u/dubious_actor

I hope this gif works!! snuck away from my date to make it. let me know if so, I have hours of footage to post 😈

This was originally posted in traumatizedsluts but i was told by a buncha men there that y’all would enjoy it too 🥰.

EEE had the biggest day today!! I am so fucking excited

He said he wants me! I have so many thoughts and feelings about this im kinda just gonna freeform write up everything that happened!!! We had a virtual session today since I agreed with another person to take a bit of time to decide before fucking him. I didn’t actually dress to slutty besides a definitely much too thin cropped polo shirt. We spent today talking about intimate relationships we have in our lives. He asked me if I was still happy with my current partner (Owner, but he doesn’t know the details of all that) and I told him that I didn’t think that I was and didn’t know how long for the world we are. towards the end of our session, he said that he had something important that he needed to communicate clearly. He told me, I cant keep seeing you as a patient because I cannot be effective in this role with you. He offered to refer me out to some new practioner, which I said okay to. he said this was to terminate our work together ethically. I panicked, thinking that this was going to be rejection. I didn’t want to lose him. boy was I wrong. He told me that he was struggling to keep his personal feelings contained and that was why he wanted to terminate our doctor-patient relationship. I felt like I had words pour out of me a second later. I asked him if he wanted to get drinks tomorrow night and yep, he does. I AM SO excited omg I finally know flatly that he sees me the same way all the other men do. something to take and conquer, something to fuck and use and do whatever he wants with. it’s where i’d so happily be forever. It felt differently leaving that session and looking at him on zoom. he wasn’t my doctor anymore, not functionally. just a guy about what the age of my dad should be who wants to fuck me after getting to know my mind. excellent. It’s funny, I came to him because I had something like this come up with my last therapist and regretted fucking her almost immediately. He very passionately has listened to those stories and now here we are. It’s so funny how everything is cyclical. even the grooming is.

My body honestly reacted before my thoughts did, acting on this permission from I guess the wrong person. Maybe the right one. I got home a bit ago from walking my dog and I am aching, thinking about the session we just had and my skin is so fucking warm, my pulse so fucking fast. I am enthralled, everything in me feels so close to the surface. I dont think the lust I have towards him is contained anymore. I don’t think that I felt surprised when he said he wanted me. I felt recognized if anything. a father figure for me to enjoy and indulge in, even if only for a moment. I feel like finally something private of mine has been seen, and instead of closing it he embraced it.

I’m still trying to decide if this is my own desire or just how i’ve been conditioned by all the men and women who came before him. My body and my mind can’t sepeprate things this cleanly. it just wants to lean into him and let him control my future. I feel so genuinely special rn. I feel chosen, not just a patient. I am something else\with weight and consequence and I want it so badly, so much more than I want to be okay. I enjoy drowning in this sensation so deeply. I don’t have to pretend anymore that there’s a version of me who doesn’t want this, there are no more roles for us to hide in. Just him, his body, his mind to worship and let dictate me.

And like, I am aware that in this moment everything basically narrows down into a single choice to actually meet him at 8 tomorrow. in some ways it doesn’t really feel like a choice anymore though. idk it’s more like gravity. im deeply drawn into the orbit of cruel men, evil men, hurtful men. I don’t think he’s ever mentioned his wife even though he still wears the ring in sessions. I’m not gonna mention it either, as it’s none of my business what he does. Maybe she permits him and they have an open relationship, maybe not. Not really my problem, I just want his attention and lust and to feel him inside of me so so soon. All the better if I get to be the mistress I love being someone’s secret. So yeah!! big day omg. I am so fucking happy and excited and turned on. Thanks to all y’all for reading along and following this adventure of mine. I’ll write up however tomorrow goes!!

I added tits so y’all wouldn’t just have to hear a bitch yapping for like a thousand words 💖💖