Bicurious but im so worried about sucking dick for the first time and regretting it or being ashamed of it or having PNC
I have thought of myself as straight most my life but secretly knew I was more feminine and submissive behind closed doors. I have been wearing women underwear and other women clothes on and off for years and in recent months I have felt myself more attracted sexually (not romantically) to men. To their cocks, their arms, chest, muscles. But mostly their cock.
So much so that I find myself jerking off to images of cocks and it gets me off so good. I was never like this before. I have for the longest been so curious about sucking cock. since I was in my teens. But I have chalked it up to be just a fetish and me being super horny instead of me being actually bisexual. But im starting to realize or confuse myself that I dont think I can be straight if im finding myself time and time again getting rock hard from images of cock and imagine myself suck cock. I dont think thats something straight dudes think about.
now I am tempted to suck cock. but fear of the PNC. sometimes ill wear some skirt and thong and get PNC and throw out the women clothes and regret it and feel shame. so im worried if I go suck cock (in the moment it will feel thrilling and amazing) but the PNC will be brutal and depressing realizing that I sucked cock bc I was so horny and then it will potentially confuse me or effect my ego and identity as a what I though was a straight man. but in my justification I think along as I dont suck cock for real and just think about ti then its not gay because I never did it for real. but if I were to suck cock for real then that straight card gets expired and I will have to be bisexual at the minimum bc no straight man sucks cock.
idk im lost confused am I bi am I straight but just horny and porn messed with my brain or what. someone help, any advice would be appreciated