Confused by 42M. Friendly or Cautiously Interested?
Feeling like I need outside perspective because I feel insane about this guy I like. I’m 24 (f), he’s around 42 (m). Back in 2024 we hung out in a group maybe 4 times at my best friend’s house for board games. Saw each other consistently at Monday night board games at a local pizza place. Then we didn’t really talk in 2025. This year we reconnected and now I cannot tell if this man likes me or if he’s just friendly in a very weird specific way.
Things that make me think there’s something there: -2024, he made an I love you joke about something I did or said that amused him. This was at one of our basement board game hangs with my best friend. -I called the board game pieces cute at the beginning of a game, he later leaned over and said they were cute.
Here’s what’s currently (2026) confusing me after we’ve reconnected:
- At a board game night at a pizza place when we reconnected, I joked “what’s a person gotta do to get a drink around here?” and he immediately got the host/server situation handled for me. -Immediately asked when we were hanging out when I approached the table to join the game.
- He tends to notice little things about me fast and reacts to them. My expression dropped and he said I looked sad. Then said “there you are.” When I smiled after he copied my expression.
- He’s asked me to update him about stuff, like my car since it was having issues.
- He asks my opinion on things in a way that feels like my answer actually changes what happens in our friend group.
- In group settings he’s defended me before when my friend was getting kind of critical.
- He also seems to choose my side a lot in games / group dynamics. Cheering me on loudly, helping me get ahead.
- He offered me his coat once when I was cold/shaking. Stood up and put it around my shoulders.
- He once gave me a blanket out of his closet when we were watching a movie at his place with me, my friend, and him. Left the room and sprayed it with cologne then came back in and gave it to me. If he wanted to freshen it up, he did have febreeze. Then later grinned at my friend when I wasn’t getting up after the movie because I was warm and the blanket smelled good. -He also came to hang out with me and my friend when I invited him to play pool. He did not participate. I kept noticing he put his phone down when I took my shots.
The biggest thing was the movie:
I asked if he wanted to go see Project Hail Mary sometime. He asked “is it just you and I?” I said yes. Once I confirmed that, he moved FAST. Within like 40 minutes he was already saying he’d get the tickets and pick me up. He picked the theatre closest to me, paid for the tickets, gave me his discount for concessions, and picked me up/dropped me off.
At the theatre:
- He slowly started using my armrest even though we had the whole row to ourselves.
- His drink was on the armrest on his other side, so he did not need mine.
- His arm was touching my arm.
- I was leaning on my hand on one side and he kind of mirrored me and leaned into his hand.
- When we walked down the stairs leaving the theatre, he lagged/corrected so we were walking together.
Other physical stuff:
- At Activate Games he stood way too close to me while we were waiting for a room to open.
- He tends to loom / get into my bubble.
- We’ve had repeated hand brushes that didn’t immediately get corrected away, like both reaching into a bag of chips over and over.
- There’s been a lot of eye contact. Like intense eye contact. At one point we were basically talking over my friend’s shoulder at pool.
Other little things:
- He shows me random pictures of his food even if it’s like hot dogs or eggs whenever we get an alone moment. He doesn’t show my friends that.
- He heart reacts/likes my messages when I specifically acknowledge something thoughtful he did.
- If I jokingly call him rude, he immediately starts backtracking/explaining himself.
- He told me once it would be “weird” for him as the older guy to initiate, which makes me think he IS aware of the age gap/optics.
- He said thanks for being kind more than once.
Now the confusing part / why I feel insane: -He is an engineer so he works a lot, and has multiple personal projects going on
- He is a horrible texter.
- Leaves me on delivered forever.
- Doesn’t really initiate much.
- He seems very attentive in person, but afterward I feel like I drop off his radar.
- He seems willing when I open the door, but he doesn’t really push things forward himself.
- I invited him to something this weekend and instead of a clear yes/no I got a vague “I might be able to peel off for 1-2 hours if you guys hang out.” -He is still open to hanging out in the future and never really shuts that door. But does not initiate his own hang out ideas.
- So now I feel like I’ve gotten a million little signs, but not enough actual follow-through.
Basically: does this sound like cautious interest from an older, more reserved guy? Or am I reading normal friendliness too romantically because I like him?