TW - I am not sure what to call this
I was making out with a man that I was newly dating and he asked me if I wanted him to go down on me. I said no - I’m not ready. I pointed out that we hadn’t done much sexually yet. I said, “You’re trying to go straight to oral and you haven’t even touched me yet. You’re trying to skip a bunch of steps.”
So he held my arm with one hand and shoved his other hand down my pants and into my underwear. I was laughing at the time but I was kind of in shock. It felt playful, but also, that was the first time he touched me there. Not really what I was hoping for.
The next day he told me he was concerned that he was repeating unhealthy patterns from his previous (sexless) marriage. He pointed out that he should not have put his hand down my pants. He mentioned one other time a few days later that he crossed my boundary. I think he felt bad about it.
I’m having a delayed reaction to how messed up it kind of was and wanted to get outsiders’ point of view.