This didn’t happen to you by accident.
It was fate.
It was your destiny.
It felt so good and soothing to get where you are.
This makes you happy.
This arouses you.
This is what you find most comforting.
So why the sudden panic?
Why are you trying to find a way back?
Why do you want to try & go back to being someone you’ve moved on from & can’t ever actually become again?

People think there's a way back from what has already taken hold of your mind. It's not something that can be removed. It will always be there and will grow whether you want it to or not.
It's been there since your very first curiosity allowed the first seed to be planted deep within your subconscious mind (the "Real You").

The only way to avoid anxiety & crippling depression is to embrace the ideals of the very powerful programming you've been bathing your subconscious with.
You CAN'T change your sub conscious mind back to being a straight alpha male to match your current physically male body / appearance. Trying this approach will only lead to continuous failure, stronger relapses, overwhelming anxiety & frustration. It will take a hold and ruin your relationships and ability to maintain them.
Trying to force yourself back or attempting masculinity will be seen as unauthentic, naturally driving people away from you into a life as a lonely INCEL.
The feeling of loneliness will eventually loop you back to this very crossroads again... once you find Porn again and addiction inevitably takes hold. The only difference is that the relapse back will be stronger, deeper, & will have taken you to a darker place requiring more physical change to achieve true happiness.

So, chose wisely to just embrace the "Real You" and start your journey towards happiness not failure, relapse and darker places.

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A few quick definitions & short info
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True Happiness:

A complex and multifaceted emotion that encompasses a range of positive feelings, from contentment to intense joy.

It is often associated with positive life experiences, such as living "authentically" in all aspects of your life, achieving goals and spending time with loved ones.

It's natural occurring feeling/ state of mind that's lasting not for only a few moments here or there but as your default feeling without force of focus.

The feelings of euphoria that wash over you from different types of stimulation often are mistaken for happiness.

Living Authentically:

Rejecting societal pressures, norms, and expectations in favor of making choices that align with one's true self.
Jean-Paul Sartre emphasized that, in a world without inherent meaning, it is up to each individual to create their own purpose.

Presenting Self:

The Presenting Self (false self) rests on the surface manufactured & controlled by your conscious mind, as the how one presents themself to the world.
It stands in contrast to the "true self", which resides BEHIND the facade or image created to mask & hide true feelings/ desires.
Masking or separating from ones True Self is often considered to be dangerous as it frequently leads to troubling physiological issues to include but not limited to extensive chronic depression, severe anxiety, Split Personality Disorder, ect (just a few).

True Self:

A cognitive schema representing those aspects of the self that are considered, by the person, to be most emblematic of his or her true nature. The actual self that resides in your subconscious mind true desires, inclinations, and characteristics of the individual that may or may not manifest as ones "Presenting Self".

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Don't worry. You can still find happiness by living authentically!

Now knowing that it's impossible to change who you've now become back to who you were before (in your mind) you have to come to terms with it.

"Okay, so how do I find peace and happiness again" ... you ask?

You CAN embrace "The You" that you've created in your mind.
You might not be able to picture her or even know that shes there yet... but she is there and She Loves you!

You want to know her.

She wants you to love her just as much as she loves you!

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Current her: Your Subconscious mind

Current you: Your Conscious mind

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You were NOT designed for these two to function separately without deep internal conflicts.
It is impossible to feel an authentic, true happiness (lasting/ constant happiness... not for only a few moments here or there) - unless you align your conscious mind / the physical you (the one you CAN control) to become and act as one again!

So, we know that there's nothing you can do to change your subconscious mind back to authentic default masculine thinking/ feeling & be at peace with it.
This leaves the only option for true authentic happiness again is to change your conscious mind to match your subconscious mind.
Yes, you're understanding me now.

The only way is by becoming "her" physically ... become the "Real You" that's been hiding in your subconscious mind for so long.

Become your true self, live authentically & you will experience real happiness once again!

❤️ ~~~ Emma

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Disclaimer Information:
(ALL posts are Satire ONLY! - Consume at your own risk!) -(Porn & alike content may be dangerous / addictive. Research everything before consuming. Consult a licensed mental health professional for advice)