r/traumatizedsluts2

So you're a man scrolling this sub. you presumably have an interest in the kinks that relate to it. you see some post you find hot, you're interested in talking to the person behind the post. You keep sending messages, but no one replies to you or they only give brief boring responses then disappear. You're frustrated, and you can't figure out what's going wrong. here's a step by step on how to increase your chances of getting a reply. This is aimed mostly at men, but a lot of points can be relevant for women too struggling with messaging men or keeping a conversation going with someone they want to talk to.

realistically yes, you are probably one of up to 200-300 guys responding to a post. how many exactly depends on the time of day, the type of post, etc. it could be less it could be more, but assume there's probably at least 50 other guys responding. That is not doom and gloom though because that is not 50 men who are churning out high quality Literotica that you could never compare to. Most of those messages are low effort low quality and irrelevant to the post or the person. Use your first message to stand out and say "I'm worth paying attention to". In amongst a sea of "nice tits" "I'll cum in your holes" etc standing out is actually pretty easy.

The next step is making it actually stick, because standing out isn't enough on its own. here's a little checklist.

am I responding to this person because I like their kinks and fantasies, or just because I like their body?

Take the time to check what someone is into. if they've never once mentioning breeding or incest they are unlikely to be interested in your 3 paragraph Literotica about impregnating your daughter. it's not zero chance, but if you're trying to increase your odds and reduce how many times you don't get a reply try to get a little more targeted and remember that you are talking to a person with their own turn ons and kinks not just a pair of tits.

Part of this is also going to be finding the people who seem to be looking for the same thing as you. If you like long detailed roleplay look for long detailed posts. If you like sending pics back and forth find people who mostly post pics and less text. Someone who posts text heavy content is probably looking for text heavy chats and isn't going to be so interested in sending walls of pics and following basic tasks etc. Find your target audience, who seems most likely to be interested in what you want? And double check that they actually seem to want messages at all, does their profile say no DM's or lay out some guidelines and boundaries? Double check their bio and any pinned posts.

Opening line. This is the part of the message that's going to pop up first. If it's pretty explicit this is less relevant because it's going to say something like (potentially offensive message), but that in itself can be appealing because it means there's at least some level of detail. But try lead with Something that shows that the rest of the message may be like. It's polite to say hello to people and introduce yourself and there's nothing wrong with doing that if that's how you want to chat, but in this format you probably don't want to lead with it. otherwise the only part of the message they'll see scrolling through the requests is "hi! how are you? I am a...." which is not going to help with the standing out part.
content. Again it's normal to feel like you should say hi and get to know someone before jumping into things, but most people won't reply to a hello so you'll never get to the part of introducing yourself properly. Try to include the details someone would need to know if they wanted to talk to you upfront. What are you looking for? What are you into? What style of messaging or play are you going to use? This way the people who are into you are way more likely to know they are into you and reply. If they're not sure and swamped with messages there is a good chance they won't respond or will only send a cautious 'hi' and put in low effort while waiting for more info.
format/style. You know how you like to talk to people and what works for you. Some guys prefer to send a more formal instruction that lists their kinks and what they like. Some guys prefer to jump in with roleplay and make it clear through the roleplay what they are into. There's nothing inherently wrong with either, and different people you are messaging will prefer different styles. Part of this is just going to be luck when it comes to who you happen to message. You might get an idea from how they respond to comments too though. Either way, try to lean into what you like and feel confident with. If roleplay is absolutely your thing, then put your best foot forward. If you like to chat first and build up into more intense conversation? That's your style and leading with it will help you connect with the most compatible people for you.
Your profile. Consider not hiding everything on your profile, or if you don't really post or comment consider just putting up one introductory post. If I'm unsure about replying to someone I'll look at their profile. if it's empty or hidden then it's not helpful. If it's got comments and posts that I can see it's much easier to tell whether I am likely to click with them. And do not leave a string of "dm me" comments because nothing is more off-putting than seeing a guy comment on every single post he sees saying "dm me". It really suggests he did not follow step 1.
What response do you want? If you send a message, think about what kind of reply you are hoping to get. Sometimes I get legitimately hot messages but I have no idea how to respond, because I've effectively just been told something then given nothing else to go off. "I love [specific kinks or scenarios] you've talked about. [dirty talk about them]." and then the message ends. I'm left wondering if this person wants to roleplay, just wanted to drop a message and run, or isn't actually sure what they want but sent me a message anyway. When I'm horny and clicking through message after message and I've got like 15 more messages, a lot of the time I just don't have the cognitive capacity to figure out how to reply. Sometimes I accept a message planning to reply later and I just don't get to it because I still don't know what to say.

Try including:

-questions especially with open ended answers that aren't just yes or no or facts or data. how old where you when..., did you cum, etc can be a bit limiting in terms of how detailed the reply can be without guessing or assuming a lot about why you are asking. tailoring questions to contain more information about your feelings or encourage more detailed answers can go a long way. You could try instead, "I love an age gap. How old were you when that happened? When I see nervous little 18 year olds I can barely control myself!" or "I have such a love for MILFS. How old were you when that happened? Was he younger than you? I'd love to put an older woman in her place!"

You can see how the information you've added paves the way for a more detailed response. It Hints at what kind of reply you would find hot, while leaving room to elaborate and relate it back to your interests. Say you're into MILFS and you ask the question above. If she was actually a lot younger when that happened she can say "This was years ago now, he was an older man. But these days I love being a victim for younger men. Being controlled by someone younger than me just drives me crazy!" So even if the actual answer to the question about her age isn't necessarily hot to you, if you're still compatible the conversation doesn't die.

-scenarios where the other person can reply within the scene you're creating (if you are describing fully tying someone up, gagging them, what you would do to them and their response that can be hot! but then I'm like, what do I say other than "hot!"? within the scene I can't say anything,I can't move, and you've already told me how my body responds or how I react so I can't continue this by describing that either. I'm a bit stuck). Leave a little wiggle room (pun unintended) for the other person to play around in. Maybe leave it up to them to describe how their body responds, or consider taking out the gag if you're hoping for dialogue. This also gives them room to help shape the scenario and give hints as to what is getting them off the most. If you roleplay listing out a handful of threats and they latch onto one and say "on no! not that thing! please don't do that thing to me" you've probably found the threat that's going to get the most enthusiastic response.

Accept that this is a messy space full of messy people, and you aren't trying to earn a reply by being good enough. People aren't replying to you as a reward for ticking the right boxes and doing things correctly. People are replying because they want to talk to you. People are also irrational and emotional, especially in a space like this, and sometimes the way they reply is just not going to make sense. You might do everything 'right' and not get a reply because of something unrelated and out of your control. Maybe you replied a few hours after she posted and she's no longer horny. Maybe the message before yours really pissed her off and she's not in the mood. Maybe she's triggered and self destructive, and only replying to messages from people who seem legitimately shitty. Maybe she's just not great at roleplay, and she's not sending long or detailed replies to anyone. Maybe she went to make a snack and lost interest, or she posted on her way into work and now isn't going to check messages until she gets home. maybe she doesn't reply to anyone and she just quietly reads all the messages.

At the end of the day, none of those are personal or moral crimes against you. Try to remember that your value and worth as a person isn't based on whether a trauma slut responds to you. We're here to have fun hopefully, all of us, and we're pinging off messages to each other while rubbing fucking or cranking it. So go in with the goal of having fun, and try not to make it about you as a person. You're not a product that you are trying to sell to a consumer, you're not a contestant in front of a row of judges. You're a fully actualized person in a space full of peers and equals who just may be on the other side of a kink to you. No one here can make you good enough or worthy or sexy or attractive. That's a good thing because fuck, can you imagine if random strangers on Reddit had that power over you? You are already important worthy and have something no one can give to you or take from you. Let self worth come from yourself, be the version of yourself that YOU respect most and think is the most attractive and good and the most in line with you and your values. Then try not to carry a question of "am I good enough" into these conversations, because these are always the wrong people to answer that for you.

Yes women are getting more messages and interaction. That doesn't mean women are your gatekeepers or superiors that you need to prove yourself to just to matter or be important. It means that men are more likely to message first and women are more likely to make public posts. Don't mentally skew that dynamic into something it isn't, it's not good for your mental health or self worth and it also won't help with getting a reply. You're messaging a horny peer who has shared kinks and interests, so let them know about those shared interests and see if they want to explore them with you. We're here because we WANT some level of interaction, go on with the assumption we are equally horny equally hopeful and equally frustrated by dead ends and shit quality chats.

I know it's not the yass queen girl power thing to say, but imo it is the truly feminist thing: women are not actually more sexy or powerful or incredible than you. We just live in a culture where women (and other gender minorities and fetishized groups) are expected and pressured to perform and put ourselves out there like products and 'attract' men and where men are expected to pick through women like a catalogue the try convince the one they like to tolerate them and give them sex in exchange for something. It sucks for everyone involved. You're either a desirable object that isn't supposed to want sex, or you're an undesirable person who's supposed to convince someone to give them something they don't want to, by showing off other attributes that supposedly make you worth it. Reject that. Don't put women on a pedestal and beg for validation of your worth. But also respect that women are people, and a lot hornier and flawed and human than you may be trained to think. We're not a monolith, we're not operating on wildly different software, we're just living in a culture that trains us into certain roles and expects them of us in ways we don't even think to question. For better or worse we're equals. Not more or lesser than each other, just messy horny humans desperate for connection or just to get off.

"I'm putting in all the effort and they are just lazy!!"

If we're here making public posts and content, that's effort. You send a lot of first messages or try to carry a lot of conversations, we post a lot of content and try start a lot of conversations. If you look in the comments on the posts, you can see that the level of effort in the post is rarely met by the people who respond. It's draining honestly. But I can't go pick through a list of men to try target the ones I'm interested in, because if you click the hunter tag on the sub.... well you can see for yourself. It's mostly low effort low quality stuff, and most hunters aren't posting at all. My only viable method is post publicly, wait and see, then filter through a ton of crap in the hopes of a good chat. Aka effort effort effort just to get to the point of replying to a few people hoping that it goes somewhere. When you can scroll through a curated list of subs and take your pic based on kinks, body type, etc recognize that it's not the moderators who did most of that. While they do hard work curating the space, it's us making the content.

If you want to turn the tables then make some high effort posts of your own, and you may actually get some responses from people like me who would like the chance to choose who we message sometimes instead of just waiting for them to come to us.

I'm not saying no girls can ever be lazy or bad conversationalists, but recognize the effort we're putting in as an entire demographic for this space to even exist in the first place just out of love of the game. We're not making money off this, the only 'pay' we get is the engagement. Just like the only 'pay' you get is engagement with your message requests. if the format and skew of the dynamic isn't serving you feel free to shake things up. A lot of women scroll this sub, if you've got some good hunter perspective content up your sleeve genuinely try putting it out there because I much prefer reading that to posts from other subs/victims/sluts.

Right now these spaces that are OC based would not exist without the women making and posting that content. but you, too, can be a part of the backbone of these spaces and keep them alive and on topic. You can shape the culture and the environment of the sub by making posts and comments in it and being conscious and aware of the way you're doing that. Do you engage with the content you want to see more of? Do you bring the same energy you want to see from other people?

You can shape the culture and environment of your conversations too. You can't actually control other people. If you could I would simply stop men messaging me to tell me they would cum in all my holes or breed me 50 times a day. But you can control yourself (most of the time) and you can try to be conscious of the way you shape a conversation and how that's received by someone else.