlled! But I know that my partner and I do not have the time or energy to live that fantasy life. I have come to accept that. In that acceptance, I realized that the best way to move forward may be by making this as easy as possible for her. I understand how much work it is for her to be a strict keyholder. The constant teasing, torment, pegging, yadda yadda that you see all over Reddit is not realistic for most people in real life. While that stuff gets me incredibly hard and daydreamy, it is not what I want. What I want is to have my princess hold the keys for me, and use that sort of play as a reward if I have been taking care of her. It would help curb my masturbation issue, and it would fulfill the exact thing that I fantasize about!

In general, I am already fulfilling a lot of the standard expectations of a man in an FLR. I do the dishes, I make her coffee (sometimes), and I wake up and put the baby to bed. I do a lot of our grocery shopping, I tuck her in at night, get her toothbrush for her, do laundry, and so much more. It would make me happy to have these things clearly outlined as expectations for me to complete. I would work so hard as a thank you to her for holding my key.

I also want to make this as stress free for her as possible. I am curious how many real life FLR/chastity couples navigate ups and downs of daily life. If you’re having a shitty day and don’t have the energy to deal with a man who is literally wearing a constant reminder of you around his cock, what do you do? Do real chaste couples go full days or weeks without so much as a touch or mention of the chastity cage? I wonder how it would feel for the guy. Would he feel forgotten? Would I? I am unsure.

So, I’m seeking advice on how to transition from a non-chastity-wearing and very supportive man to a chastity-wearing and following clear expectations man. Now, I think this would be beneficial in a lot of ways.

#1: It would encourage me to finish my tasks because I see it as a way of thanking her for holding my key. I want this. I will work hard to do what I need to do

#2: It allows her to set very clear expectations of what she wants from me. Coffee everyday? Laundry? Massage? Whats important to her? I think I can guess, but this is a great way for me to learn/ask what specific aspects are most important to her.

#3: I am not asking her to put in extra effort. If she does not feel like mentioning or even thinking about my chastity, she doesn’t have to. I think this takes a huge load off her shoulders compared to the fantasized aspects you see in porn.

Please let me know what you all think :) I’ll keep updating here as things develop.

Hey everyone! I have never posted to this subreddit so you may not know me. Regardless, I have decided to sit down and write a little bit on here. You see, yesterday I was sitting at home, locked up, and scrolling through reddit. It dawned upon me that instead of looking at other peoples content, why not reflect upon my own. This turned out to be a grand decision.

I scrolled all the way down to the bottom of my page. Reading my first posts on this account was like drinking a magnificent cocktail of rememberance, amazement, pride, and lust. Since then, I made a couple picture posts to some of the larger chastity subreddits, but I've realized that writing may be where my best contributions lie. Alas, I am going to share a bit about something I am actively processing as a write this.

Freezing your chastity key into an ice cube is something all longtime lurkers of the caged side of reddit will be, at least, familiar with. As one of these longtime lurkers, I have met this method of self-keyholding only briefly and dismissively. I must have seen 1,000 comments saying "Freeze your chastity key into a block of ice," usually followed by "Mail the key to yourself." While the second idea seems effective and scary, the first seemed completely pointless to me. I'd think to myself "an ice cube isnt going to stop me from unlocking myself. In fact, it would take me approximately 12 and a half seconds to crush the ice and remove the key." Well, today I tried it for the first time.

As you can see on my profile, I went out to do some errands with my cage on and one of my girlfriends lacy thongs between my cheeks. Said girlfriend is gone for the weekend and I've been doing some self locking. Prior to heading out of the house, I refilled my ice tray. Whilst doing so, I recalled the countless times redditors have suggested putting my key into one. So, I said fuck it and dropped it in there.

I went out and did what I needed to get done. Never forgetting my cage nor my borrowed lingerie. I did however, forget about the key. I should say, this is the only key that I have. So, upon returning home I went about my business until it dawned upon my that my key should be frozen solid. So I went to take a peek.

It's frozen alright. As I type, the key is halfway submerged into the cloudy haze of imperfections in the ice. The steel (I hope) casts the entire cube into a dark shade which stands apart from the rest. The feeling invoked by it is difficult to describe. It's satisfying at first, but also comes with a feeling that this will not be the last time I look upon a frozen key. Holding the ice cube brings a whole new spectrum of feelings.

Holding the cube is sad, because I know it will one day be shattered. This particular ice cube has potentially changed the way I do self locking forever. I want to protect this ice cube. I want to see it every single time I open my freezer because I am bored, or high, or hungry, or all three. I want to keep my cock locked up tight while my key waits. I am certain that I could free the key in less than the 12 and a half seconds I previously estimated it would take. A good throw at the concrete and the ice would become inconsequential. Yet, I don't want to. In a way, I see this ice cube as a challenge. Maybe in the near future I will be yearning to release myself and orgasm all over myself. When that time comes, will I be able to free the key as easily as I thought?

I remember learning in a psychology class that humans are incredibly bad are accurately predicting the effect that your emotions will have on you. When my entire brain is screaming "get this key out right now so you can cum," will I be able to overcome the emotions that I have towards protecting this ice cube? Only time will tell. If this post gets some attention, I may tell you all about it :) Am I overembelishing the feelings I have towards this ice cube? Hard to tell. I am writing from the heart, but only time can tell.

I've taken photos of the key before and after it froze. If you'd like to see them let me know. I could post them.

TLDR: tried freezing my only key into an ice cube. LOVED IT

Hey all! I (25M) have been with my partner (25F) for going on three years now. We've got a one year old daughter and all live happily together in our apartment. Before baby came along, we were quite the kinksters. Dabbled in BDSM (switch), chastity, pegging, hot wax, prostate play, and more. We've also had many conversations where we have reavealed that both of us would be into the swinger lifestyle down the line. Naturally, these things have been put on the back-burner since the baby. We've got a healthy vanilla sex-life at the moment, but I find myself constantly fantisizing about more. Specifically, chastity. I love the idea of longterm wear and would love her to support me in this. I also know thats a lot of work. More on that below.

As I mentioned in the title, were already in a bit of an improptu flr. I handle a lot of the household chores, and do so without being asked. I am also incredibly involved in the raising of our daughter. She goes out whenever she wants, sleeps in when im not working, and I even financially support her in pretty much everything. As I think about flr, it seems that our relationship checks a lot of the boxes that are important in authentic flrs. Part of me is just posting this here as a way to blog my feelings, but part of me also really wants to hear from people in real flr relationships. So, thats my story. I've got a few questions if anyone wants to help out :)

With chastity, it is definitely a kink for me, and I understand that means that I'm actually asking her to do something for me. So, I think that it would be beneficial to clearly tell her "hey, if you're gonna do this for me, I just want you to know that I do not expect anything from you, and I would really be happy doing this at your pace. I would never want you to feel obligated to do anything for me." Does that seems a good way to approach it? How do chastity couples navigate arguments/disagreements that are unrelated? I just wonder what real life would look like and how to navigate that healthily.

With chores, do you folks in flrs have some sort of chore list that you assign? Weve talked about getting a whiteboard for the kitchen. I think it'd be cute to have my chores listed on there. Anyone tried this?

For finances, I've never had a findom kink, but I reckon it's something she would actually really enjoy. So, how to start that gently in a way which I may come to love it? Currently, my job pays almost all our bills, and she uses her paycheck pretty much however she wants. I feel like thats already a form of findom, and I'm partially just explaining whats going on and partially looking for ways to verbalize the fact that I'd be okay with continuing that way, and it might even grow into more.

With children, how do you folks in flrs with children go about it? I feel like at some point its just normalcy right? Any advice on what a submissive father should keep in mind?

Thanks for reading! I find myself getting excited writing all this. I'm currenty locked up at home while shes on a bachelorette trip all weekend :) She knows ;) She also knows about this reddit account.... wonder if she'll think to look here...