u/Ok-dokky

I still at home with my very traditional parents in a quiet neighborhood right by LAX. During the day I'm the good daughter helping my mom in the kitchen, going to school smiling when my dad lectures me about staying focused and respecting the family. But at night I become someone else entirely. Every so often the pressure builds up. I lie in my bed open Tinder, and start matching with the steady stream of older guys in town for business or layovers. They're usually in their 40s or 50s, married, kids at home, staying at one of the airport hotels 10-15 minutes away. I know I shouldn't, but something about their loneliness and the total secrecy pulls me in. I'm extremely careful. I always wait until my parents are asleep, then slip out in plain black leggings, an oversized hoodie, hair in a messy bun, no makeup. I look like any other girl heading to the 24-hour store or a friend's place. Nobody would ever recognize me. I Uber straight to the hotel, text them from the parking lot, and go up to the room. When it's over I clean up, put the hoodie back on, and sneak home before sunrise, heart pounding the whole way. The contrast is exhausting.

One minute I'm sitting at the dinner table acting innocent, the next I'm in a Marriott room with a married man twice my age who's telling me how much tighter and prettier I am than his wife while he's inside me. I like the thrill, the attention, the way they look at me like I'm their forbidden escape. But afterward, when I'm back in my bed, the guilt hits hard. I feel like a liar. Like I'm betraying my parents even myself. I keep thinking "What if they found out?" or "How long can I keep living like this before it breaks me?"

I still at home with my very traditional parents in a quiet neighborhood right by LAX. During the day I'm the good daughter helping my mom in the kitchen, going to school smiling when my dad lectures me about staying focused and respecting the family. But at night I become someone else entirely. Every so often the pressure builds up. I lie in my bed open Tinder, and start matching with the steady stream of older guys in town for business or layovers. They're usually in their 40s or 50s, married, kids at home, staying at one of the airport hotels 10-15 minutes away. I know I shouldn't, but something about their loneliness and the total secrecy pulls me in. I'm extremely careful. I always wait until my parents are asleep, then slip out in plain black leggings, an oversized hoodie, hair in a messy bun, no makeup. I look like any other girl heading to the 24-hour store or a friend's place. Nobody would ever recognize me. I Uber straight to the hotel, text them from the parking lot, and go up to the room. When it's over I clean up, put the hoodie back on, and sneak home before sunrise, heart pounding the whole way. The contrast is exhausting.

One minute I'm sitting at the dinner table acting innocent, the next I'm in a Marriott room with a married man twice my age who's telling me how much tighter and prettier I am than his wife while he's inside me. I like the thrill, the attention, the way they look at me like I'm their forbidden escape. But afterward, when I'm back in my bed, the guilt hits hard. I feel like a liar. Like I'm betraying my parents even myself. I keep thinking "What if they found out?" or "How long can I keep living like this before it breaks me?"