39 [M4F] #Denver Colorado - I’m greedy and want it all: the emotions, the passion, the intellectual stimulation and the physically desire for someone.
I’ve been thinking about compatibility a lot recently and how it feels so difficult to find a person that is everything I want and if my expectations are just unrealistic. I have been in a long term relationship and the truth is she has never been everything I wanted. For a long time I thought the stability and comfort of a good day-to-day life was enough to sustain me but I realize I need the romantic and passionate part too. For me the relationship has become platonic and I want more. This was so hard to admit to myself first and then to my partner. We are in the difficult process of ending it now. It took us a long time to reach this decision but we feel it’s the right thing to do. We realized we are not everything the other one wants and we deserve to find our 100% and not settle.
So yeah, that’s the headspace I’ve been in for a while. Definitely not the fun and lighthearted vibes a personal ad should be but this is the mood for me right now. You might be wondering why am I here? I want to find a partner who is everything I want and someone who I can also be everything for. So simple, right? I honestly feel like it is impossible, but I have to believe this can happen for me, otherwise I would have stayed in my relationship and settled for good enough. I want to find someone that I connect with emotionally, intellectually, and physically. I am greedy and want it all. I want someone who I can be completely myself with, be completely honest with and not fear rejection for being who I am. I want my partner to feel the same way about me and be completely open as we share our lives. A part of me feels like my expectations are unrealistic and it's too much to ask, but I need to try. I might fail 1000 times but I want to hope that there will be success at the end.
A little bit about me and what I am looking for:
- I am a basic person who lives a steady/stable life. Not the most exciting way to start off but it's true and I wanted to be upfront. If you agree with the lyrics of Tears from Sabrina Carpenter then I might be a match for you.
- I always wanted to have kids but there was no opportunity for it with my partner so I put that thought away for a long time. I've been thinking more about having kids recently. I sometimes think it might be too late for me but I would want it if possible. They don't have to be my biological children, I'd be happy to be a step parent or adopt. I know raising kids is one of the hardest and most stressful things to do but I'm really drawn to it. Famous last words I might regret when I've been sleep deprived for a few months.
- Many of my hobbies and interests I do solo but would like a partner I could share them with. I cook/bake a lot. It would be great if I could cook with my partner, I imagine throwing epic dinner parties that make us the envy of our friend group. I am a hobbyist photographer, primarily landscapes and wildlife. I like plants and gardening. Right now I only have space for houseplants but would like to have a big garden one day that I could share with someone. I'm not the most outdoorsy person but like biking and kayaking.
- I am working on my mental health and being more emotionally available. I can be a pretty private person and in my head a lot, even with those close to me. I realized that this was causing a lot of hurt because people wanted me to let them in. I feel like I've made lots of progress already but definitely can be even better at it and am a work in progress.
- I don't drink alcohol, smoke, or do drugs, the person I am looking for ideally does not either.
- I'd like to meet someone who is compassionate, kind, funny, intelligent, thoughtful, and curious.
- Physical attraction is important and I want to have a passion/desire for the person I am with. I want that feeling to be mutual too. Attraction is tricky and everyone has their preferences so I don't take it personally when someone tells me I'm not their type. We can talk about it early on and exchange photos, if there is not a match in that area that may be the quickest way to know it's not going to work out.
- I am open to anyone in any situation. If you are single that is great and makes things less complicated. I understand life is not so straightforward. You might be coupled now or married, be in an open relationship or practice ENM, or in another situation, I am happy to talk and get to know you if you think we'd be a match.
- Ideally you are somewhat close to me in proximity, hopefully in the US, but I cannot limit myself to just those in my area if I'm trying to find everything I want. I know that is incredibly difficult and rare so I am trying to cast the widest net possible. For now I'll limit it to Earth, but if intelligent life is discovered I'll open it up to those worlds too.
I don't expect to jump into a relationship immediately. I have a lot of healing and work on myself that I need to prioritize but am open to meeting someone to get things started slowly. I’m all for a slow burn dynamic. Interested in getting to know you and seeing if the chemistry builds to the point where we can’t help but blurt out our feelings for each other. The goal is to build something thoughtful and intentional together. If anything I've said interests you let's get a conversation started and see where it goes.