u/Due-Copy-2391

Attractive, confident male couple looking for the right guy who knows exactly what he’s doing and isn’t afraid to take control.

Me: 32, white, 5’7”, average build, 7”, cut

Boyfriend: 30, white, 5’9”, toned, 6”, cut, masculine

We’re both good looking, take care of ourselves, and don’t waste time with games.

Here’s the deal. I get off watching my boyfriend with another man. He’s usually the one in control, but we’re looking for someone who can flip that dynamic without hesitation. Someone dominant, verbal, and masculine enough to take over and push him into a more submissive side.

You should be the type who leads, not asks. Confident, assertive, and knows how to command attention and respect. We want someone who can step in, take control of the situation, and own it while I sit back and watch.

This is about presence, energy, and dominance just as much as anything physical.

Attractive, confident male couple looking for the right guy who knows exactly what he’s doing and isn’t afraid to take control.

Me: 32, white, 5’7”, average build, 7”, cut

Boyfriend: 30, white, 5’9”, toned, 6”, cut, masculine

We’re both good looking, take care of ourselves, and don’t waste time with games.

Here’s the deal. I get off watching my boyfriend with another man. He’s usually the one in control, but we’re looking for someone who can flip that dynamic without hesitation. Someone dominant, verbal, and masculine enough to take over and push him into a more submissive side.

You should be the type who leads, not asks. Confident, assertive, and knows how to command attention and respect. We want someone who can step in, take control of the situation, and own it while I sit back and watch.

This is about presence, energy, and dominance just as much as anything physical.

Attractive, confident male couple looking for the right guy who knows exactly what he’s doing and isn’t afraid to take control.

Me: 32, white, 5’7”, average build, 7”, cut

Boyfriend: 30, white, 5’9”, toned, 6”, cut, masculine

We’re both good looking, take care of ourselves, and don’t waste time with games.

Here’s the deal. I get off watching my boyfriend with another man. He’s usually the one in control, but we’re looking for someone who can flip that dynamic without hesitation. Someone dominant, verbal, and masculine enough to take over and push him into a more submissive side.

You should be the type who leads, not asks. Confident, assertive, and knows how to command attention and respect. We want someone who can step in, take control of the situation, and own it while I sit back and watch.

This is about presence, energy, and dominance just as much as anything physical.

Attractive, confident male couple looking for the right guy who knows exactly what he’s doing and isn’t afraid to take control.

Me: 32, white, 5’7”, average build, 7”, cut

Boyfriend: 30, white, 5’9”, toned, 6”, cut, masculine

We’re both good looking, take care of ourselves, and don’t waste time with games.

Here’s the deal. I get off watching my boyfriend with another man. He’s usually the one in control, but we’re looking for someone who can flip that dynamic without hesitation. Someone dominant, verbal, and masculine enough to take over and push him into a more submissive side.

You should be the type who leads, not asks. Confident, assertive, and knows how to command attention and respect. We want someone who can step in, take control of the situation, and own it while I sit back and watch.

This is about presence, energy, and dominance just as much as anything physical.

This just happened, all the details are exactly what happened but also how I’m feeling. Let me know your thoughts and what I should do. As you read about what happened I think it’s important to note that there are times that my boyfriend does enjoy sharing. Like there was one time where he got in the car and called me after the hookup and told me everything him and Derek did when they have hooked up in the past and he was almost excited to talk to me about it, but this time it was different so I’m interested to hear everyone’s thoughts. Apologies for the length, I wanted to write something others would enjoy reading but also keep in the detail and emotions….

All day, I couldn’t shake the feeling.

It wasn’t anxiety exactly. It was sharper than that. Anticipation, maybe. The kind that sits low in your stomach and won’t go away no matter how busy you try to keep yourself.

My boyfriend had told me where he was working that day, and the second he said the location, my mind went straight to one person.

Derek.

They had history. Not just casual, random hookups—years of it. On and off for eight years, long before I was even in the picture. The kind of connection that doesn’t really fade, it just… pauses.

I’d never met him in person, but I knew enough. Middle Eastern, mid-forties, stupidly attractive in that effortless, confident way. The kind of man who has money, power, and knows exactly what he’s doing. He lived in a penthouse right near where my boyfriend was working that day, which only made the feeling stronger.

And yeah, I’ll admit it—I was into it.

Not in a jealous way. In a curious, almost addictive way. I liked knowing. I liked imagining. I liked the idea of them together, even if I had never actually seen it. I had even talked to Derek on Snap a few times months ago, telling him straight up that I was into hearing about what they did. But then he disappeared when he got a boyfriend, and that whole dynamic just… stopped.

Until recently.

They broke up about a month ago, and just like that, Derek was back. One message turned into flirting, flirting turned into sexting, and a few weeks ago my boyfriend went over there. He told me they kept it light—just messing around, nothing crazy—but even that was enough to bring everything back to the surface.

So yeah. That feeling I had all day?

It wasn’t random.

When I texted him after work asking what he was doing, and he said he was stopping by Derek’s, it was like everything clicked into place. My heart sped up a little. Not panic—something else. Something hotter.

I let my mind run with it.

I pictured the penthouse. The way Derek probably greeted him at the door, casual but knowing. That unspoken history between them. The kind where they don’t need to say much because they already know exactly where it’s going.

Time passed slower than it should have.

When I got back in my car later, I checked the time. He’d been there a while. Long enough.

When he finally responded and I asked what they did, I was ready for it. I wanted the details. Not just a summary—I wanted to feel like I was there in some way. Like I was part of it, even from the outside.

Instead… it felt like I was pulling it out of him.

Short answers. Minimal effort. A little bit of attitude.

He told me enough to confirm it—yeah, they hooked up, yeah, they both got off, yeah, they even showered together—but there was no depth to it. No energy. No sense that he understood why I was asking or what I was hoping to get out of it.

And that’s what threw me.

Because for me, the details are the whole thing.

It’s not just about what he does—it’s about sharing it. About that blurred line where what he experiences still somehow includes me. It turns me on, yeah, but more than that, it makes me feel connected to him in a way that we’ve honestly been missing.

And that’s where it gets complicated.

Because outside of this… we have almost no intimacy.

He gets home from work, he’s exhausted, he showers, goes to bed. Which I understand. I really do. And I’m not even mad that he makes time to hook up with other people—I’ve accepted that, and part of me even enjoys it in a weird way.

But what hurts is that I feel like I’m getting the least version of him.

Other people get his energy. His attention. His effort.

And when I ask for something as simple as sharing the experience with me, it feels like a burden to him. Like I’m asking for too much.

So I guess that’s why I’m here.

Has anyone else been in a situation like this where you’re into your partner being with other people, but they don’t want to share the details at all?

Does it mean something deeper, like shame or discomfort with the dynamic? Or is it just a difference in how people process this kind of thing?

And more importantly—how do you deal with wanting that level of openness and connection when your partner clearly doesn’t?

100% true story

It had been months since anything like this had happened, and honestly, I wasn’t expecting it to. It’s been months maybe almost a year since my bf and I haven’t been intimate.

The three of us - I’m 32, about 5’7, 175, average build. My boyfriend is 30, 5’9, lean, toned in that effortless way. And then there’s Kyle.

Kyle is 43, about 165, muscular in that tight, controlled way that comes from years of knowing his body. He’s older, more experienced, and carries this quiet dominance that you feel the second he walks into a room. He doesn’t need to talk much. You just know. And the history between him and my boyfriend makes it even more intense. There’s something unfinished between them every time they’re together.

That day felt completely normal.

We hung out, grabbed food, came back, relaxed. Nothing in the air suggested anything was about to happen. If anything, I had gotten used to this part of our dynamic being on pause.

Then I heard the shower turn on.

Something in me immediately clicked.

The last time he did that out of nowhere, it meant he wanted to play.

When he came out, he didn’t make a big deal of it. Just walked downstairs and came back up with the massage table. He looked at Kyle and said, “let’s go.”

Not me.

Just him.

I followed anyway.

The second we got into the room, the energy shifted. My boyfriend laid down on the table, completely exposed, relaxed but clearly in control of what he just set in motion. Kyle stood there for a second, looking at him in a way that already felt different, like he was remembering exactly how this felt.

We started with a normal massage. Hands on his back, shoulders, working him over like nothing unusual was happening. For about 7 or 8 minutes, it stayed that way.

Then Kyle’s hands started drifting lower.

Slower. More deliberate.

I stayed up by my boyfriend’s neck, working his shoulders, but mostly just watching. Watching Kyle’s focus shift, watching how his hands lingered longer, how his body moved closer.

Kyle pulled his shirt off.

That was the moment everything changed.

My boyfriend stayed stretched out, completely oiled up now, his skin catching the light. Kyle stepped in closer, his body hovering over him, their skin starting to slide against each other from the oil.

I was still fully dressed, standing there, watching them, feeling like I was right on the edge of it but not fully in it yet.

That didn’t last long.

I moved toward Kyle, reached down, and pulled at his waistband, freeing him. I grabbed more of the coconut oil and started spreading it across him, his chest, his back, letting my hands move slower than they needed to. By that point both of them were completely slick, their bodies already starting to move together naturally.

Kyle climbed up onto the table like it was instinct.

He pressed himself against my boyfriend, their bodies sliding together, chest to back, his weight settling in like he was claiming him. He leaned forward, his mouth close to my boyfriend’s ear, their breathing already heavier.

I stepped back.

And just watched.

Kyle started grinding against him, slow at first, letting the tension build. You could see my boyfriend reacting to it immediately, his body opening up, leaning into it.

I grabbed more oil and moved in again, spreading it lower, making sure everything was ready. Kyle took it from there.

He pressed in closer, slower, controlled.

My boyfriend’s voice cut through the room, low and strained, telling him to hold it there, to go slow, to let him feel it. Saying how long it had been, how much he missed it.

That alone was enough to send me over the edge mentally.

I started undressing then, not even thinking about it, my body catching up to what I was feeling. I kept grabbing oil, helping, watching Kyle move deeper, watching my boyfriend adjust, take it, push back into him.

They fell into a rhythm fast.

Familiar. Intimate.

Kyle shifted positions, lifting my boyfriend’s legs, turning him slightly, changing the angle, making everything deeper, more controlled. I moved in closer, drawn into it, needing to be part of it somehow, even if it wasn’t the focus.

I found myself right there with them, touching, helping, feeling completely turned on just from watching how into each other they were. The way they spoke to each other, the way my boyfriend reacted to him, it wasn’t casual. It was intense.

And they didn’t rush.

That’s what got me.

I thought after months it would be quick, almost desperate. But it wasn’t. They took their time. Slowed down, sped up, adjusted, explored. Like they were making up for every second they missed.

I ended up losing it first.

Completely overwhelmed, I stepped away and finished quickly, almost too quickly, while they were still completely locked into each other. I slipped into the shower, but even there I could hear them, still going, still completely wrapped up in it.

They didn’t stop.

Not for a while.

I cracked the door open, needing to see it again. Every time I looked, they were still at it, still connected, still moving like they weren’t ready for it to end.

Eventually the pace changed. Slower at first, then building again. I saw them closer now, bodies pressed together, moving differently, more urgently.

Then finally, it ended.

But even that was different.

My boyfriend didn’t just walk away like he used to. He stayed with Kyle, stayed close, kept touching him, letting the moment finish fully for both of them.

They walked out together.

And that stuck with me more than anything.

Because a few months ago, I would’ve said I wasn’t even that into this anymore.

But something about the time apart, the buildup, the fact that it happened without me needing to ask…

It hit completely different.

And now, with that trip coming up, I already know.

Those unplanned moments?

They’re the ones that stay with you.