u/Optimal-View1957

My girlfriend (F22) and I (M24) have been together for 2.5 years.

For the first chunk of our relationship she would get jealous and upset if my friends wanted to have a “guys night” if she didn’t have anything to do at the same time (like hanging with her friends) it got to the point where I would just stop going because I genuinely felt bad and didn’t want her to be upset.

She started becoming closer with friends that she was distant with at the beginning of our relationship. Their friendship strictly involves going out DT to clubs and bars and staying out really late. I get going out is fun but I’m not even kidding when I say the only time they “hangout” is going out drinking.

At first I didn’t bat an eye and was happy she was becoming closer with her friends. Until things started to happen whenever she was with these friends. At first it was when they ran into a bartender her and her friends knew and got closer with from a club at home when they were in a different city during a girls trip. It was the first time she was very distant with me over the phone like answering my questions with a half selfie or leaving me on delivered for hours while her friend she was with posting stories and they were hanging with that bartender and his friends.

The next morning she’s being kinda distant still and then calls me and tells me that she needed to tell me something….. according to her, the bartender from home started to become creepy and started getting close to her and touchy. She told me he was DMing her the whole night. She screenshared her phone and while showing me the DM’s I think she accidentally scrolled to high and showed him asking where they went and her saying “home :(“ and then him asking if he could come and she replied “let me ask”

She told me that it was just her way of being polite because she feels bad and doesn’t know how to turn guys down.

This made me very uncomfortable but she convinced me that because she was showing me that she wasn’t hiding anything.

After that my feelings about her going out with her friends often became more anxious. And when she would go out she wouldn’t communicate with me like she used too

A month or two later she was on another girls trip in Mexico (a week before my friends and I met them there) she called me crying at 4am saying her friends and her got into a fight but couldn’t say what it was about. Later the next day she tells me half the truth and says the other girls were mad at her because she got mad at them. I come to find out a couple hours later that the reason she got mad at the other girls is because they went out to meet a bachelor party they met on the plane (red flag) and one of them was showing interest in my gf and they exchanged numbers and the guy even picked her up. One of the friends (that they no longer talk to anymore) told Nicole she should stop and that she has a boyfriend and that’s when she got mad at her friends.

I was livid and very upset. She kept apologizing and just said again that she doesn’t know how to say no and the guy just “picked her up from nowhere” but didn’t really have an explanation for her getting mad at her friend.

After that trip she kinda grew distant from that friend group and everything went back to “normal” until recently she started going out with them again (almost every other weekend if not every weekend) and while she’s out she barely communicates with me and even at times not come home and sleeps at her friends place. She always apologizes and says she got too drunk and that she doesn’t wanna go on her phone because she’s afraid to lose it.

This has started to become a common fight almost every weekend with her saying I don’t trust her or I’m being insecure.

I get upset because of the past things that have happened and the feeling of her having a completely other life out clubbing and the “free” feeling of being single going out with her single friends. She has had boyfriends for most of her life so my head starts to spiral that she likes the feeling of being single and flirting with guys or guys flirting with her because she hasn’t got to experience it much in her life. I also get the feeling she would rather go out with those girls than hang/ go out with me.

Am I overthinking? Are my feelings valid? I do genuinely trust her but I do feel like history gives me the right to feel scared.

My girlfriend (f21) and I (m23) have been together for 2.5 years. About 6 months ago an older friend of mine (m33) hosted a small “get together” where 3 couples and himself were having drinks and playing board games. This friend of mine is married and his wife was not home. They have been quietly known for having threesomes and him being cucked by one of our other friends in multiple occasions. no one is supposed to know about this but we all secretly know.

When the night was starting to die down and everyone started to go to bed/leave, my girlfriend and I stayed up with my older friend listening to music and talking (a certain substance was also being used) I was sitting on the couch in between my gf and friend when I noticed my friend was looking at nude pics/vids of his wife on his phone (she is very hot btw)

It seemed like he was trying to make it obvious and show us but I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to make it weird. My friend then brought up how his wife suggested a 3-way to him and he didn’t know how he felt. And then started talking about his wife’s boob job and asked to show us photos of before vs after, my gf surprisingly agreed and we sat there looking at the photos and the conversation started to turn sexual. He asked me if I would ever have a 3-way and I told him I don’t think I would want my girl with another man and he agreed. We kept talking and then he started showing us more photos of his wife and asked me if I would ever want my gf to get a boob job and I said “no I love my gf boobs” my gf agreed that she thought she had nice tits. We carried on the conversation and kept talking about sexual interests and such until my friend randomly asked my gf to show us her tits. This caught us off guard and my girlfriend looked at me with slight excitement in her face and out of instinct I shook my head no and she declined. My gf then fell asleep on couch and my friend and I continued talking about sex and he was showing me vids of his wife and him fucking and her playing with toys and I told him about our sex life and how I have a higher sex drive than her and have more kinks.

Don’t get me wrong, I would consider our sex life healthy but it’s pretty vanilla. My gf has told me that she really hadn’t enjoyed sex really until she met me so she is not very experienced. I also know she struggles with confidence and I can see her enjoyment when she gets attention from other men at bars/clubs.

Ever since that night I have not been able to stop thinking about how the night could’ve gone if I hadn’t said no. It turns me so incredibly on and I cannot stop fantasizing and masterbaiting to the thought of a MFM 3-way and her opening up sexually from a bigger cock and the sexual attraction from other men.

A month after that night I explained to her my fantasies about that night. She seemed open about it but said she didn’t think she would enjoy another man’s penis and is worried that I’m not protective over her and doesn’t understand why I would want her with another man. I told her that it’s more about her enjoyment but I understand and maybe the fantasy would fade….

It definitely has not faded but I cannot stop fantasizing about it. Do I open up to her again? and maybe suggest sexting with strangers online to explore it more or buying her dildos (she has never had one and gets embarrassed and says no if I tell her I will get her one) or should I just continue to keep it to myself.