u/limeflavoredthings

Looking for a competent, patient, intelligent and older mature man to Dom me. He needs to be confident and very direct please, I need someone who can help guide me and knows what's best for me. I like serving others and making them happy. 💖 Need a lot of praise and affection. I also need someone who is able to discipline me when needed in a stern and loving manner. If I'm really bad and disappoint you 😔 I'm willing to take harsher punishment

I just want a Dom to serve and love and give lots of attention to 🥺💕 and I want a lot of affection.

I'm shy and need a bit of time to get into it but once I'm comfy I like attention and showing off 🤭

Into:

• pet play
• humiliation
• choking, restraints
• Other things 💕

I need some insight I don't even know where to start. I'm tired. But I just want your opinion on these things that happened. Can you tell me if I'm wrong for being hurt by these things? I try to forget or see his side but I'm starting to feel like I'm being manipulated at this point because nothing makes sense.

• I went to bed without telling my partner. The next day he accused me of playing games. Saying I didn't tell him I was going to bed so he sat out there in the living room alone the whole time. His reasoning was he thought I needed alone time so he didn't want to disturb me. I said he could have asked to see if I truly needed alone time. Then he said he did when he finally came to ask what I was doing a few hours later and I happened to be asleep. How is this playing games on my part?
• after a long night of accidentally drinking too much I threw up so much. I was blacking out. The next day my partner didn't check on me and only came to see me at noon to try and continue a fight from the previous night. I said I was hurt he didn't come to check on my well being. He said he's not an alcoholic so he didn't know I would still be sick, he also said he heard me walking around that morning so assumed I was fine. He also said he did come to check on me (when he came to ask to continue to conversation from yesterday).
• I've been begging for more affection. For years. He says he's either working on it, in a bad mood so it's hard to be affectionate or says he thinks he's already improving and I just need to be patient.
• he was offended that I was going to donate some lingerie because I could wear it for him instead of donating it. I explained that he never seems that interested when I dress up for him so I was giving it away because I didn't like the color anyways. He says he does find me attractive yet we have less and less sex. And his compliments are lacking any real enthusiasm and few and far between.
• when he's in a bad mood I CANT DO ANYTHING to make him feel better. I try so so hard to solve his problems. I've tried hugging him and he said it made him comfortable so I stopped. He said I should do what makes me feel better to help him feel better too. For me I like hugs and kind words, but he said he didn't like it. So I asked him what can I do to help. Then he says he doesn't know, or that if he has to tell me how to make him feel better it makes it meaningless/feel fake.

Help...

It feels like a lot of our issues are communication. He often assumed things incorrectly but end up feeling hurt anyways. I've tried to apologize even if he misinterpreted me but it doesn't even help. For me I just feel like he doesn't actually love me, because if he did he would stop using so many excuses like his bad mood to avoid doing things I say make me feel happy and loved.