r/RealHookupAdvice

Hi everyone,

I (24F) have been in a relationship with my partner (26M) for over 4 years. We have a really solid relationship. We have a baby together, we own a house, and overall things are genuinely good between us.

But lately, or maybe not even lately, just something I have become more aware of, I find myself thinking a lot about having sex with other people. It is not about a specific person, sometimes an ex partner, sometimes a close friend whom I've kissed with, sometimes 2 people.. It's more just the idea of it, and it can make me feel really intense and horny when I think about it.

I want to be clear. I do not intend to cheat on my partner, and I do not think I would. But it does scare me a bit that the thoughts can feel so strong sometimes, like what if one day I make a mistake?

Another factor is that my libido is higher than his. He does make an effort to 'keep up', and we have sex pretty regularly, around 3 to 4 times a week, although I wouldn't mind more. So it is not like I feel neglected or like I am missing out a lot in our sex life. That is why this confuses me even more.

I guess I am wondering:

Is this something other people in long term relationships experience? Is it because we had a baby 6+ months ago? Hormones?

How do you deal with these kinds of thoughts?

Is this something I should actually be worried about?

Would really appreciate hearing other people’s experiences or advice.

I’ve only had 2 partners before my current boyfriend, very underwhelming and bad experiences. After my last partner I was completely celibate for 3 years.

I started dating my current boyfriend and we’ve been dating for 8 months. Before yesterday we’ve only had steamy makeouts sessions and some oral and hand action.

Yesterday we were about to do it, but he is really really big, like, it reaches his bellybutton big, and I got so nervous.🥲 He put just the tip in and just a little more, but it hurt SO MUCH, I couldn’t take it, i tried to suck it up but I genuinely couldn’t, i felt like I was a virgin😭

I told him I couldn’t take it and that it hurt too much, he stopped immediately and he was super sweet and reassuring🥲💕. But I couldn’t help but feel bad. Like I didn’t please him or maybe left him frustrated? Idk, especially because when he slid the tip at the beginning I saw him ball his fist beside my head, and I thought omg what if he was mad I told him I couldn’t take it after?😭 or maybe I’m just overthinking 🥲

Does anyone have any advice to take it better (lol) or is it even possible to take it that big if you don’t have much experience?😭🥲any advice is appreciated🥹🫶🏻

I (m) am meeting with a mf tomorrow for intimacy. When I'm with her I will automatically kiss her out of habit and routine. I know I should just ask during the pre action conversation, but it just feels wrong kissing another man's wife even though I have been invited to eat her pussy.

I like petite, thin women. Spinner bodies. From everything I see IRL, hear and read, those types would dig my type.

I’m 5’11” - (fit but not cut) hunk teddy bear type. Big strong arms and shoulders. Forearms and hands that would be a turnon to many women (have been told so by several.) Salt & pepper well-trimmed beard. Shaved head. Warm smiling eyes. Great teeth & lots of compliments on my smile. Face - I’d say from cute to ruggedly handsome.

I definitely draw favor on dating apps w my pics - but never draw the type I like - and that you’d think would like me. See tons of petite women IRL with guys like me (in worse shape.)

What gives?

Long story short, Im wondering if there is any type of online space or real life place I could visit to meet other people looking to have no strings attatched sexual releif? I cant help but imagine theres (and please dont be offended) girls who can't find a guy or doesnt want all the emotional attatchment and just wants to get off.

I dunno maybe im too prideful but I feel like if all the girls I know, were aware that id jump on the opportunity, I feel like alot would. But I only know co-workers who dont speak english and dont get out much.....do I just have to get fired by HR for trying? Or is there a place to go?