u/ketaminekoolaid

Whatever drug it is, if i take it long (or short) enough i will eventually betray myself and do some decrepid shit i wouldn’t even allow myself to think about when sober. I’m a woman and don’t feel the stimfap everyone talk about, and i thank the fucking lord i don’t because i would prob ruin my life. I will resist and deny any and all attention or small perversions when sober. Give me one milligram of something that will make you just slightly feel good not even horny and it is goodbye to all morals.

Betraying myself for an anonymous chat, just insanely perverted chatting that is beyond anything that is remotely normal with insane vivid paragraphs and scenarios. AND I DONT EVEN GET HORNY I JUST NEED TO TALK A LOT TO ANYONE WHO WILL LISTEN BECAUSE WOW SPEEDY FUN. Sweet summer child you don’t know this yet but you have just created your new cringe of the century. You will be so ashamed you don’t even dare text your mother back because you are still filthy from your own depraved texts that probably made this random very nice but anonymous guy who now just got the best fucking material of his life because you enjoy writing fantasies you would think is horrible for feminism if told when sober. Not BDSM. Andrea Dworkin i’m sorry girl SORRY I TRY i’m pathetic and the flesh is weak

Like this shit would prob make a seasoned pervert think twice. Not like morally totally disgusting or weird body fluids stuff not like that disgusting or illegal. But so fucking gross that i will never admit to ever writing or thinking about this guys fantasy he wanted to chat about ever fucking again. Fucking enjoyed it though. But honestly when that sped and you are talking to someone who has never dared to share not even once. How does one resist the fucking fun of writing the absolute limit of morally allowed but just fucking weird and most vivid scenarios he would never even find that good ever in his life any fucking place he would look. And those hours of my texts were a fucking masterpiece i am so fucking serious he will never find fantasies like that written in his own language and tailored to what HE wanted.

Did i have to enjoy it as much as i did though. Without even being HORNY myself?

I really fucking enjoyed doing it too, i do this like once every 2 years and just gets more and more ashamed.

Just fullfilled the ultimate smut fantasy scenarioes for this random ass dude and what the fuck do i get out of doing these things that shame me for years and years and years? I DONT FUCKING KNOW WHAT I GET OUT OF IT.

I do enjoy it but why though omfg does it have to go that fucking far does it? What is my problem. Always taking it way far like i need to be the best that has ever done it. He fucking loved that shit prob the best thing to happen to his fantasies in a while but i don’t want to just give away pleasure like that to men who might not be deserving? Like i’m sorry i don’t mean to offend but what the fuck made HIM deserve all these hours of something directed at him and him alone. And gave him new weird stuff to think about too. Why am i like this

LEARN SOME FUCKING SELF CONTROL WITH THESE THINGS OMFG ITS ALWAYS SHIT LIKE THIS WITH ME

Growing up with older norwegian family who has only been aroused once and one time only and it was in the 80s when Morten Harket arised but they collectively decided, nah, too much, let’s go back to never talking about sex and if you do it’s important that you shame your children just a little but disguise it as a joke so she can do it to her daughter because it’s all she knows and create a so weird not needed fucking purity culture in this family who doesnt even give AF about anything so its not even for prudish reasons. Why is this so WEIRD for them. but lets make sure it stays WEIRD!

And all while my own fucking generation is so scared and terrified of sex and fucking and sensuality it has made me so shameful it is not even fucking funny.

I know i should just don’t give af but i can’t i really can’t.

Love my mother to death but wow she made me feel perverted for taking my phone in the shower like a hooker at like 12 years old. Mother i was spotifying not giving myself to perverts. SO unnecessary to do this to your children and accuse when it’s really dumb and oh wait i was 12 not some sexual deviant

Can you tell i have serious mother issues?! Proll not ya

Especially in Norway too like this is a good life here for safety equal pay and general citizen wellbeing. Do not take this the wrong way. But we are all sooo fucking miserable socially this is social hell if you ever wanna make an organic friendship or relationship that is not just fucking weird or basically stalk eachother until you either get so sick of it or become inseperable for a while. Only two options for some opportunity of it not being too fucking forced but will be forced anyways if you’re not with the few who made a friend group in kindergarden and at 23 they are all now in an very incesuous group of people who are all sick of eachother but you have no choice this is what you get as options of being social.

I am guilty of this too but there is too much introversion and i say this as an introvert who fucking loves being introverted. NO ONE EVEN TALKS WITH EACHOTHER EVER

Omfg please teach your children about sex and do not go the shameful route unless you want to raise perverts who write the sleaziest insane fucking shit for someone elses pleasure because it is all i dare to admit. And then i go so far that even the perverts gets spooked before he decides that this is the craziest fantasies he has ever been given and that i now am resposible for even more perversion. Oh and yeah!

DID IT FOR actual 14 hours STRAIGHT, phone not put down ONCE. I am feeling the burns of my labour 18 hours later. And all for some random anonymous man who only did the seductive move of not being fucking weird and having a normal anonymous conversation one needs to have sometimes to discuss all of life’s pleasure. I’m never gonna experience this much shame again methinks.

If i do the radical feminists have permission to shoot me.

I think it is time to acknowledge i might be kinda perverted. Without being fucking gross. I need to apologise to the spirit of Andrea Dworkin so many times it is not even funny.

Okay this ended more sexual talk coded but for anthropology pls don’t be weird. Idk what i even want from this post. Just coming down and so very fucking ashamed i could genuinely hide in a corner.

WHY DO I DO THIS AND SIMILAR CODED STUFF TO THIS. BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY DOES IT NEED TO BE SO SHAMEFUL FOR ME INSIDE? Man. This generation is fucked i’m not gonna lie i don’t know anyone who socially kills it like at all and they don’t either.

Well i blame Norwegian introversion as for in my country but very complex.

Very fucking not what i imagined adulthood like in 2012 listening to the radio and thinking of what i’d do and have some fun friends who would just hang out and maybe have a boyfriend that is not very clingy. All one could ask for IDK.

Coming down but i literally cannot stop being annoying and texting whoever i know. This is so embarrassing of me and i wish i could say it was rare occasion. Spoiler its not

Love my fellow stimmys who cannot help but be a mostly embarrasing and cringe person while being kinda normal and then you do the stuff and just like why.

YOU ALL get me i read your posts and relate maybe i can return favor idk

Peace out lads & ladettes