u/nuvemw

hi, im 19 (f), and basically the tittle, i created this throwaway account cause i feel too embarrassed to post something on my main here. ive been reading some stuff here and i hope yall can help, related to my story or not.

well, my parents got divorced 4 years ago. the divorce was not easy on me, it affected me in so many ways that i couldn't imagine that it would (we never expect our parents divorcing, right?). anyways, my parents shared my brother's and mine custody (he's 21). we would go to dad's on weekends or even to stay there for weeks - it was never a SET dynamic, whatever worked for my parents and us.

i used to be dad's tomboy girl 😕 we are/were very attached. one day big bro and i went to dad's for the weekend and in that specific friday we would go to our aunt for dinner and video game with our cousins - my dad lives in a condo near my aunt. big bro took a shower got dressed and went downstairs to wait for me. after showering, i noticed that the social bathroom of the house was out of toothpaste and i wanted to brush my teeth. my dad was in his bed speaking on the phone very loud with someone. i didn't want to barge in, i just wanted to borrow his toothpaste. his door was cracked opened, i peaked and saw his feet then opening the door a little bit more i noticed he had a towel around his hip as he massages his nuts (why do men do that?). sooo.....i CAN NOT STOP THINKING ABOUT THAT VISION. i just can't!!!!!

my heart started to race and i could feel the temperature of my body raising 🔥🔥🔥🔥. then i backed away a couple steps and yelled "Dad i need toothpaste", he responded "who's there? i thought you guys had left already, your brother came in here to say good bye" - he thought he was home alone cause he would meet us at my aunt's later. he said i could walk in in his bathroom and use his toothpaste - he covered his body with a blanket once i walk in. i cant get the vision of him stroking his nuts out of my mind!!! I JUST CAN'T!! that night at aunt's i would look at him with different eyes, i felt something different, something CHANGED.

that night i masturbated thinking about him. and i since then i cant stop it. i had a date with an older dude from Tinder to see if it could compensate my desire on my dad. i dont know what to do!! i don't know how to approach, u know? the other day i placed my head on his thigh (we were watching tv) and he said "you are getting too comfortable babe, do you want me to move so you can put a pillow here?" 😕 what if i try something and it goes wrong???

I don't know what to do. i even took pictures of him wearing short shorts cause his legs drive me crazy! any dad here could tell me if it ever happened to you? or any daughter could help me on the approach? im desperately crazy about my dad. i wanna lick his nuts so bad!

what should i do?