seems i’m leaving my submissives
i made a post here a few days ago about my subs being completely passive. in a nutshell: i’ve been doing all the initiating, planning, organizing, executing, cleaning and aftercare. always the giving side. i tried talking to my subs about wanting them to be more initiative and how i’d like them to serve, but it didn’t work out. they wanted to serve only if i told them exactly when and what to do. my attempts to communicate that i feel validated and appreciated when they initiate didn’t work either: apparently they’re too shy for it.
so i gave each a task. one of them is new to BDSM, so i told her to write an essay. the other one had to prepare for a specific scene where she’d be on the giving end AND come up with what she wanted as a reward.
while they were on it, i tried to find a solution. ironic how i had to be the one doing the labor of finding the compromise again. i got an advice to tell my submissives to surprise me, meaning i’d have to initiate and schedule, but the labor of planning, organizing and executing would be on them. it seemed like a great solution. i was planning to discuss it with each. but the same day one of them failed to follow the deadline for the essay (and she had failed every single deadline before that) and said she didn’t know when she’d be able to complete it, and the other one announced she didn’t know what she wanted as a reward, didn’t want to make any decisions and would rather have me decide for her.
gals tell me if i’m jumping to conclusions… but i feel my plan wouldn’t work out. maybe it is indeed time to say goodbye, as i’m way too drained for such dynamics.