Family drama
I (28F) have been with my partner (52M) for a year. We've actually known each other for 6 years. He is supportive, kind, and we have a very loving relationship. However, my immediate family (parents, brother, and sister) are making it impossible to maintain a relationship with them.
They flat-out refuse to meet him. Recently, he picked me up from my parents' house and tried to be polite by saying hello. My mother completely snubbed him—she didn't even acknowledge he spoke. This was the first time in a year they have even laid eyes on each other. It was incredibly hurtful to see him treated that way when he’s done nothing but be good to me.
The biggest point of contention is children. My mom was originally upset because she assumed I'd never have kids with an older man. When I told her he actually wants to have a child with me, she shifted to being "aghast" that I would even consider having a baby with someone his age. It feels like I can't win. She thinks I'm wasting my time with him and I'm going to die alone. She has repeatedly told the entire extended family she hates him.
My extended family is supportive, but my immediate family's behavior has led to me missing all family functions and vacations. Or when I do go I sit quietly and I don't even want to engage. They claim they want "what's best for me," but they won't accept my decisions as my own. I feel like I'm being forced to choose between the man I love and the family I grew up with.
How do you deal with the "silent treatment" or blatant rudeness from parents toward a partner? At what point do I stop trying to explain my choices and just accept the distance?
I’m torn apart by this and would love to hear from anyone who has successfully navigated a family "blackout."