Unassuming Diary Post. Just Expression
with any luck this will be as loud as a whisper at a concert, but this isnt some woe is me post i just wanted to try and live with my chest out for once. i do not live a vulnerable life I am a *bi* male not even 30. Tho as long as I've had sexual interest ive had interest in buttholes and anal. To the point ive had some opportinity to explore this, but never in a meaningful or consistent way. ive spent time trying to understand the depth of this itnerest and its meaning to me.
current day i realize how significant this all is for me constantly feeling like im not fulfilling myself when having sex with partners, but i have a hard time even being upfront with this interest because perception. to the point ive pursued same sex and trans relations just to feel like i could express myself comfortably, though ultimately not since i am not romantically attracted to other men, trans women has been more comfortable for obvious reasons.
Nowadays theres a special someone in my life (super serious) but they have a strong aversion to anything related. plus being decently well equipped i find myself unwilling in most cases to ask someone to try and put up w the work associated if its not something they enjoy.
i dont intend to force her to change her style or anything, but man i feel like ill spend my life chasing fulfillment hoping i find a unicorn who likes anal (in some context this doesnt work out) and too embarassed to be up front with my interests because a lots of the perception in my demographic of community.
this was just me saying something i felt like i could never say out loud while i look at subs like this happy you all can express yourselves so freely. but still i continue to try and be my most authentic self hopefully outloud one day