u/punamray

If your husband makes you imagine another man whom we know while we are doing it. What does it mean really?

I will give some back story he cheats on me and I have forgiven him each time. I have caught him three times (via phone) and I know he has done it without being caught too. Currently he is secretly meeting a bar girl I know that too.

So I want to know if he is doing it so I really cheat on him and then he shame me like I did in front of the family when he cheated.

Or it is just his nature.

Or he really wants me to be unfaithful too so he can do it freely.

If so that is the case how can I bring a guy whom I like in bed while he makes me imagine so he knows I really want him because so far only he has chosen the guy and initiates things.

Please help.

Apology for the long post.

I’m in my mid-30s and have been married for 13 years. Before marriage, I had a few experiences (4 people), but only crossed all lines with one. Since getting married, I’ve been completely loyal to my husband.

However, he has cheated on me a couple of times. I chose to forgive him and stay, and despite being tempted at times (especially seeing other married women cheat, including my own mother), I never acted on it.

About three years ago, I got close to one of my husband’s friends. My husband knows we talk, but not how often or how emotionally involved it has become. A month ago, this friend expressed that he wants something more with me. He’s divorced, and I understand where he’s coming from. I told myself I didn’t want it… or maybe I just didn’t want to admit that I might.

When he pulled back, I felt like I was losing something, and that’s when things escalated. We started sexting regularly. Now it’s become a daily thing, sometimes even twice a day, including pictures and video calls. I know this is crossing a line.

At the same time, I recently unblocked an ex on Instagram and even gave him my number. We chat occasionally. I know what he wants, and while I act naive, I do enjoy the attention.

There’s also another man from my society honestly kind of a creep who messages me a lot and even shows up at the gym when I go. I know I should shut it down or warn him, but I don’t. I like the attention there too.

I don’t recognize myself right now. I’ve always been the loyal one, the one who didn’t cross boundaries even when I had reasons to. But now I feel like I’m slowly slipping.

Am I just exploring desires I suppressed for years? Or am I heading toward something that could seriously damage my life?

Has anyone been in a similar situation? How did you handle it?