u/ExtremeTrashPanda

sauce

Sometimes a strong desire for a domme can lead people to act impulsively. It’s important to stay grounded and think things through, especially since overly eager behavior can make someone vulnerable to manipulation (I know our name here makes it ironic that we are against actually manipulating boys).Take a step back, stay mindful, and make decisions you feel good about. Also, remember that dommes are people not something to “win” or possess and approaching them with respect goes a long way.

A self-fulfilling prophecy in relationships is when your own fears or negative beliefs end up causing the exact outcome you’re worried about. Like if you’re scared your partner will leave, you might act clingy or suspicious and that pushes them away. This is unfortunately common amongst sub types. This can happen even prior to the relationship ever beginning. The very thought of "no one wants you" can make you push away opportunities from potential partners because you simply believe no one would give you an opportunity even when it's right there. You rejected them before they rejected you to prove to yourself you're unworthy. This is very unfortunate to see so commonly. It's self sabotage and holding many subs back. This behavior often comes with heavy pessimistic outlooks and/or abandonment issues.

Common examples:

👉Rejection sensitivity: You expect rejection, overreact to little things, or keep checking on your partner, which creates distance.

👉Feeling unworthy: You believe you’re not lovable, so you sabotage things or pick unavailable partners, proving yourself “right.”

👉Jealousy: Constant suspicion makes the relationship tense, so your partner pulls back.

👉Cynicism: You assume it won’t last, stop putting in effort, and it falls apart.

How the cycle works: You believe something negative ➡️ act like it’s already true ➡️ your behavior gets a bad reaction ➡️ that reaction “confirms” your belief.

⛓️‍💥How to break it: Notice your patterns, question your thoughts, act in more trusting ways, and work on your self-worth so you’re not relying on your partner for validation.

⭐I’ve dealt with this myself because of abandonment issues and a pessimistic mindset, so I know it’s not easy to fix. But it starts with recognizing it. You can end up getting in your own way over and over, then feeling hurt when things fall apart, not realizing you played a part.

I used to think no one would want me; that I wasn’t good enough; so I pushed people away and missed real opportunities. In reality, there were people who cared, but my mindset wouldn’t let me see it. I basically kept proving my own negative beliefs.

Once I started working on myself, things felt a lot less hopeless, and I realized how much I’d been holding myself back. I also had to face that my self-hate hurt people I cared about, and that still sticks with me.

This kind of self-fulfilling pattern can show up in any relationship—romantic or platonic. I hope those of you struggling with this can fight that part of you to find peace and truly start your journey in life to find someone who cares about you.

This is a long one. I took the time to do a bit of research here so think of it as a short essay and helpful guide. I also pulled from personal experiences to write this. I hope this isn't too much. But I want to make sure people see their potential and break the cycle.

Remember to love yourself!

Sauce: https://yebmel.lofter.com/post/1f6024fc\_34cebf8e7

**Character is a chibi of an adult character and is not a child. This is Nikki from Infinity Nikki and is between the ages 19-general early 20s.

This has definitely been an issue for me as a domme. People assuming I'm a product to purchase not a person who's just into being a domme. I found that there's a lot of people think dommes only exist for hire and the lifestyle part isn't even a thing. Some people even exist in both where they work with people and go home to their partner. Best not to assume someone's occupation.

Thinking every domme is a sex worker, is similar to thinking every person into bdsm is a sex worker. Which is just silly. Organic dommes who do things for the love of it nonprofessionally exist.

Side note we do not throw shade to sex workers here. We appreciate them and their contribution to the kink community. Any hate I've seen has been for scammers. Those aren't sex workers at that point they are just shady scam artists posing as a sex worker. Best to know the difference. The existence of a sex worker doesn't they are doing nefarious things that is a negative stereotype. There's plenty of genuine hard working sex workers out there living their life like it's a regular job following the law and regulations around it.