I am a beta. I accept it, and I’m proud of it.
My entire life, I hated myself for being a beta.
Growing up, everyone kept telling me to “be a real man”. I was raised believing being a masculine, alpha male is the right way and the only way to be a man. The problem was, I didn’t know how to do that. Looking around it felt like everyone just knew how to be an alpha, but I was lost. I started looking for answers, solutions and I got into the internet self improvement world. At first it looked great. There were men who I looked up to, they seemed to understand my feelings and they were teaching other people how to become an alpha just like them. After a couple years of trying to follow their path, I can definitely say it ruined my life more.
I’m not saying self improvement is bad. Everyone should take care and improve themselves physically, mentally and spiritually. But the way those self help gurus do it is terrible. “Be an alpha, or you’re worthless.”
First of all, you can not “become” an alpha. You’re either an alpha, or you’re not. It’s not something you can upgrade to from being a beta by working hard. Alpha and beta are just different roles. One is not higher than the other. Yes, alphas are superior at a lot of things for sure. But as humans, no one is worth more than others. We just have different personalities.
Alphas are leaders, betas are followers. Alphas are providers, betas are supporters. Alphas are more outgoing, confident, charismatic, they are the center of attention. Betas are more introverted, a little insecure and anxious in social situations, they remain silent, avoiding the spotlight.
So, my problem was not being a beta. My problem was believing that I could become an alpha and trying to become something I am not. Because I believed being an alpha was the right thing to do and it would make me happy. But it wouldn’t. Because happiness isn’t the same for everyone.
Alphas have that masculine aggression and drive, they work hard and take risks to get whatever they desire. Betas don’t have that, they find happiness in helping and supporting others towards their goals. They are driven by the happiness of a loved one, the appreciation of a superior.
So, what I needed to do was to accept who I am. I am a beta, I accept it and I am proud of it. From now on, no pretending like someone else, no feeling guilt or shame for being who I am. I’ve had this mentality for a couple days now and I can’t even begin to describe how much pressure and stress has been lifted from my shoulders.
I have to say, I am so grateful for the BNWO community for accepting betas as they are. BNWO is amazing for betas. It doesn’t force us to become someone we are not capable of being. It lets us to thrive in the pleasure of supporting loved ones and serving superiors on their path of happiness. Thats what betas should do, thats what makes us happy.